looking_glass

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Posts by looking_glass

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  45

  When "friends" let you down...

  by Crumpet in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  have you ever been in a position where you really needed your friends - ie a relationship break down, or some other event and expected your friends to rally and support you.

  only to find that those friends are nowhere to be seen or heard and when you tentatively enquire how they are in the hope for some kind response you get - "oh well you'll get over it.

  " or words to that effect and by email.. i have as you can guess a reason and recent experience of my own that i'll share later, but i wondered how do you handle that?

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  looking_glass

  Well it depends. If they are someone really close to me and there is no reason for them to behave badly, then I would be hurt and express it to them. But some times when we are in the middle of something we are self absorbed and cannot see that other people are also struggling. There are times when I have been stressed from work or sad because of something in my life and I have not been there for people, so I try to remember this when I am going thru something and when certain friends have not been there for me.

  I have a pretty good friend that is extremely selfish. She had a really bad childhood and even though you would think that she would be able to be understanding and sympathetic, she cannot be. I have discussed it with her and she does not feel that she abandons her friends when they are in need. I recognize her limitations and do not go to her when something bad happens. I will share the experience later, but not when I am in the moment.

  If you are good friends w/ this person and they have hurt you, I would say wait for the sting of the hurt to pass and then discuss it with them. You may find out that there was a "reason" they behaved the way they did. It does not excuse the behavior, but it may explain it.

  As humans we are granted leave to make mistakes. L_G of the making mistakes human race.
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  59

  Living Alone - Love it or Loathe it?

  by Crumpet in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  well i have been living alone now for a week for the first time in about 6 years and apart from one or two minor episodes i am really really enjoying the freedom of it.

  i feel like a weight has been lifted.

  i feel free again - a tiny bit lonely at night - but mostly i think i've recaptured that long lost spring in my step.

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  looking_glass

  Crum - yes it is off her latest. There are a number of songs I there I can identify w/. My fav line in the whole song is

  No you can't hop into my shower
  All I ask for is one ***kin' hour
  You taste so sweet
  But I can't eat the same thing every day
  Cuttin off the phone
  Leave me the ***k alone
  Tomorrow I'll be beggin' you to come home

  I have said the first two lines before. Jesus f'ing Christ let me at least take a shower alone.

  And I agree a lot of loneliness has to do w/ how you feel about yourself and if you enjoy your own company. I enjoy hanging out w/ friends but there are times when I feel that my social life is out of control and I have to start saying no to people because I need my time alone. To me there is nothing better then sitting in a quiet room w/ soft music playing and me reading a really good book. Yummy. That is one of my ideal days.

  We are all different, thank goodness for that otherwise the world would be filled with people just like me and heaven help us all if that were the case! I would even hate that!
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  59

  Living Alone - Love it or Loathe it?

  by Crumpet in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  well i have been living alone now for a week for the first time in about 6 years and apart from one or two minor episodes i am really really enjoying the freedom of it.

  i feel like a weight has been lifted.

  i feel free again - a tiny bit lonely at night - but mostly i think i've recaptured that long lost spring in my step.

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  looking_glass

  I always thought this was such a great song, very fitting for those of us who enjoy the company (but only to a certain extent)

  PINK LYRICS "Leave Me Alone (I'm Lonely)"
  
  Go away
  Give me a chance to miss you
  Say goodbye
  It'll make me want to kiss you
  I love you so
  Much more when you're not here
  Watchin all the bad shows
  Drinking all of my beer
  
  I don't believe Adam and Eve
  Spent every goddamn day together
  If you give me some room there will be room enough for two
  
  Tonight
  Leave me alone I'm lonely
  Alone I'm lonely
  I'm tired
  Leave me alone I'm lonely
  Alone I'm lonely tonight
  
  I don't wanna wake up with another
  But I don't wanna always wake up with you either
  No you can't hop into my shower
  All I ask for is one ***kin' hour
  You taste so sweet
  But I can't eat the same thing every day
  Cuttin off the phone
  Leave me the ***k alone
  Tomorrow I'll be beggin' you to come home
  
  Tonight
  Leave me alone I'm lonely
  Alone I'm lonely
  I'm tired
  Leave me alone I'm lonely
  Alone I'm lonely tonight
  
  Go away
  Come back
  Go away
  Come back
  Why can't I just have it both ways
  Go away
  Come back
  Go away
  Come back
  I wish you knew the difference
  Go away
  Come back
  
  Go away
  Give me a chance to miss you
  Say goodbye
  It'll make me want to kiss you
  Go away
  Give me a chance to miss you
  Say goodbye
  It'll make me want to kiss you
  Go away
  Give me a chance to miss you
  Say goodbye
  It'll make me want to kiss you
  
  Tonight
  Leave me alone I'm lonely
  Alone I'm lonely
  I'm tired
  Leave me alone I'm lonely
  Alone I'm lonely tonight
  
  Tonight
  Leave me alone I'm lonely
  Alone I'm lonely
  I'm tired
  Leave me alone I'm lonely
  Alone I'm lonely tonight
  
  Tonight
  Go away
  Give me a chance to miss you
  Leave me alone I'm lonely
  Alone I'm lonely
  Say goodbye
  It'll make me want to kiss you
  I'm tired
  Go away
  Give me a chance to miss you
  Leave me alone I'm lonely
  Alone I'm lonely
  Say goodbye
  It'll make me want to kiss you
  Tonight
  Go away
  Give me a chance to miss you
  Say goodbye
  It'll make me want to kiss you
  
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  7

  Just Got One of THOSE Letters...

  by brunnhilde in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my mom just sent me one.

  you know, we love you so much; we don't want to lose you; don't risk your precious little boy's life; blah blah blah, garbage blah dronetalk.

  made me so angry i can't even talk about it.

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  looking_glass

  Welcome to my world. I got a letter last week from mummy dearest and it said essentially the same thing but ended w/ I will not talk to you til you return to Jah cause it is in your best interest. Oh, I did not wait until I cooled down. I just said, I am your daughter and you are my mother. When you are ready to love me unconditionally like a mother should, I will be here. But it is your choice and I will respect the choice you make, whether it is never speaking to me again or coming to your senses, it is your choice. My guess she will not talk to me for a while and then call one day and act like nothing happened. But it makes them people that we cannot trust because clearly they use their "love" as a weapon of mass destruction and really who wants to be on the receiving end of that!

  Good luck to ya, whatever you do. Just know that you are not experiencing something that others here have not experienced already. This place is great for resources and/or a sounding board.
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  28

  If You've Faded, Do You Still Consider Yourself a Dub?

  by brunnhilde in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i've been thinking about this a lot, because i've chosen to fade and i would never refer to myself as a jdub, but i've read postings from others who do.

  i would have written a letter a year ago but i've got older parents who are upset enough about me just not attending.

  on another thread someone is also leaving and they were advised to tell the jc to do whatever, to not acknowledge that they have any authority.

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  looking_glass

  Same here - quick answer NO

  Longer answer - if asked I explain how I was raised. I am not embarrassed by it, it is who I am and what made me into the person I am now.
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  14

  Are you disfunctional after being a witness?

  by Save My Soul in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  after not embracing many of the key practices of the witnesses (since 1995), i find it hard to fit into society in some ways.

  pre-generation change, i was reading the bible to justify celebrating my sons 3rd b-day.

  i knew of the common examples cited by the society, but wanted more.

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  looking_glass

  I was never isolated as a jw. I always had a huge group of jw friends. I was also allowed to play w/ the neighbor kids. But I mostly hung out w/ jws. When I started working, I made friends fast and have kept those same friends that I made from years ago.

  What is interesting is that you point out that you equate not celebrating the holidays w/ the feelings of being isolated and unable to connect w/ people. To this day I do not participate in many of the celebrations, because I do not wish to be dictated to (i.e., x-mas, easter = a man made date where I am required to buy a present or present something to someone else ... I give gifts on the spur of the moment when something hits me and I see something someone I know would like, not because it is a holiday). I do participate in b-days. But most of my friends are adults who have kids and their kid's b-days are important to them, but to them, their b-day is not important. We may do a b-day dinner for a friend, but that is the extent of it.

  I agree w/ you, for those who were of the mentality that they were better because they were a jw, those people have to isolate themselves and I could see where they would have a hard time mainstreaming back into the real world after having been in the religion for a period of time.

  I know many who have left the religion, some have had an easy time getting and keeping friends, some has struggled. In the end, you will find your place and your people. Give yourself time. We are a fast food generation so we expect everything in 2 seconds, if it is a friendship worth keeping, it may take a while to establish.
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  19

  OK... So it's TOE the line

  by zack in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  "toe the line" ---- like soldiers lining up in formation, their toes are in line, dress-right-dress.

  heil the furher!

  "tow the line"--- means nothing like it---- means nothing really..

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  looking_glass

  OMG - thanks for filling us in cause I have been saying this wrong for years!
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  21

  What a woman REALLY means!!

  by crazyblondeb in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i will be very honest and say, "i currently do all of these things"!!

  ) fine: this is the word women use to end an argument when they are.

  right and you need to shut up.. .

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  looking_glass

  But some men have us figured out. I was working on a case w/ a shareholder partner in my firm and he was really pissing me off but I had to hold my tongue. At one point I think everything (but no. 2) happened. But when I said to him "whatever" BOY did I get called out on that one. And I did mean what the original thread says it translates into. Unfortunately the shareholder partner knew that. Color me red.
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  59

  Living Alone - Love it or Loathe it?

  by Crumpet in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  well i have been living alone now for a week for the first time in about 6 years and apart from one or two minor episodes i am really really enjoying the freedom of it.

  i feel like a weight has been lifted.

  i feel free again - a tiny bit lonely at night - but mostly i think i've recaptured that long lost spring in my step.

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  looking_glass

  I love it. I have come close to moving in w/ ex-finance, but realized (when I started having panic attacks which I have never had in my life) that something was bothering me that I was not addressing, in the end it was the reality that I cannot live w/ another human being. I am fine w/ 2 cats, but people, I am not so good w/.

  I am extremely social, but being out at a bar/club/friend's house, is very different cause you can put on your party hat and when you get home, you are yourself. Although I loved my ex-finance, I was not in love w/ him enough to want to live w/ him forever. That was when it dawned on me that I like having someone around about 3 days a week and I want the remainder to myself. He, on the other hand, wanted to be together a lot more (thus the reason he was slowly moving his stuff into my place). In the end, it did not work and we went our separate ways.

  There is nothing better to me then coming home and deciding what I am in the mood to do ... which in my life NEVER translates into watching Sports Center or ESPN 24/7. Life is good.
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  7

  Campaign Strategy

  by looking_glass in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  strategic discussion on specific campaigns (by invitation only).

  can someone please explain to me what the "members only" section is?

  because you cannot post unless you are member to begin w/ right?

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  looking_glass

  Obviously cause you are the only one to answer and now you will have to be deleted, it is such a shame, cause I was just gett'n to know ya.