Dear dear ((((never too late)))). If only I could go through cyberspace and give you a great big hug!!
The way you have been able to express yourself in this post is amazing, especially in a language which is not your first language. I started reading and was just transfixed! You have such a fighting spirit. Against all odds you have extracted yourself from a cult (many never achieve this), gained a university education, lived in a foreign country….
Your traumatic upbringing has taken its toll but with your strength and intelligence, I have no doubt that you can get through this.
With help and understanding you can arm yourself with the skills needed to achieve emotional balance (ie they are skills which can be learned). Some professional counselling from the right person would be ideal to help fast track your recovery but if this is hard to find you can get help from –
This website – there’s some really good help here because specific problems associated with growing up as a JW are discussed. Posting and getting feedback from others can be very helpful. You get to know other posters and they can become your ‘cyber friends’. There’s humour on this site too – laughter is good for you, as you’ve already found out.
Other websites (such as www.panicanxietydisorder.org.au).
Self-help books (but remember a book is just another person’s view – you might have to search to find what’s right for you).
Regarding contact with your family. Your brothers and sister have grown up in the same family. Could you get to know them better? You might be able to help each other. As for your father – it’s hard to reason with a totally dedicated JW. But he too is a product of JW brainwashing. That doesn’t mean you have to subject yourself to his abuse and I’d be steering clear. You have to protect yourself!!
Good luck, never too late. Hopefully you’ll have access to the internet in Spain – let us know how you get on.
penny2
