the lady on the phone told me that if i could get to chicago in time for a 1 pm flight i could still make it to nh that day.
if one has strong faith in ones faith, he should not fear other belief systems.
may have killed the cat; more likely .
So good to have you back on the forum! You express yourself so well, I always enjoy your contributions and thought processes! Glad to hear things are going mostly well in your world....and that you are managing to keep some family relationships and finding new ones! Hope we hear from you more often! I don't post here often, but you are one of the few I've talked privately with and have appreciated the thesis paper you sent me....take care.
bythesea
i'm so drained emotionally from it but i did it.
i learned a few days ago through her ex worldly boyfriend that she had told him she tries to email me but i don't answer, she called me and i hung up (all things she has done tome in the past 9 months that i have been trying to get in touch with her).
she told him i had gone crazy and moved to italy and no one knew where i was and i was not talking to my jw mom anymore ( i moved to italy for almost 3 years to work, study and learn italian and my mom is not a jw!!!!!!
Hi 4digit...I haven't read any of your previous posts, so don't know your own standing with the WTS, but if you are baptized and now are just inactive or trying to fade then you took a very risky step in presenting what you did to your friends...it could come back to bite you in the butt if they go to elders with your letters.
Was it ok to tell your friends what you did??? The truth of matters is always a good thing, but sometimes the timing of sharing that information is crucial. I understand you wanting to "save" your dear friends and to educate them as to the hidden facts behind their faith. I've gone rounds with myself as to whether I should do the same thing...but I KNOW that it won't be accepted as anything more than rantings of an apostate and at first glance it will be ditched and they will stop having any more to do with me...so I stay silent and try to drop more subtle ideas that will make them think... Its the difference between being fed little nibbles of pie and having the whole thing shoved in one's face. JW's are so programmed to avoid any hint of criticism of their faith, anything that smacks of apostacy, that your friends, if still believers, will probably figure you have gone off the deep end...or gone over to the Dark Side..... The
The best you can hope for is that, if they read the entirety of what you wrote, that seeds will have been planted....or that if they are unhappy enough in their faith that they will now know that if the time comes when they can bring themselves to question their religion that they know they can approach you. Time will tell....
<!-- .style1 { font-family: arial; font-size: 18px; color: #cc9966; } .style2 { font-family: arial; font-size: 16px; color: #cc9966; } .style3 { font-family: verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; } --> how important is it for both of you to have the same beliefs?in the organization, we were encouraged to marry only in the lord, because this would.
strengthen and preserve our faith.
however, once an individual steps away from that .
Good Morning, Wanderer....another good question from you!
At this point I'd have to answer that by NOT having the same beliefs any longer that it is having a detrimental affect on my marriage. Altho it is just my belief system internally that has changed, and not much outside is different(I even still go to some meetings), my hubby feels I have created a divided household. I don't feel it necessary for us to share the same beliefs, but he does. While I no longer believe much of what the JW's teach I still will live my life with christian values and I have a renewed appreciation for being alive and for the Creator. I sometimes see him as being religious and me being spiritual, but not sure if the real definitions are accurate. I'd be happy with him remaining a JW if he'd quit trying to make me be one again too!
I will be interested in reading all the responses to this question! Thanks for posting it!
Bythesea
my dear friend's 34 year old son recently was found dead by a girlfriend after calling him repeatedly and never getting a call back.
meanwhile my friend was on his way back from florida when he got the awful news.
he asked me for some encouraging scriptures to share with him for some consolation.
Minimus....This is a hard one, I know, but since your friend is looking to you for some support then the best thing you can do is just be therefor him....as that friend. Let him talk...listen to him from your heart....call often and check on how he's doing, give him opportunites to unload all the stuff he will need to get out...regrets, guilt maybe over some things, anger at the whole thing...he will experience many emotions and they will all need some form of expression. Mostly he needs to talk it out, and you can be that sounding board for him. Be patient with him, grief takes a long time to go through, and I imagine especially so when its a child...it seems very unnatural for our children to die before we do!
He will also need to mourn...grief and mourning are not the same thing. Grief is a term for the thoughts and feelings that are experienced with oneself upon the death of someone loved....it's the internal meaning given to the experience of bereavement. Mourning is taking the internal experience of grief and expressing it outside of oneself....its the grief gone public or sharing one's grief outside of oneself. Both are necessary in order to work through one's grief so that it doesn't become baggage one carry's around the rest of one's life. You can help your friend find ways to express his grief...give him that safe place to go to...go with him.
In our culture men have a harder time in expressing their feelings on most things, and grief is no different.... He may be looking for some sort of spiritual help from you which you can't give honestly, but you can help him to give meaning to the life his son lived even if you don't have answers for the future life expectancy as in a resurrection or any of that stuff.
I'd suggest grief counseling, but as a JW he probably won't go....they are they're own support group for that. I am currently going to counseling for the death of a parent 17 yrs ago because I wasn't allowed to grieve or mourn properly at the time of their death, largely due to the fact that since my parent wasn't a JW then no one felt I should be grieving since they would be resurrected and I'd see them in the new system.... I hope your friend doesn't fall into that trap! I have lots of material I can send you to help your friend with if you're interested...PM me if I can help with that. Also, if you have a local hospice then they also provide reading materials for helping people through their bereavement process.
Mainly just be there for him.....
Bythesea
yep.
after she spent 25 years in the troof she finaly has come to realize that the org.
is a cult.
Great News, WAC!!!! Please let us know how it was accomplished, as so many of us also have loved ones we'd like to get out!!!
I'm so happy for you!!!! And for HER!!!!!
bythesea
then the end will come.compare matthew 10:23.. how you can start a bible study.
how is this done?matthew 24:45-47; luke 12:42.. *** w05 8/15 p. 22 par.
[picture on page 29] what can you do to direct the student's attention to the bible?.
Excellent comments, as usual, Blondie. Since I am allowing myself to be forced back to some meetings I will be reading your comments with even more attention....maybe put some comments in my side margins for use with the hubby!
As for orchids....our poster Going Going Gone is orchid grower extrordinairre!!! I recently received some awesome pics of some she has blooming, I believe she has about 100 or so!!! She has helped me revive the one orchid I have, so I would suggest you contact her and she can answer your questions about them! Plus, she's just a great person!!!
Look forward to all your posts, Blondie!!
bythesea
dear friends,.
i am taking some time away from posting.
i don't really know if or when i will be back.
Lil, I am sorry to hear that you won't be on the forum for awhile...I have always looked forward to your input on subjects! And want to thank you again for responding to my recent requests for help with my husband....I do have your personal email and will keep it handy!
The best to you in moving on, finding a group in which you can have face to face discussions and that will give you what you need and in which you can share spiritually and be challenged. I think that is important too.
I hope we will see you back here from time to time..... bythesea
my story is sub-titled so you can skip ahead to parts that interest you most.. by way of reminder, my posting on "faith in god and the church" is not meant to convert anyone, because i have been out of the preaching business now for 14-years.
i am sharing my views given the questions i get when i do post about belief in god or my association with the catholic church.. why the catholic church?
protestants, especially fundamentalists and evangelicals have a hard spot with the roman catholic church.
Jim, thank you so much for sharing your story with us. I was moved to tears as you recounted your experience of your first confession with the priest after so many years away...I am not Catholic, cannot relate to it in any fashion personally, but your ability to relate the changes you felt, your relief at feeling as tho you had finally "come home" were indeed moving to me.
I have read your entire story from exjw site, it was one of the first things I came across as I began my own search online and perhaps because we have trod so much of the same physical territory in Oregon I have tried to keep up with your posts here at JWD and on Channel C to see what has become of you! I am so happy to know that you are finding peace with the Church and able to see things as they truly are in regards to its failures and sins. I wish nothing but the best for you. And I greatly appreciate the amount of research you have done and that we can in some small way benefit from it. God bless......
bythesea
a post on another topic got me thinking of this .
what was the longest bible study you knew of ???.
i knew a couple of pioneer sisters who had studies that lasted about 6 years, maybe they were longer...............they never came to the meetings and when i accompanied a sister on hers.
Vitty...my own bible study lasted almost 6 yrs, which is longer than I've known anyone elses to be...until reading above that others have been as long too! My teacher was an elder's wife...a very timid shy thing who made the study excrutiating to sit through...I was always glad when she brought other sisters with her so I had someone to relate to! To question anything in the books flustered her so that I quickly decided to just agree and go along rather than rattle her with questions... which is one of the reasons it probably took me so long to decide to be baptized....
During that 6 yrs we went through so many books and finally just were studying the WT lessons together. I had started going to meetings after a couple of years, joined the school, was an unbaptized publisher for a couple of yrs before getting dunked....and far as I know I have been her only "success" story. Think of all the hours she got to count on me for that long!!
only about 15 minutes ago, i learned that my father died up the hospital this morning.
((((((((((((((((((((badboy))))))))))))))))))))))))))) So sorry for your loss. I hope you and your family are receiving love and support during this sad time.
bythesea
