Being a christian - I don't believe abortion or suicide is right. However - I feel more strongly that it is wrong for me to dictate to another person their rights over their own life. I'm against abortion because the child has no say. But suicide is a choice made by an individual who DOES have a say - it is their choice. When someone is facing a terminal illness and unbearable pain - who am I to tell them they have to suffer through it? I don't own their life or have any rights over it.
Posts by Dawn
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8Right to die
by onacruse inso, now we embark on yet another chapter of the legal battle about whether a person has the right to terminate their human life, with the approval and assistance of medical professionals who are otherwise sworn to preserve life.. oregon is the only state in the united states with such a law (physician-assisted suicide, as so called), though many other countries recognize this act as a fundamental right; and this law, passed by a considerable majority of voters in this state, is now up for review, and very possible rejection, by the obviously conservative and religiously right-leaning supreme court of the us, with a new leader hand-picked by...well, let's not go there.
for myself, i have no hesitation whatsoever: if i'm faced with the virtual inevitability of suffering a prolonged and painful death, versus a relatively painless and reasonably quiet termination, at my own hands, with those i love, then god-damn anybody who would stand between me and the right i have over my body.. what do you think?.
ps: i post this in friends...perhaps it should be in another section?
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Does anyone feel like me???... am I obsessed.
by zagor ini don't know if something is wrong with me or with entire setup of things.
i mean every time i think about wtbs i get angry and frustrated which is beyond the reason.
and most interesting part is i'm not getting any better, looks like i'm going nuts every time somebody mention anything even remotely related to wtbs.
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Dawn
zagor - I don't know how long it has been since you have been out, but your feelings are valid. However, just acknowleding they are valid is not enough - you need to find a way to deal with them - like LadyLee said. If you don't, they will destroy you.
I know first hand, not only with anger from leaving the JW's, but later on when my brother was killed - I had so much anger - it was causing me problems with my husband and my life.
I went to counseling and it really helped. The counselor helped me find ways to confront the anger both over my JW past and my brother's death. I was eventually able to let most of it go. I'm not perfect, I still feel the anger from time to time. But it no longer hinders my life. So my advice to you is to seek counseling. Not only will it help you - but it will also show your girlfriend that you recognize the situation and that you are taking positive steps to solve it.
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My JW wifes mother has died.
by Gordy ini have just heard today that my wifes mother has died suddenly of a heart attack.
she was either in her late 60's or early 70's.
she was a jw though an inactive one.
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Dawn
Gordy: I think you have gotten a lot of good advice here already. Best advice - do what you feel is best. Look down the road to a year from now - which decision would have been the best one? Only you can decide that.
I know the situation you are in. When my JW-elder father passed away I helped my mother take care of all the funeral arrangements, helped pay for the flowers and burial services, etc. And I went the funeral because I thought I should out of respect for my dad and because my mom wanted me there. It was absolutely one of the worse experiences in my life. To be in so much pain, suffering loss, and then be stomped on by "true christians" who would not speak to me but spent plenty of time staring at us during the memorial service. But years later, I'm glad I made that decision because my son and my mother needed me there.
When my brother (also a JW elder) was killed, same thing. It was out of the country and his daughter (not a JW) called me and asked me to go with her to help take care of the funeral and his belongings. I did. And I went to the service, again "out of respect" - and was asked to leave immediately when it was over and not speak to anyone. Can't you feel the love? Again, just a few years later, I'm glad I made that decision - my neice needed my support.
My mother is quite elderly (in her 70's), and I know the time is coming when I will again be taking care of funeral arrangements. I will take care of the arrangements (she has made me her executor), and make sure she has a memorial service at the KH (she's a faithful JW still) complete with beautiful flowers, pictures of her life, everything she would want. However, unless my son needs me there - I will not go. And I can say that years down the road, I will not regret that decision either.
Bottom line - funerals are for a banding together of the ones left behind. A time to grieve and support each other. If there is noone there that you feel needs your support - it may be best to spare yourself their "love by shunning" - and say goodby to her in your own way.
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Why am I so happy?
by jwfacts insince i stopped going to meetings about six months ago i have been getting happier and happier and don't know why.
i don't know who god is anymore, or if there is an afterlife.
i don't have as many friends as i used to, though i am starting to build new ones.
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Dawn
jwfacts - it's perfectly normal! I have been out for a number of years, and I am truly content now. I eventually moved past the fear of Armageddon and demons. The nightmares stopped. My heart no longer pounds with the "fight or flight" reflex when I run into a JW at the store. Rather than feeling uncomfortable around them now, I just feel pity for them - and at the same time, gratitude that I am free.
"You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free". Regardless of whether you believe in Jesus or not - this quote is very applicable and true. You found out the truth about the "truth" - and that has freed you from that prison that bound you in every way - how to think, what to read, how to feel, even who to love.
Truth is freedom. Enjoy the rest of your life - it only gets better from here
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Real Christians.....
by Honesty in1. were among the first to respond to the tsunami of 2004 and hurricane katrina with food, water, shelter, clothing, comfort, etc.
and provided relief efforts to every person they came in contact with regardless of religious beliefs.. 2. point to jesus as the only source of true happiness in today's world of uncertainty.
3. utilise 'worldly' holidays to focus attention on god's love for mankind.. 4. welcome you in no matter how many tattoos or body piercings you adorn your body with.. 5. pray for everything and at a moment's notice.
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Dawn
Honesty:
Don't use 1,000's of publications to promote themselves as God's voice to mankind
One of my favorite quotes “Preach the gospel at all times. Use words if necessary.” Preaching the gospel through who we are and how we treat others is more powerful than any words we could ever speak.
You must be the change you wish to see in the world. ~Mahatma Ghandi
James Thomas:Many a dedicated Christian would watch smiling as their tiny god killed every other man, woman and child and earth, and then would bow and sing praises to it as the most holy and loving
I do not agree with your assessment. I am a christian, and find no joy at all in the thought of anyone dying. It bothers me so deep in my soul that I struggle from time to time with my faith because I can not reconcile the thought of a God of love who would kill children in a flood, or an ancient war, by egyptian plague, or any other means because they were not born into the right family (aka - religion). This brings me to wonder how much of these things have been blamed on God by an ancient culture in an attempt to explain their world.
Since I have become a Christian I have seen only good things in God. This leads me to wonder how much of this blame really lies with him. After all, it seems everyone is quick to point the finger at God for every bad thing that happens - but he is not the only one involved in this war for our souls.
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Ponderings on facing the afternoon of my life....
by DanTheMan inin november i will turn 35.. i did ok in the morning of life.
i was a pretty happy kid, maybe a little weird but not extremely so.
i got good grades in school, loved my mom like nothing else, never dreamed of getting into trouble.
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Dawn
DanTheMan: I spent the first 24 years of my life as a JW. After I was DF'd, I went through a lot of the same thoughts as you. I had passed up the opportunity for college, missed out on the fun of high school activities, never got to celebrate a holiday. I didn't have the career my highschool friends were now able to pursue, I didn't have much to my name and was working to barely make it paycheck to paycheck. Starting over with no money, no family to help me, no friends.
But after some time I decided rather than looking at the 25 years I lost, I would look ahead to the many years I still had to live. And I was going to make the most of it.
I will turn 40 this year and looking back now I am very glad I took that route. The 15 years since I left have been awesome. I went to college, made new friends, met a great man and married him, and had kids. I have celebrated many holidays now, took up jazz dance, learned to hunt, went mountain climbing for the first time, learned to ice skate, traveled the States and Mexico, and many other things I never would have had the time to do if I was still wasting away at meetings and service.
This next year I'm taking scuba classes, my husband is buying me a dirt bike so he can teach me to ride with him, and we're fixing up an older 70's Mopar so I can join him at the race track. I may have lost the first 25 years, but I have lived more in the last 15 than most JWs live in their lifetime - and I plan to do even more over the next 40!
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Awakenings
by prophecor inbeing infected by wtb&ts propaganda, our intire way in which we relate to the world can often be askewed, especially as it pertains to our relationships.
if we are no longer in the truth, but have yet to come to grips with the fact that there is something amiss in watchtower theology, any relative dealings with people outside of the organization can be tainted with the fears and failures, unresolved from having been in the truth.
we see things from a twisted window of perception.
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Dawn
prophecor: I've been out for a long time now. But I think the best comment about how I have changed since leaving the JW's came just last week from my old boss. I worked for her while I was a JW and during the time I was DF'd - continued to work for her a number of years after that, before moving on to a higher position.
I had not seen her for about 2 years until last week at a birthday party for a mutual friend. After visiting with her a while she gave me a huge hug and told me, in her words "I'm so proud of who you are today. You have grown so much from who you were when I first met you." And then she told me that she has a couple other JW's working for her now and she hopes that some day they will also see their way out of it.
I guess that says it all.
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WT Against Higher Education...Again
by Jeannine inthe october 1, 2005 watchtower slams higher education in a 5 page analysis on why it is better to pioneer than go to college.
i recieved this wt today and i was shocked by the statements in there.
i can fax a copy to anyone who wants it.
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Dawn
On another note - my mom has relayed a few comments the "friends" have made about my son going to college. In her defense - she doesn't tell me to make me feel guilty, she tells me because it ticks her off. She's proud of him and she believes kids should get an education or they can't make a living - she's one of the minority of JW's that feel that way.
I think that those comments come out of jealousy. The people who say those things are the same ones who are working meanial jobs, have kids that are in trouble (some with the elders, some with the police), and the only way to make themselves feel better is to put my son down for going to college and to criticize me for encouraging it. I believe it really ticks them off that after I was DF'd, rather than coming groveling back to them I became living proof of the opposite of all they say will happen if you leave the organization. I returned to college, found and married a terrific guy, have two wonderful kids, a good career, etc.
I guess living a good life and being successful IS the best revenge .
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WT Against Higher Education...Again
by Jeannine inthe october 1, 2005 watchtower slams higher education in a 5 page analysis on why it is better to pioneer than go to college.
i recieved this wt today and i was shocked by the statements in there.
i can fax a copy to anyone who wants it.
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Dawn
I am so glad that I was DF'd and decided not to go back when my son was so young. He's now at a State university studying civil engineering. Getting DF'd was a lucky break both for me, and for my son.
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The Wedding Saga...Episode 2
by Krystal inhow cruel can these people be??.
1) my dad informs me this spring that my sister is getting married.. 2) i am of course not informed of the actual date incase i decide to show up.
3) i am sent a wedding invitation after the wedding has taken place along with a little letter from mom and dad.. 4) i get an e-mail from my mom with the link to the website of wedding photos and gushing dub comments.... "what a lovely family" blah blah blah.
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Dawn
(((Krystal)))
I know how you feel. When my brother was re-married a few years back I was not invited, however, they did ask me to send my son to the wedding. Mind you, it was across country so would cost me a few $$ (plane fare, etc.)
Since my son was a teenager I left the choice up to him and he wanted to go - so I paid his way. I'm glad I took the high road. It paid off. I let them know what bull I thought it all was - but that I was going to act like a CHRISTIAN and not manipulate my son into playing their game.
Recently my brother's daughter also got married. She sent an invitation to the house addressed only to my son. This time he sent it back "REFUSED" - unopened. He made it clear to that he thought it was bull &hit - if his mom and dad weren't invited he wasn't interested in the invitation. It was his choice - one he made by watching both sides of this drama.
It hurts to have your own family treat you like dirt. But stand up for yourself. The bottom line is 2 choices:
(1) they treat you like dirt and you take it - ending up feeling like dirt, or
(2) they treat you like dirt and you throw it back at them - they may open their eyes to it one day and realize, may not, but at least you'll feel proud for standing tall. (And you wont' have dirt on you )
I've been DF'd for 15 years now - so I'm talking from experience. I let them treat me bad for too long. Once I started standing up for myself I got a lot of the same e-mails and letters as you did from your mom - basically blaming ME because I choose not to return to the JWs. But I continued to stick up for myself.
It has paid off. They haven't changed - may never change. What changed is me - I'm proud of me, and I stick up for me, and I don't let them put me down.