Thank you all for the kind words and support. I will try my best to do what I have to do. For the poster who can't find the Awakening, just look for it by clicking on my name and going to Topics and you'll find it.
Posts by Cygnus
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33What Is The Purpose Of Life? - please read if you care about me
by Cygnus inthese last 2 months have been the worst of my life.
i can only answer my subject question by saying the purpose of life is the 4 things sought after in the wizard of oz: love, courage, intelligence, and home.. and we all possess them whether we know it or not.
and especially love.
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33
What Is The Purpose Of Life? - please read if you care about me
by Cygnus inthese last 2 months have been the worst of my life.
i can only answer my subject question by saying the purpose of life is the 4 things sought after in the wizard of oz: love, courage, intelligence, and home.. and we all possess them whether we know it or not.
and especially love.
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Cygnus
Also, may I recommend William Shatner's record from last year called "Has Been". He co-wrote it with Ben Folds and it also features Aimee Mann, Joe Jackson, Henry Rollins, and others. One song says in its lyrics, "LIVE LIFE, like you're gonna die..... cause you're gonna. Maybe you won't suffer, maybe it'll be quick, but you'll have time to think, 'Is this all there was? What was all the fuss? Why did I bother? Why did I waste it? Why didn't I taste it?'... You'll have time."
I don't want to think that when I die. It's an excellent record. Go to http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B0002RUPH4/qid=1115171490/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/002-4451454-6110421?v=glance&s=music and read the reviews. Then buy it. It's worth every penny. It's worth a 100 dollars. It will really make you think when you hear a 73 year old man spill his guts.
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33
What Is The Purpose Of Life? - please read if you care about me
by Cygnus inthese last 2 months have been the worst of my life.
i can only answer my subject question by saying the purpose of life is the 4 things sought after in the wizard of oz: love, courage, intelligence, and home.. and we all possess them whether we know it or not.
and especially love.
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Cygnus
What is going on is I am 33 years old, I have physical ailments since my open heart surgery 2 1/2 years ago that make me feel 80, I have severe mental depression, anger, you name it. I have abused narcotics (pain pills, nothing worse, not cocaine or heroin but pain pills are bad enough) and I am going into rehab tomorrow. I have had serious suicidal thoughts recently. I need tons of help. And it's time to get professional help beyond therapy one hour a week (which helps, but isn't enough). I want my life back. I have been on antidepressants for 2 years but they don't help, not yet anyway. It's time to get on living or get on dying. I want the former. So I posted just to let my friends know I am at least trying. And if I disappear I am not dead, just doing whatever the rehab/mental hospital satellite office tells me I have to do. Life is so depressing when not on drugs. I need to kick the drugs, the painkillers, and get on living without them. So far I have not been honest with myself or anyone else for fear of ridicule or embarrassment. I don't care anymore. I would have been dead 40 years ago with my heart ailment. 20 years ago they would have given me a 50/50 chance at surgery. So I'm lucky just to be here. I don't want to kill myself but I think about it a lot. So please be kind to me and have patience. Some of you have known me for over 8 years. Please be nice and understanding, as you always have been, like when you helped me get out of the Witnesses. I'll say more if I have to... tonight. I go to rehab tomorrow morning.
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25
Have You Ever Had Any Weird Dreams???
by minimus inlast night i had a dream that a former (stupid) elder called me at 6 a.m. to tell me that he wanted to let me know that he was calling for the body of elders, that they asked him to call me to get together and answer some questions.
i said, "and you're calling me at 6 in the morning?
why???
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Cygnus
One study I read recently suggests our "reality" is something like 80 percent experience, and 20 percent observation. That's what helps separates us from animals. That and the ability to think ahead and rationalize. I have weird dreams all the time. Dreams about past loves. Dreams about people I met in the psych ward i spent 3 days in recently. Dreams about my family. Dreams about Armageddon and people I knew from high school, and how they are going to die. And i frantically try to get them to go the right way at the last minute. I dream about catastrophic floods. I am the master at weird dreams. I could post for hours about my dreams but I would just bore you guys. My therapist loves it though.
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83
Should Intelligent Design be taught in schools?
by AlmostAtheist inkansas is holding a debate to decide.
http://www.cnn.com/2005/education/05/02/life.evolution.reut/index.html.
topeka, kansas (reuters) -- evolution is going on trial in kansas.. eighty years after a famed courtroom battle in tennessee pitted religious beliefs about the origins of life against the theories of british scientist charles darwin, kansas is holding its own hearings on what school children should be taught about how life on earth began.. the kansas board of education has scheduled six days of courtroom-style hearings to begin thursday in topeka.
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Cygnus
In my ninth-grade biology class, my teacher, Mr. Feckham (who would smoke cigars in the bio lab hehehe) got real close to the class and I'll never forget his words. He said, to wit: "Some people will try to tell you we got here by creation. BULLSHlT. Evolution is the truth."
At the time I was a young JW and wanted to sock him in his alcoholic red nose, but now I know he was right. He's probably dead now. I say teach the kids ID,then do what my 9th grade teacher said - call it BULLSHlT.
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14
went to assembly past weekend lol
by JE1234 inwent to an assembly this past saturday.
reason why i went cause my mother in law was baptized so the rest of us non believers went for moral support.
it was in the "famous stanley theater" in nj that i heard so much about growing up, my mother was so happy even thou i went, watched baptizm, ate with my inlaws, and was out like a bolt of lightning lol.
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Cygnus
How did you make it through all those boring, repititious talks without some booze or klonopin or something?
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33
What Is The Purpose Of Life? - please read if you care about me
by Cygnus inthese last 2 months have been the worst of my life.
i can only answer my subject question by saying the purpose of life is the 4 things sought after in the wizard of oz: love, courage, intelligence, and home.. and we all possess them whether we know it or not.
and especially love.
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Cygnus
These last 2 months have been the worst of my life. I can only answer my subject question by saying the purpose of life is the 4 things sought after in The Wizard Of Oz: Love, Courage, Intelligence, and Home.
And we all possess them whether we know it or not. And especially Love. For a person is judged not by how he loves others, but how much he is loved by others. And I feel so much love. Thank you SO MUCH, I am eternally grateful, to everyone who might read this and know me and who have shared their love with me.
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24
FAMOUS JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES
by Outaservice in.
back in the 50's there was a world welterweight fighter from cuba named 'kid gavilin' that became one of jehovah's witnesses.
the society wanted to get a little mileage out of his fame and have him write his life story for the 'awake' magazine, but he was too 'punch drunk' to do so.. there is a web site all about famous jw's @ www.adherents.com/largecom/fam_jw.html where you can check out many more.. outaservice (too famous to mention)
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Cygnus
Roy Harper kinda surprised me.
They left out Sam Perkins, longtime NBA "star".. played for something like 16 years.
I hear Venus and Serena are going to be starting their own "Reality" show. Wonder how much JWs will be mentioned. I think there are a lot more than aren't on that list but it's late and I am beat.
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8
The Awakening
by Cygnus inas many of you know, i have had some severe emotional issues the last couple of months.
repression from growing up jw and being so damned responsible for all my years and setting aside emotions....... now the emotions are finally kicking their way through the door and coming out with a vengeance.
i found a piece on a website devoted to anti-depressants and i normally don't do this but i thought i would share it with the board.
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Cygnus
As many of you know, I have had some severe emotional issues the last couple of months. Repression from growing up JW and being so damned responsible for all my years and setting aside emotions....... now the emotions are finally kicking their way through the door and coming out with a vengeance. I found a piece on a website devoted to anti-depressants and I normally don't do this but I thought I would share it with the board. Almost like the emails our old friend JanG used to send us. Here it is:
-------- THE AWAKENING--------
The time always comes - in each and every life - when we finally 'get' it - when in the midst of all our fears and irrationality, the voice inside us cries ENOUGH! Enough fighting, crying, and struggling to just hold on. Sobs begin to subside, we shudder once or twice, blink back the tears, and begin to look at the world through new eyes. This is The Awakening.
Oftentimes we are slow to accept that any guarantee of 'happily ever after' must begin with US - YOU. And you stop waiting and hoping for something to change - for happiness and security to come galloping over the horizon. A new you starts to evolve, and you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself. You realize that not everyone will appreciate or approve of who or what you are...and it's OK. They are entitled to their own views and opinions.
You stop complaining and blaming others for the things they did to you, or didnt do for you. You stop judging and begin to overlook people's shortcomings - and that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say - that not everyone will always be there for you, and that it's not always about you. So you learn to stand on your own and take better care of yourself.
You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you, is a result of all the messages and opinions that have been engrained into your psyche. You begin to sift through all you've been fed for so long - how you should behave, how you should look, how much you should weigh, what you should wear, where you should shop, what you should drive, how and where you should live, what you should do for a living, who you should sleep with, who you should marry, the importance of having and raising children, or what you owe your parents. You open up to new worlds and different points of view, and start redefining who you are and what you really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing, and begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with. You learn to go with your instincts - to distinguish guilt from responsibility, and realize the importance of setting boundaries and saying NO.
The meaning of romantic and familial love becomes more clear - how to love, how much to give, when to stop giving, when to walk away - and that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, or more lovable, because of the man or woman on your arm, or the child who bears your name. You learn to see your relationship as it really is - not as you want it to be. And "alone" does NOT mean 'lonely'.
You look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you may never be a size 5 or a perfect 10, and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head and agonizing over how you "stack up." You finally stop putting feelings aside to smooth things over. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK - that it is your right to want the things that you want. And sometimes it is necessary to make demands.
You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity, and respect, and you will not settle for less. You allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you, to glorify you with his or her touch... and in the process you internalize the meaning of
self-respect. Then, what follows is a realization that your body really is your
temple. You begin eating a
balanced diet, drinking more water, and taking more time to exercise. Since you have learnd that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear, you take more time to rest. And just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels the soul. So you find a way to make laughter a bigger part of your life.You learn that in life you get what you believe you deserve - that much of life is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You learn that anything worth achieving requires work - that wishing for something to happen is different from working toward making it happen - and that to achieve success, you need direction, discipline, and perserverance. No one can do it all alone and it's OK to ask for help.
You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time: fear itself. You learn to STEP INTO AND THROUGH YOUR ANXIETY AND FEARS, because you really know in your heart and soul that there is nothing you can't handle. To give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your terms, with dignity. So you realize that you cannot continue to squander your life away by living under a cloud of impending doom.
You realize that life isn't always fair and that you don't always get what you think you deserve - that negative feelings such as anger, envy, jealousy and resentment, must be understood and redirected before they squeeze the life out of you and poison everything around you.
You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls - to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things that we take for granted - things that millions of people upon the planet can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a hot shower.
Slowly you begin to take responsibility for yourself, and you pledge that you will never betray yourself again, or settle for less than your heart's desire. You hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind. It helps you keep smiling, trusting, and staying open to every wonderful possibility.
Finally, with renewed spirit, courage, and strength, and with [your] God by your side, you take a deep breath and begin designing the life you've always wanted to live - as best as you can.
Godspeed!
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5
Evolution Again
by Kenneson incheck out the article entitled "brave new schools.
darwin-only challenger libel.
parent says 'evolution spokeswoman' trying to discredit effort" at.
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Cygnus
A lot of Alan's stuff as well as JanH's and others' could be found here http://www.geocities.com/osarsif/index2.htm
I dunno how well that site is operating any longer.
BTW, Jim W. it's great to see you still alive and kicking with resolve and energy. Wish I had some of yours. I wish someday you could call my dad and talk to him on the phone when he's up to it. He is 60, hasn't been to a JW meeting in almost 5 years because he can't take it anymore but is desperately trying to hang on to a belief in Jesus. I think you'd be perfect to help him a bit if you're willing and I can get him to talk to somebody. He is in very distraught spirits although you'd never know it if you talked to him, he puts on a good front.