I started college 2 years after high school, a year after I was d'fd. A wonderful counselor at the college helped me get financial aid and a part-time job. (At that point I had no job, no money, and no home. Long story, I'll spare you the details.) I 'll never forget her - she was very compassionate and saw a lot of potential in me. She set the stage for my success in college and in life. I remember my first experiences in college - I was so paranoid about worldly college students (even though I was a worldly disfellowshipped person at the time) - I remember literally shaking when I walked through the dorms, thinking I would be attacked or raped. I've been out of college now for about 20 years. I still consider it to be one of the best things I've ever done in my life. As a matter of fact, I'm looking forward to going back again when my kids are a little older.
DiscoSandy
JoinedPosts by DiscoSandy
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11
Are you marked for life?
by JH in.
for those who were witnesses, and passed many years there, do you feel as if you are scarred for life by this experience?.
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DiscoSandy
The open wounds have healed but I have plenty of battle scars that I will never get rid of. I want to spend more time helping other people heal their wounds and less time looking at my own scars in the mirror.
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Strangest thing you were called on the carpet for.
by Icansaylucky ini would like to hear some of the strangest or most ridiculous thing you got in trouble with the elders for.
here is mine.. back in the early 70's i was married at the age of 18, typical witness thing to do.
my husband who was 6 years older than i ruled me like a overly strict father.
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DiscoSandy
For having a "seasons greeting" card in my desk drawer at work that I planned to give to a worldly friend. (Gimme a break, at least it wasn't a Christmas card!) I was working for an elder at the time, and he took it upon himself to search through my desk to see if he could find some evidence that I was doing something wrong. He called me into his office, pulled out the card and proceeded to rake me over the coals. I was only 18 at the time and very ashamed of my behavior. Barf.
I was also counseled for going to the sappy Brooke Shields movie Endless Love (rated R - scandalous!) For reading the Bible and studying the Watchtower in bed (my pioneer roommate thought it was unacceptable to read or study in bed - hey it was a great cure for insomnia ! ). For applying for a scholarship to go to college. For accepting a second part time job to supplement my income, so that I could actually afford a car that ran more than 30 miles without breaking down. For being alone in our house with another brother after a bible study. For hanging out with a black brother.
I am thankful that I am out, I am free, and that I and my husband can raise our 3 kids with a different set of values. I cannot imagine putting the chains and shackles of a religious cult on our precious kids.
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Missing the UK
by DiscoSandy inhi all - i've only posted here a couple of times - i'll post my story at some point.
i know quite a few people on this site are from the uk.
i (and my husband / 3 kids) lived in the uk from 2000 - 2002 and returned back to our home in minnesota 4 months ago.
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DiscoSandy
Hi all - I've only posted here a couple of times - I'll post my story at some point. I know quite a few people on this site are from the UK. I (and my husband / 3 kids) lived in the UK from 2000 - 2002 and returned back to our home in Minnesota 4 months ago. I was getting a little misty eyed this morning thinking about jolly good England ! Here are some of the things I miss the most (not necessarily in order of importance):
1) a good curry
2) Eastenders
3) pub lunches (ESPECIALLY drinking a pint at lunch !)
4) saying "bloody" this and "bloody" that
5) being called "lovey"
6) walking in the countryside (I'm a rambler at heart)
7) picking up a paper from the local newsagent
8) a proper pot of tea
9) a good dose of sarcasm
10) okay, I admit it, Graham Norton
I could go on and on. Cheers to my fellow x JWs in the UK ! I'm hoping to travel back to England for a short visit this summer. Maybe I'll be able to meet up with one of you then ?
P.S. I do NOT miss taking the tube during rush hour (I'm only 4'10" so I usually had my head in someone's armpit ! And I also do NOT miss the price of petrol !)
Cheers !
Sandy
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What's The Nicest Thing Anybody's Done For You?
by minimus inis there anything that jumps out at you ?
did a person ever do something that was so thoughtful, that you were overwhelmed by it?
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DiscoSandy
I was disfellowshipped when I was 18 years old. My life was hanging by a thread at the time - I lost my job (I was employed by 2 elders at the time), I lost my apartment (I had shared it with a pioneer sister), my family rejected me, and I had no means of transportation (I had purchased a junk car from a ministerial servant about a month before I was disfellowshipped - it broke down shortly after I purchased it and it was my tough luck). My life could have gone in a number of different directions, but I am THANKFUL TO GOD that he helped me through. I had about $200 in the bank and started doing some temporary jobs so that I could eventually get back on my feet financially. During this time, I decided I really wanted to go back to college. I went to see a college guidance counselor who ended up changing my life. She listened to me, was compassionate, and saw potential in me. She helped me get a scholarship to cover about 1/4 of my tuition. (I had previously turned away scholarship money when I was a JW - she got it all back for me!) She told me to believe in myself and that I could make it through college. On top of that, she was able to help me get a permanent job which would ultimately pay the remaining cost of my college expenses. Her husband was a district court judge, and needed a courtroom assistant at the time. I'll never forget sitting in her office - she called her husband and told him she had found the best assistant he could have. I was the person for the job - I got it without even an interview. What a wonderful lady. I will never forget her. There are so many other wonderful people I could comment about, but she was there at a critical time and helped me start my life over as a non-JW.
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Anyone interested in a Secret Santa gift swap?
by scootergirl ini know..........muffle the groans.
christmas is 3 months away, but i wanted to pass something by you guys and get some input.
i belonged to another forum board awhile back and we did a secret gift swap for the holidays.
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DiscoSandy
Hey - I'm game. Sounds great. I love celebrating Christmas ! By the way Scooter I'll email you offline. Hubby is back now and life is getting back to normal - hopefully we can get together in the next couple of months.
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S. Famodu where are you?
by scootergirl in.
i just got two emails returned......so i figure you must have made your move already!
email me so that i don't lose touch with you!
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DiscoSandy
I'm Here! Just saw your post. Our home email was shut down when we moved back to the US, and I was also having problems with my work email. My new work email address is (xxxxxxx) Email me! I lost your home email address in the process of moving. We MUST get together SOON ! !
Edited by - DiscoSandy on 26 August 2002 16:29:39
Edited by - DiscoSandy on 26 August 2002 16:36:33
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In MY kingdom hall........
by Pistoff inthere will be coffee in the back.
the format for thursday night will rotate, and will include slides, videos, improv talks about subjects speakers choose.
women will be elders and ms's......if they can be kings and priests with jesus, that's good enough for me; paul might not like it but he will get used to it.
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DiscoSandy
In addition to the other great ideas already posted, we would CELEBRATE,CELEBRATE,CELEBRATE:
- Baby dedication service for newborns
- Recognition service for high school and college graduates
- Massive Christmas celebration (carol service, children's play, etc.)
- Mothers and Fathers day service with special messages for moms and dads
- Recognize birthdays! Especially ones that end in zero, they deserve a round of applause at least !
AND we would SUPPORT, SUPPORT,SUPPORT
- Support groups for single parents, elderly, any other group that may have special needs or concerns
- Special prayer services for open prayer, women and children given equal opportunity to pray openly!
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JW Abuse on BBC News !
by Simon in.
details of the panorama programme "child abuse within the jehovahs witness religion" were just announced at the start of the main bbc news at 10:00 !.
correct me if i'm wrong but i can't remember them ever doing that for other programmes (although we may not have paid so much attention before).. they showed a clip of people being baptised at a dc ... very 'whacko' looking.
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DiscoSandy
Hey - just saw the Panorama show on BBC - IT WAS EXCELLENT! I admire the courage of the victims who were interviewed on camera. (Isn't it amazing that none of the JW leadership agreed to an on-camera interview . . HMMM . . . COWARDS AND HYPOCRITES!)
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Would you forget it ALL if you could?
by Perfection Seeker inif you could "bump your head" and forget all the crap that came with being a witness, would you?
but, in some way, i think i have grown from the experience & have learned from it, and it has made me be a better personl, less judgemental, more tolerant, more open.
but, if there was a magic pill to erase it- hmm......hell yes i'd do it!
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DiscoSandy
I'm a new poster (this is my first message!) - have been out for about 20 years (left when I was 18). A few years ago I would have said, YES, YES, let me forget my entire past. I spent a large part of my life trying to run away from my JW upbringing and dysfunctional family. But now I'm finally at the point where I'm accepting my life for what it is, and realizing that my bittersweet past does have some sweet in it. Bear in mind it took me 20 years to reach this - I'm a bit slow on the learning curve I guess!