Nellie

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Posts by Nellie

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  39

  Have you put your JW family behind you? Are you content with your decision

  by nicolaou in

  1. social
  2. family

  just feeling a bit fed up.

  it's not always like this i know but i'm wondering if life would be far easier for me and my wife if i just drew a line under all my efforts to maintain a relationship with my jw mother, brother and sisters.

  all the rejection, judgementalism and condescension gets a bit much after a while.. how many here actually said 'goodbye' to their jw family and can honestly say they did not regret it?.

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  Nellie

  It's funny with me - my JW family has NEVER been active in my life. Growing up, my mother's TWIN brother was an elder (he still is too). I was a child, being raised by his unbelieving sister and never heard from them, although they lived nearby. They never called to see how I was doing or if I needed anything. And although we were usually assigned to the same conventions, they never bothered to ask if I needed a ride - nothing!

  When I married into a witness family, I thought great - now I'll be part of a spiritual-fleshly family! Ha! The joke was on me - my inlaws were never really part of our lives. They live out of state, never call, visit maybe once a year, etc.

  I know that if we ever DA, 1 - they'd never know and 2 - they probably wouldn't care.
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  13

  question re a jw marrying a non jw???

  by nelly1 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i left the org a few years ago but my friend in the org wants me to go to her wedding she is marrying a non jw, she has been councelled for seeing him and is on reproof, they dont know she is going to marry him shes not telling them till after, all her family are jw some are going, its a civil ceremony, will they df her if she marries him?.

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  Nellie

  It's not a df'ing offense, but I agree - those who take the plunge usually have an uphill battle to fight afterwards. Privileges are removed and hard to get back.
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  14

  What have been the strangest "Grounds for DFing?

  by new boy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i'm sure there are many........... what happen in my family was crazy......... glendora califorina 1961.my mother wanted to change khs, it had a "bad spirit" there.

  there was also a mass exodus from the hall.

  she wanted to go to the azusa cong.

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  Nellie

  I friend of ours was disfellowshipped for arguing with his mother. He was @ 20 years old and they were in a heated argument over something stupid (like only a mother and 20 year old can be), they were on the stairs. He was trying to get up the stairs away from her and she reached for him - he probably knocked her hand away (although he denies doing this) - anyway she told the brothers that he hit her and they disfellowshipped him for it.

  That was around 26 years ago and he still doesn't talk to her to this day.
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  20

  Paternity Question

  by pratt1 in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  one of my clients who also happens to be close friend went mia for most of last week.

  i called him a few times with out a response from him, so i assumed he was sick and would get back to me when he felt better.. i spoke with him this morning and he was very depressed, apparently his wife of 9 years admitted to him last week that their 6 year old son may not be his.. apparently she had an affair with a man about 7 years ago for 2 months.

  he was traveling to the west coast every other week for business at the time, but he never had a clue.. he is upset and fuming mad.

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  Nellie

  I wonder what would happen if he suggested they go to the brothers for counsel?
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  20

  Paternity Question

  by pratt1 in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  one of my clients who also happens to be close friend went mia for most of last week.

  i called him a few times with out a response from him, so i assumed he was sick and would get back to me when he felt better.. i spoke with him this morning and he was very depressed, apparently his wife of 9 years admitted to him last week that their 6 year old son may not be his.. apparently she had an affair with a man about 7 years ago for 2 months.

  he was traveling to the west coast every other week for business at the time, but he never had a clue.. he is upset and fuming mad.

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  Nellie

  I didn't even notice that all the responses were from us gals! Funny how the men are being mum on this topic!
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  17

  Harry Potter? Are witnesses told not to read it????

  by annalice in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have not been to a meeting for some years now so i would not know if it has been said ,but have the witnesses actually been told straight out not to read the harry potter books?

  i ask this because my in-laws have seen me reading them and now think i am into evil stuff because i have them .

  so is it just them or is this what is now taught in the orginization?

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  Nellie

  They are told straight out not to read or watch or listen to anything that has mystical, magical or supernatural themes.

  When I was "in" that meant, I didn't let my children read Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings or even Snow White. Funny, I let them watch Wizard of Oz, Cinderella or Beauty and the Beast - but not without some hesitation. I knew many who disagreed with my husband and I loving Star Trek - they disagreed with the idea that God could have created life on other planets.

  P.S. We now own them all !
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  20

  Paternity Question

  by pratt1 in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  one of my clients who also happens to be close friend went mia for most of last week.

  i called him a few times with out a response from him, so i assumed he was sick and would get back to me when he felt better.. i spoke with him this morning and he was very depressed, apparently his wife of 9 years admitted to him last week that their 6 year old son may not be his.. apparently she had an affair with a man about 7 years ago for 2 months.

  he was traveling to the west coast every other week for business at the time, but he never had a clue.. he is upset and fuming mad.

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  Nellie

  Wow! I agree with you about the first focus being on the marriage. Your friends needs to remember that the child is innocent in all of this and shouldn't be made to bear the brunt of pain due to the mother's indiscretion.

  My first question is this: Why did she bring into question the paternity issue?

  Is there a medical issue with the child that may need intervention from his father? If not, then why didn't she just confess the affair and leave the rest out?

  It's possible that this the beginning of her admission that she wants to bring an end to the marriage. Many, many, many people raise children that aren't theirs biologically. Is it really important to know? How does that benefit him in the long picture?

  Of course these questions can't be answered until they decide if the marriage is going to survive this. Trust is a hard thing to rebuild, not impossible, but hard!
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  6

  Please answer this question from my brother

  by *jeremiah* in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  hi everyone, my bro just sent me this email.

  can you answer his question?

  "hey, i was looking through the jan. 1st 2007 watchtower because i saw on one of those forum sites a post about how the jan 1st watchtower was very poorly written and drew away some jws.

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  Nellie

  No. This isn't new. Their belief is that those faithful worshipers of God who died after Jesus was resurrected, but before he took heavenly power, were sleeping in death until Christ took heavenly power in 1914. At that time they were resurrected to his side. Since then, members of the anointed who die (the balance of the 144,000 that they believe are going to heaven) are immediately resurrected to heavenly life.
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  31

  So what will they do now.....?

  by Gill in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  2014, a hundred years since christ's supposed invisible presence began, has come and gone.

  it is now 2018.. you are now 75 years old and the world is packed with free information.

  you can find out anything you want to, and infact, you have to use the internet every day just to shop and bank and a lot of the things you need to do.

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  Nellie

  You don't have to look to the future for stories like this - they're all around us today. My husband's aunt is 75 years old, never been married (I think is a virgin, but I won't ask), has lost all of her immediate family, has no children, lives alone, has friends in the congregation but is really too sick to do much in the way of associating with them. What has she done with her life, really? When she looks back, what has she ever done for herself? Did she enjoy her singleness - traveling and exploring the world? No, she was too busy working and going to meetings and in service. Those were the only three activities in her life. How sad - but at 75, what else does she know?
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  22

  Did you say "I love you?"

  by serendipity in

  1. social
  2. family

  i grew up in an emotionally constipated family.

  my parents didn't hug us or tell us they loved us.

  they were slightly affectionate with each other, but i don't think i ever heard them express their love for each other, in front of us kids.

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  Nellie

  My family was very affectionate when I was growing up. We greeted and parted with kisses ALWAYS and sometimes it was accompanied with "I love you." My husband's family was exactly the opposite, and I had to train him to get with the program. Just the other day a neighbor was visiting when he came in from work. He walked in, said good evening and leaned down to kiss me hello. Her comment was, "I love the way he does that, it was a two-second kiss, but it was soo sensual. You guys are so inspiring." Not bad after almost 25 years!

  I've carried on the tradition with my children and I hope they carry it to their families. Yes, even as teenagers they kiss Mommy goodbye - even in front of their friends!