You seem to be having a stressful day -- I read your other thread, too. Facing reality can be difficult and painful. Don't worry too much about it; just get what you can out of each day. I don't think there's any point in looking back and regretting, or in looking too far forward and having still more regret.
It's a sad thing that this life is probably all there is. But, it makes life more precious and we don't want to waste it.