Nellie

Joined

• started 61 topics
• posted 661 times   see topics posted on
• send a message

Posts by Nellie

• 
  45

  I Find NY Post Cartoon Insensitive, If Not Downright Offensive

  by snowbird in

  1. social
  2. current

  i'm going to join in the mass e-mailing campaign.. sylvia.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Nellie

  Nathan - Are you serious? No where in the cartoon does it identify the man holding the gun as a police officer, but that has been widely reported too! On the off chance that you're not just looking for a reaction and in case you haven't been following the news (and you're from Washington no less), President Obama has been working on and just signed the stimulus bill. The inference is clear!
• 
  23

  IF YOU TOLD A JW A RUMOUR, WOULD THEY SPREAD THE RUMOUR AROUND?

  by badboy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  lets say i told them something scandalious about an adherent of another demination(sp?

  ), would they spread it around?.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Nellie

  I grew up with "Don't tell-a-phone; Tell-a-Witness"
• 
  20

  Fade vs. Disassociation - What's your reason?

  by Nellie in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  after sending my disfellowshipped sister-in-law a valentine's card last week, she sent me an email.

  imagine my surprise!

  after 15 years of being disfellowshipped, she told me that she reinstated one month ago.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Nellie

  After sending my disfellowshipped sister-in-law a Valentine's card last week, she sent me an email. Imagine my surprise! After 15 years of being disfellowshipped, she told me that she reinstated one month ago. Then she spent the next two days "encouraging" me to "return to Jehovah." One of the things she asked me was why hadn't I disassociated myself. Here's some of my response:

  ---

  The reason why I haven't disassociated myself is simple - If someone from the congregation wants to continue associating with me, I don't want them to feel like they are disobeying the rules in order to do so. The word apostate according to the dictionary means someone who has changed their religious beliefs. That is the apostate understanding that I accept. (And according to that, anyone who wasn't raised a witness would also be an apostate, because they've changed their beliefs to become a witness.) Now, I'm not boycotting any kingdom halls with picket signs, nor am I sharing my new thoughts with anyone who is a witness, unless specifically asked by them. It is not my desire to change anyone else's feelings about the organization. I'm not sure how you could question why my choice to leave would be a difficult one. Interestingly, you said that if my new found findings were the truth, then I would not have had to wrestle them. I say, how could it not be?! I left the only religion I've ever know and potentially lost all the friends I've ever had. I wasn't disfellowshipped because of wrongdoing, and I didn't leave because I wanted to pursue any wrongdoing. I left because I accepted my new found findings. I did so with the full understanding of everything that I was going to have to give up. It's the members and/or the organization who put the label apostate on me because I no longer agree with some of the understandings. So, here are my only questions for you to ask yourself. Why did you feel that you left Jehovah when you were disfellowshipped? If he doesn't belong only to the witnesses, why will all non-believers, according to their understanding, be destroyed at Armageddon? You said that you decided to rededicate yourself to Jehovah, so why did it also include being a witness? What way could you have rededicated yourself to Jehovah without being a witness? Please don't feel compelled to answer these questions to me. I just want you to understand that according to the Witnesses, there is no other way - it's their way or out. I had no choice but to leave.

  ---

  What did you decide, and why?
• 
  35

  why do we call ourselves apostates?

  by recovering in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i think that the very act of questioning the teachings of the watchtower society does not make us apostates!!!

  does not the bible teach us to examine what it teaches?

  that is what the apostle paul says in the bible.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Nellie

  Don't forget by their definition an apostate is someone who seeks to get others to leave their org by false witnesses and testimony, etc. I embraced the Websters definition of apostate for myself, because yes, I did change my religious beliefs. But I have no interest whatsoever in trying to change anyone else's mind about what they accept as the truth. Years ago, no one would have been able to make me think any differently about it (even though I had a few family members who tried) and that's why I know it's not worth the effort to try to change anyone else's mind. The way I feel about it is that if they want answers, they'll ask questions. Then, and only then, will I share.
• 
  49

  For Valentine's Day I made my wife cry

  by JimmyPage in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  well the fit hit the shan today.. i was lying in bed and my wife was trying to get me up for service.

  i kept telling her no.

  she kept asking why not.. when i felt the moment was right i talked to her calmly.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Nellie

  Jimmy - I'm offering my thoughts although I don't know your complete story or background.

  First, remember that your wife's relationship with the organization is her's alone and getting her to see things from your point of view will be a long and slow process. Don't even try it for now. She's got a lot to swallow just coming to terms with the idea that you don't want it anymore.

  And second (and probably even more frightening) right now she's worried that if you don't want Jehovah, that means that you don't want her either. In her Witness-indoctrinated mind, leaving the organization means becoming a worldly-party-womanizer! Trust me, whether she says it or not, that's what she's thinking! You MUST reassure her that your problem is with the org and not her. Once she calms down from that and begins to trust that you still want HER, then and only then will she be able to begin to think about what you said to her about your questions.

  You can successfully leave the organization and keep your marriage together. It isn't easy, but it is possible. I wish you all the best.
• 
  5

  The jw uniform

  by carla in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the other day child tells me how she saw a guy in a suit/tie and it just made her feel ick, thinking it was a jw.

  so we were laughing about how a few years back seeing a guy in a suit would not have such an effect upon us and how when we used to see cars of people all dressed up on saturday's we always assumed it was people on their way to a wedding, and probably a catholic wedding at that!

  because they do the noon mass thing sometimes!

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Nellie

  I'm glad you said Catholic wedding - because they sure don't dress up to go to Catholic church at all - jeans and t-shirts are what I see them wearing around here!
• 
  44

  Sex and JWs I want to know what you think "he played the God Card"

  by jonie in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  i was a jw but left about 8 years ago, my husband wanted to go back so we have tried, i did not do so good.

  being gone so long just helped me realize this is totally false, i look at the jws as lambs being lead to their deaths.. fast forward to now, we are both in our 40s and i have had medical side effects from using birth control and other meds as birth control.

  my body can not take anymore, i have suffered breast cyst and uterus cyst, so i asked my husband who has an issue with using condoms because he does not reach a climax, and has to masturbate, to use something that would offer us a permanent result such as him getting a vasectomy.. his reaction is like why i feel even more strongly that jws are wrong.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Nellie

  Scully - talk about reading between the lines. Fortunately (or unfortunately) I know the two involved . . . and you're right - there's more going on between his ears than between his legs. And nothing, including therapy, counseling, or the elders, is getting through to this guy. He's living in his own fantasy world!

  We girls have had this discussion . . . time and time again. She knows she needs to leave . . . but her own issues keep her there. She's looking for strength - hopefully, the strength to leave (and not the strength to endure). I keep telling her that her concern has got to be her and the kids. That God doesn't want her to spend the rest of her life miserable, alone and afraid (yes there's a potential physical threat - he's that unstable!) She's worried about how he'll react and/or deteriorate after she leaves. Until she can get rid of this guilt . . . she'll be there and miserable...or he'll eventually snap and I'll lose a dear friend.

  I pray one of you can get through to her because I can't seem to.
• 
  25

  Do the right thing

  by coolhandluke in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have a story for you.

  it relates to being an ex-jw but you don't get that till the end unlessin of course you are a smart cookie and can figure it out before then.

  i love playing cards.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Nellie

  I think you may be attributing way too much forethought and abilities to someone who you clearly identify as way too drunk to even know where her keys were! I realize that your feelings are clouded by your past experiences with her and her self-centeredness, but in this particular instance chalk it up to being a nice guy. No one's forcing you to turn this one incident into a relationship. You don't have to invite her over again. Rhe next time you see her just say, "Hey, feeling better? Good - enjoy your night." And don't invite her into your world.
• 
  25

  Do the right thing

  by coolhandluke in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have a story for you.

  it relates to being an ex-jw but you don't get that till the end unlessin of course you are a smart cookie and can figure it out before then.

  i love playing cards.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Nellie

  Luke - you did the right thing! Or rather . . . you did one of the "right thing" options that you had in front of you. Ultimately the decisions we make have to be decisions that WE can live with. You didn't do this for her . . . really, you did it for you. You would've felt terrible knowing that she was taken advantage of in her condition. In the big picture of your life, what did it cost you? A few groceries.
• 
  22

  This really sucks…Living a double life for the sake of family...

  by tooktheredpill in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  guys: i just need to vent a little.

  as you may know, ive been working for a couple of months, trying to make my wife think by herself.

  she started to do it, and i noticed it when she started arguing with her parents about some wt policies some weeks ago.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Nellie

  RedPill & Scotts -

  I was once that wife with the fading husband. Other than saying to me, over and over, it's only an organization; my husband also couldn't bring himself to trashing the organization to me. I was worried about him (and honestly about us) as I watched him move further and further away from the "truth." Although I always knew he loved me, I worried that w/o the rules of the organization, he might think about cheating or leaving me. I can honestly say that that's what my worst fear was. Everyone's road is different. My advice to you is simple - YOU MUST MAKE SURE SHE IS SECURE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP!! She'll fight you tooth and nail to stay in if she thinks she's losing you!!! She'll run to the elders for help as she sees you pulling away. Now is the time to reassure her! If she's secure, she'll be able to hear you . . . eventually. Even if she doesn't agree, she'll be able to hear you.