Englishman, I would like to send you and your mum my condolences, it is a special day - a day to remember that your father lived, and it's a good thing to mourn his passing.
Frenchy, I was touched by your example of Jesus grieving for a loved one - I felt sad just reading the experience and it brought joy to my heart to know that this is normal and good.
I once attended a funeral of a "worldly" person whose JW sister arranged for an elder to conduct the sevices. The sister was the ONLY member of that family who knew JW teachings - as a result the services were very distressing to the family, imagine how they felt when they heard:
1) She isn't in heaven
2) None of you will ever go to heaven
3) She will return one day, but unless you change your ways you'll never see her again
4) When you die there is no after life, just non-existence
5) God only loves those who are JW's - you will all soon be destroyed
This was how he conducted the funeral, I was the only other person in the room who knew what he was talking about, and even as a faithful witness I thought he was wrong to do this to a family who just lost a loved one - this is NOT the time to preach, it is a time to comfort, and JW's dont know how to do that for anyone else but themselves.
larc, it was your post that urged me to relay this experience. I hope these examples are a comfort to those who have lost someone and weren't allowed to grieve - it's okay to feel sorrow, even years later.
(no longer) conflicted