Posts by Quandry

29

reasoning

by BR25 in

i read most of the posts on here and i was just trying to get an understanding on certain topics.

i read some peoples material and why they dont believe in the jw faith.

i understand that some people left the jw faith and some people on here may never have been jws or believed in it, so i understand why you post and give info back and forth, but i have trouble understanding some of the disfellowshipped ones on here.

Quandry

I think that many who were disfellowshipped were treated so badly by the men in charge-the "Spiritual Shepherds" that they began to question their involvement with the WTS. By very virtue of the name, we conjure up a picture of a shepherd wanting to herd the sheep that has gone astray back to the fold; to protect it; to nurture it; to restore it to health.

Granted, some people do evil things, such as child abuse, and potential victims should be warned against these people, and maybe there would be no way to restore such a person to health. In these cases, however, we generally find that the WTS wanted to protect their image, and disfellowshipped people who might warn others against the abuser, while stating that unless there were two witnesses to the abuse, they would take no action in the congregation.

But, I think that those who manifest a problem drinking, or begin to smoke, or date a wordly person, should be offered help. Sometimes, yes, this would involve long term investments of time. Instead, many are humiliated, berated, and abused. Elders ask unbelievably unnecessarily personal questions in the case of sexual misconduct.

Sometimes, even very young people are treated in a cruel manner. That is what happened to my family. My teen daughter did some common stupid teen stuff-nothing as bad as I did as a teen. Instead, men chose to accuse her for over two and one half hours of fornication, after stating that there was no accusation of such, admission, or witnesses. When she would not admit to this, they told her they were not going to believe her. They made her read a scripture that God viewed her as filth, and she would burn in the fire with the devil and his angels. They humiliated and berated her. Then they disfellowshipped her without an explanation as to why.

Try going into your senior year of High School having not one friend in the world. No one to talk to. No friend for support. Being told by men that you consider the highest authority on earth-those having God's spirit- that God considers you nothing, and neither do they.

In short, until my family was personally treated in this horrific way, I felt more or less as you do. Until it affected me personally, and I could see for myself the destruction to people's lives and family that disfellowhipping brings, I am sorry to say that I felt it was completely fairly administered and always justified. Reading many stories here, and certainly having my own family almost destroyed, was a devastating eye-opener.

Maybe if you continue reading more posts...........

It was at this point that I went to the internet, typed in Jehovah's Witnesses and Abuse, and the floodgates opened.

19

Need Some Advice...Thanks...

by aquagirl in

i am the primary companion and caregiver of my elderly parents,78 and 80..i am also disfellowshipped.i was baptised 2 months after i turned 12.got df'd at 31...now that my parents are really starting to need me,and i am enjoying them as people,the jws are starting the crap about them not being able to associate w/me again..its really hard to have an intelligent discussion w/a group of people whos basic recourse is "bcz the bible tells me so"...but i really want to be able to care for and enjoy my parents during these final few years that they have left..my father is stepping down as an elder bcz of the turmoil,and also cause hes just getting too old to want to deal w/it..but thats not enough for the dubs...they want total separation...anyone have any advice or tools that i might be able to use?

i know,i know,its awfully tempting to just cheerfully suggest that they kiss my butt,but this is a real issue..i have to find a smart creative way to deal w/it..i know that some of you out there are smart and creative and have dealt w/issues such as this..i need to hear from ya...like ,could i get my baptism,{at 12 yrs old] annulled?

do the dubs honor legal documents?

Quandry

Maybe you could call the elders and ask to set up a meeting. Tell them you'd like to discuss the schedule you've arranged for your parent's care. You need to know who will be doing the regular grocery shopping, cleaning, taking them to Dr.'s appointments, going for medicine, etc. Who will be taking them to visit other relatives since they probably won't be driving much longer? Tell them mom needs to go get her hair styled weekly, could you arrange that, please, and dad's hair cuts? Also, who will be washing the clothes and taking them shopping for them? Maybe dad needs his ear hairs plucked-as an elder, will you be taking over that job?

Something tells me that you will look more appealing as a caregiver then.

I remember one of the very first posts I read on this forum was a woman stating that she had been df'd and shunned for years by her mother. Now mom had Alzheimer's disease, and was in a nursing home. They called her and told her she needed to care for her "duty" to her mother. Now she had to care for a woman who did not even know her, and of course she had to deal with the anger that she had toward her mom for shunning her for so long.

46

Why did they not try to 'Save' me?

by AK - Jeff in

i have pondered this question on many occasions.

when i began to have 'doubts' and began to 'question' some doctrine, and particularly the lack of christian love, very little effort was made to 'snatch me out of the fire' as elders are admonished to do.

i have always wondered why we as jw's would spend countless hours trying to start bible studies with 'wordly' people, while at the same time ignoring those who are moving away from dead center of the organization.

Quandry

When my family was still going, but having real problems because of the humiliating, cruel way my teen daughter was disfellowshipped and we were appealing, one elder asked another (and then told us) that he said, "We'd like to help the Quandrys, but they sit out in their car until the meeting starts and then leave right after." THIS WAS A LIE-WE HAD NEVER DONE SUCH A THING.

Up until then, when all this happened, I would have vehemently sworn that elders would never lie, or treat someone shamefully... boy was I stupid, stuuuuppppiiiiddddd,,STUPID!!!!!

13

I heard a term describes disfellowshipping to a "T"

by JeffT in

jw
friends

i can't find the exact quote (i'll keep looking) but charles swindoll said of church discipline "we're the only outfit i know of that shoots its own wounded.

i think that is a very apt way to say what jw's do.

about twenty years ago a relative was diagnosed as bipolar.

Quandry

Very apt description.

They are like a pack of dogs that circle until they see an opening.........

13

What Happens When The Clock Strikes 2014?

by The wanderer in

jw
friends

what happens when the clock strikes 2014?the watchtower society has been pointing to the year 1914 as the.

marked year for about 100 years.

after 1975, many individuals left.

Quandry

I don't know what will happen, and I hope I am still here in 2014 to find out. What I bet they are doing right now is having secret meeting after secret meeting to figure out what they will say when that bridge comes and they must cross it. Wouldn't I like to be a fly on the wall hearing it all go down.

At any rate, I'll bet they are wording and rewording the statements that will put the blame squarely on the ones who deserve it--the ones who ran ahead of the organization and read things into the date 1914 that the WTS never said. You know, things like, "The generation that saw the beginning of the time of the end and were at an age of understanding will not pass away until all things occur."

9

Who Will Survive---And Why?

by Sunspot in

we find where the wts editorial staff has written their opinions:.

"jehovah is using only one organization today to accomplish his will.

to receive everlasting life in the earthly paradise we must identify that organization and serve god as part of it.".

Quandry

Well, Sunspot

I think your well researched explanation says it all. All must come to this ORGANIZATION, yet looking to an organization is idolatry.

How did we sit for so long and hear these opposite words, and yet seemed to understand perfectly?

53

Taking predictions for the 2007 memorial partakers!!

by cultswatter in

i'm doing this well in advance so that all the wonderful people on jwd can look back later and see just how close they were to the actual number!

(it is possible the wts might stop publishing the partaker numbers) in a few days, i will duly record the link to this thread for future reference.. remember that there were 8524 partakers in 2005 and 8758 partakers in 2006, an increase of 234 partakers.

so how many remnant will partake in 2007??.

Quandry

8945

Hail the Theocracy, ever increasing

Wondrous expansion is now taking place

10

Went to Mormon Temple today

by pollyana in

to hear a prophet speak.

ya, ya this is joe hoover's playground but....learning about species 8179 can only add more perspective (and ammunition) to combat the warped world of joe hoover.

from all i've read about the wts i was afraid, terribly afraid.

Quandry

1. Does the JW congo have a secret handshake?
2. Do the JW wear "bulletproof" garmies to protect them from evil and confirm their faith?
3. Do the JW make males wear a Pillsbury Dough Boy hat? (I crapped my drawers when I saw that.
4. Do the JW poke at each other's bodies separated by a veil? (5 points of fellowship. Some male members poke away at the female on the other side of the veil with their "6th" point of fellowship. Nudge nudge, wink, wink.
5. Do the JW baptize the dead by proxy? WTF? Baptising dead people to enter them into the Mormon faith.

I am interested in these questions. Could you explain??

1. Did you see people shaking hands in weird ways that were supposed to be secret????

2. I suppose you are talking about their secret underwear that they get when they are baptised? Did they talk about it???

3. Who wore this type hat and why?

4. What????? What do you mean poking each other???? The mental pictures that I am conjuring up are disturbing.

5. Yep-heard of this one.

12

My Story (in detail)

by KW13 in

jw
friends

its sometimes hard for us ex-dubs to share our stories and even harder for those who can't leave the organization and need to vent.

i would encourage all those with a story to tell to do so, i'd really enjoy reading it as i do already read the stories you all shared.. i grew up without my dad and almost without my mum since she was always out drinking or doing something else.

we've been homeless and without money, for years no one in the family had a telephone and my dad offered the sum total of 1.50 a week in child support before running away to american for a few years, abandoning his responsibilities (which he successfully evaded right up to me being too old to need or want his help).

Quandry

Thank you for your story. I hope you feel lighter after sharing it.

Please have goals in mind, since you are just 18. Look forward and keep going in that direction. Maybe get the education that you did not get previously. Have confidence in yourself that you can accomplish great things if you put your mind to it.

Always treat your family as though they are a precious gift--because they are. Tell your child each day that you are glad he/she is here, that you always dreamed of having a child like him/her, and how proud you are of her/him.

You have been through bad times, but this will make you a sympathetic understanding person. You will make a great parent.

13

Mysterious letter

by winnie in

jw
friends

what's the 'mysterious letter' that follows you from one congregation to the next?

what's in it, who writes it, and can you have access to your own and read what has been written about you?.

growing up, we moved so many times that i can't even remember how many schools i went to, let alone where i completed each school year.

Quandry

The WTS is an entity unto itself. They make their own rules. They do not have to show you the letter, and if it is not complementary, probably would not.