Posts by misguided

35

"College, oh no!" PT 1-New guy here

by theundecided2004 in

jw
friends

hello everyone, i have been keeping up with posts on this board for about four years now, been a member for about one year but have never had the courage to make my first post.

so now i'm going to make that first step to get rid of that fear i had of betraying myself, and vent my experiences and frustrations with this faith.

i think this board will be a good way for me to make acquaintances of people with similar feelings that i have regarding the jehovah's witnesses, as well as a good outlet for my frustrations as a jw, and get some advice as to maybe getting a reasonable exit strategy in the near future.

misguided

Welcome theundecided2004. Glad you could finally get up the courage to post. I think most of us understand the apprehension, though, after what we've been programmed to think-feel-hate about these types of places.

Having been sexually abused by a JW friend of the family, I could relate to your comment:

I couldn't say anything to my parents, what would they think of the trouble I caused? I thought, "my father will blame me, whip me!" "I'll ruin the parents' relationship!" I'll smear the older brother's name!" My disposition changed, I grew angry, confused, betrayed by G-D.

While attempting to tell my parents during a dinnertime when I was 16, I couldn't quite find the words to say, and inadvertently said something negative about the elders. My elder father picked up the steak-knife he was using and pointed it at me and said that I was NEVER TO TALK LIKE THAT ABOUT THE BROTHERS AGAIN! I got the message.

I was left feeling hated by God, like I must be a "goat" because he obviously did not care much about me. I've felt worthless, like no matter how much effort I put into trying to be a good jw, it was never good enough. I felt like all my "good works" were in vain because I was never going to make it to paradise anyway, because god just couldn't love me because god knew I had a bad heart. I just wanted to cause problems for the organization. Certainly my trying to talk about it was not because it may have been a legitimate cry for help. I knew I didn't want to cause a problem, I just wanted to be acknowleged, heard, comforted, helped. After years of being "shut up" I even began to think that I imagined the abuse.

It took over 20 years to start to seriously trust my own memories and feelings. What a liberation it was to finally speak openly and truthfully about what happened, feel believed, and NOT judged like it was somehow YOUR fault the abuse happened. I hope you get the same relief from finally speaking.

((((HUGS))))

Rose

54

Homosexuality What the Bible Really Says...

by EvilForce in

to all my very patient friends out there thank for your support here.

over many threads i have argued and posted on what various indivdual versus in the bible say.

to put it all together i decided to create it's own topic thread so it could be referred back to in the future.

misguided

Thank you, EF. I often thought about 2 Samuel 1:26, and what that really meant. I recall asking about Lot's giving his Virgin daughters to the men, and the answer I was given was that the homosexual act was viewed so badly by Jehovah, that Lot would rather have his virgin daughters given to the men. I never could quite grasp the logic in that. Your explanation makes much more sense to me.

Thank you.

Rose

If god is against homosexuality, why are my kids' 2 male guinea pigs frequently looking like they're trying to do it? It's obviously a "natural" thing.

22

Changes in the DANIEL'S PROPHECY book

by observador in

i have been told that a number of changes has been made to the daniel's prophecy book between the first edition (or printing) and the latest edition of it.

the funny thing is that these changes are inconsistent among the media (paper book and editions of the wt lib cd).. so, if you get the daniel's prophecy book you have in your home and compare it to wt lib cd 2004, you will only be able to confirm some of these changes.

case 1: p. 101, line 1:.

misguided

Observador

The Pay Attention to Daniel's Prophecy book I have is the first printing:

Page 101, Line 1 reads: "in over a thousand years"

Page 151, Picture caption reads: "Bas-relief at Pasargadae, depicting Cyrus"

Page 179, Box, Line 7 reads: "the small horn that came forth from one of the four horns?"

Page 195, Par. 27, Lines 6,7 reads: "That sacrifice annointed, or set apart,"

Page 247, Par. 27, Line 2, reads: "that Britain"

Page 275, Par. 10, Lines 4-6 reads: "However, the Aramaic equivalent of the word here translated "until" appears in the Aramaic text of Daniel 7:25 and there means "during" or "for." Hence,..."

Page 275, Par. 10, Lines 10, 11 reads: "at "the time appointed" by"

Page 310, Par. 9, Lines 10, 11 reads: "(Daniel 9:20-21)"

I don't have any later editions with which to compare these to, though.

Rose

25

Kwintestal in the news (video online)

by Jourles in

.

kwin can be seen here.. the file size is 407kb.

actual footage time is around a minute.

misguided

Wow, Kwin, thank you for your courage in bringing your story to the news!

If only all of us had the ability to bring ourselves to go public as you have. I think you are a pioneer....clearing the roadway for other abuse survivors to follow your lead.

Rose

17

What should I do?

by misguided in

when my youngest son came home from his weekend with his father, i realized it would soon be july, and my ex has a 10-day access period specified for july, and i thought i'd better write it on the calendar.

while doing this, my son tells me he's going to go somewhere with his dad, but he's not allowed to tell me.

i said to him, "hey, bud, you've got to tell me.

misguided

My son is 7, but due to complications during pregnancy, he's only at about a 5 year old level, mentally. There is a "no contact order" in place, as my ex was convicted of threatening us (I think I posted a portion of the sentencing report somewhere here before) so, yes, communication is a problem.

I know if I went to the district assembly myself, with the court order in hand and found them there, the police would apprehend the child right there. It's a serious thing to breach a court order with respect to access. So serious, they don't give such orders very often, only in cases where they think there is a threat to the child.

I just don't know if it's in my child's best interest to make a big deal out of it.

Rose

17

What should I do?

by misguided in

when my youngest son came home from his weekend with his father, i realized it would soon be july, and my ex has a 10-day access period specified for july, and i thought i'd better write it on the calendar.

while doing this, my son tells me he's going to go somewhere with his dad, but he's not allowed to tell me.

i said to him, "hey, bud, you've got to tell me.

misguided

When my youngest son came home from his weekend with his father, I realized it would soon be July, and my ex has a 10-day access period specified for July, and I thought I'd better write it on the calendar.

While doing this, my son tells me he's going to go somewhere with his dad, but he's not allowed to tell me. I said to him, "Hey, bud, you've got to tell me." He says, "okay, we're going to Kamloops." I sort of guessed that since that's where the district assembly is. I didn't make any sort of deal out of what he told me, because I want him to not fear telling me things.

The thing is, the court order states that my ex is not supposed to take my son more than 100 km radius from my home. Kamloops is 150 km from our home. Do you think it's a case of theocratic warfare? What should I do? I don't want to upset my son, either.

Rose

103

How many of you are childfree by choice?

by rebel8 in

by that, i mean you do not want to have children.. i have been told since birth it would not be safe for me to have children, so i never even considered it.

i never went through a grieving period because the concept of having babies was not something i once had and lost.

i always envisioned myself as a happy career woman.. i recently married and am still sure i don't want children.

misguided

6 kids

single mom

dodge mini-van

suburban home, yard work, maintenance

work, paper routes every morning, school functions, social functions, etc

a minimum of 3 loads of laundry a day

groceries to buy

endless meals to prepare

no child support

Why would anyone in their right mind want my life?

Yet, I'm amazingly content. I have a sense of purpose in my life. I work hard. I see rewards for my hard work. There are ups, and there are downs. I see them developing their talents, their indiviuality, their strengths, their weaknesess. I feel proud. I feel loved. I feel so very special when they want me to be around. I enjoy their company. It's an amazing experience.

Do I feel guilty for overpopulating the planet? Sometimes. But then I think - which one(s) would I choose not to have had? Do I respect those who make a different choice? Absolutely. Sometimes I wish I were them. It's a huge responsibility. It's work that's never complete.

Today, I'm exhausted, but fulfilled. Did I feel that way 10 years ago? NO! I would never want to do it over again. Will I still feel this way in the future? Hopefully. For me, today, I'm glad I took the risk. But, for those of you who choose not to have children, I can honestly say, I think it's a respectable choice.

Rose (of the glad I did, but wish I didn't class)

50

Bi-Sexual

by misguided in

i guess my new-found freedom of personal expression is working its way down to my kids.. i came home from a crazy day at work, ate my dinner, was loading the dishwasher, when my 13-year-old son says, .

"mom, i have something to tell you - i'm bisexual...i've been that way for a year now.

i still can't help but have my old jw brain at work, thinking this is not okay - kind of like, i'm an apostate with a bisexual son...what will my family say?!

misguided

I'd like to thank each and every one of you who posted on this thread for your supportive, insightful answers. I'm sorry it took me so long to get back to the board (long day at work, and then a school function I had to attend.)

After darkuncle29 cleared my head enough to realize this isn't about me, it's about my son. From many of your comments it became clear that I SHOULD ask him if he's had sex. So, I did. The conversation sort of ensued in this way. He came in to give me my "good-night" kiss, so I took the opportunity and asked him. He said "no." So then I asked him if he'd tell me if he had. He kind of looked at me reluctantly and said, "well you'd kill me if I had." I said he'd just told me he was bisexual, and I think that kind of "took the cake." (I said it in a kind tone, and with a smile on my face.) So I asked him again, and he said "no." He then went on to say, "Don't you think it would have been worse if I told you I was on Crystal Meth?" I agreed, that would definatly be worse.

So then I asked him how he knew he was bisexual if he'd never had sex. He said, "it's hard to explain, mom." My gut tells me he's setting me up, and that he will ultimately sway to the homosexual side. He asked if I was disappointed. I said that I wasn't. It's just that I know that it's not an easy life with some people's views toward homosexuality, including that of our mostly JW family.

This morning when we got up, I kept it like any other morning. He asked about that. I said that nothing's really changed. He's the same person he was yesterday when we got up, and that I love him as much today as I loved him yesterday. What he told me doesn't change how I feel about him. He seemed content with that.

they have probably been calling him 'gay' at school for years

Even his sisters, who are now quite supportive of him, have been calling him "girlie-man" for years.

Google on keywords "puberty" "bisexuality"

Thank you Richard, Great idea, and I'm going to do that. (From the "duh - why didn't I think of that" class).

Get some male influence in his life

That may be a great idea. His dad left when he was 18 months old and hasn't been around much since. When his father does come around, it's hard for him to look up to him. He usually lives in Calgary, and is a drug abuser. During his last visit here to see his kids, he spent 2 weeks on the psych ward. Then there was his idiot step-father (still involved with the JW's) who was physically abusive to him. He got a 3 month sentence and 1 year probation for threatening us. I have another son from that marriage. He's 8, but is mentally challenged in the "mild" range. My older son is so good to him. However, I don't think he's ever going to have a "brother" relationship with him in the "normal" sense of the term. He's really had no good male input in his life. But like Evil Force says, it probably won't change his sexuality - whichever way he may go.

he MAY have had the experience with an OLDER man( pedifile( spelt wrong) He may be TRYING to disguss it with you.

Mouthy, I have discussed this with him. I'm very diligent when it comes to this sort of thing. I was abused by "brothers" (including an elder) so I am very cautious and always ask questions.

and lastly,