Posts by freeme

22

Did you have a dominant family in your congro??

by karter in

was there one family that ruled your congro?.

was it referred to as brother so and so congro?.

if you married into that family were you automatically made an m's or elder?.

freeme

yeah, i had! a big one (around 30% of the cong was part of that family). and my sister married into it what gave me a bonus in becoming a ms. but i moved away before i was appointed.

39

i'm scared everyday that i will lose my husband to this cult.. i'm scared everyday that i will offend my dear friend because of my bitterness with this cult.. i'm scared everyday that my husband will choose to go back to studying and become active again.. i'm scared everyday that my life will crumble after working so hard to build the wonderful relationship that i have.. i'm scared everyday that his family will eventually say that they cannot associate with him anymore unless he goes back.. i'm scared everyday he'll choose.

i'm scared everyday that i'll never have a family of my own because of this stupid cult.

i won't bring innocent lives into this shit.. i'm scared everyday that i'll give up.. i'm scared evertday that he'll be gone.. i'm scared they will convince him.

freeme

thank you 4mylove... its so good to know that there are people experiencing the same. maybe there are hundreds everywhere on the assemblys and even in the congregations... but noone speaks out. everyone wears a mask.

its terrible. sometimes i even think about going back... just to have unity with my spouse in that matter again. she gets so angry so fast when i try to talk about my feelings. but she isnt a angry person, just mindcontrolled. i rarely speak about it with her. when we both ignore it we're pretty happy.
but i cant go back. ive researched and thought about too many things. it would be a lie to myself for the rest of my life. and even a lie to my possible kids. a lie to everyone i love. i cant do that - it feels too wrong. but she wouldnt follow me. the only chance i have is to wait... that something happens. anything that opens the mind of my wife. i dont know whether this will happen... i hope... i can understand her somehow... i know how it feels to her... but... on the other hand... i dont understand her following men without any need of proof at all anymore... shes incredibly in a loop of thougths... why are these gods chosen channel dispite there wrong doings, lack of love, human laws and wrong teachings over and over? because they say so. if you break it down its her only proof. because they say so and they're gods chosen channel... it would be funny if it wouldnt be so sad.

she says shes 100% sure that jehovah (aka the wts) will always be in #1 in her life. everyone knows how that feels to a spouse whos leaving the wts... everyone knows what may happen.

im scared of the day when the elders come to give my wife a sheperding visit when im not home to strengthen her against me. im really scared of it. whoaaa...

its always nice to speak out on this stuff. its a relief. to know that someone may read it who is in a similar situation. sorry, for hijacking your thread for it ;)

freeme

39

I'm scared everyday...

by 4mylove in

i'm scared everyday that i will lose my husband to this cult.. i'm scared everyday that i will offend my dear friend because of my bitterness with this cult.. i'm scared everyday that my husband will choose to go back to studying and become active again.. i'm scared everyday that my life will crumble after working so hard to build the wonderful relationship that i have.. i'm scared everyday that his family will eventually say that they cannot associate with him anymore unless he goes back.. i'm scared everyday he'll choose.

i'm scared everyday that i'll never have a family of my own because of this stupid cult.

i won't bring innocent lives into this shit.. i'm scared everyday that i'll give up.. i'm scared evertday that he'll be gone.. i'm scared they will convince him.

freeme

still_in74:

you're really one clone of me. my wife wants a baby too... i would want too... if this cult wouldnt be. i cant do this while one of us is in. and she literally tells me that she would raise them in the faith.

on the other hand shes scared she may gets old, too old, without kids. and this leads to the fear that she may leave me, since the urge to have a child can be strong.

solution? not yet to be found. i dont wanna leave her.

14

Joseph Rutherford in Time March 31 1930

by TD in

i came across this on microfilm a few years ago.

the quality is not the best, but it is still perfectly legible.

http://www.filesend.net/download.php?f=d4c55732fdad63d38814df86d2d67f5d.

freeme

this article alone should make any witness wonder whats hes in... but they wont wonder... thats what im wondering about every day.

39

I'm scared everyday...

by 4mylove in

i'm scared everyday that i will lose my husband to this cult.. i'm scared everyday that i will offend my dear friend because of my bitterness with this cult.. i'm scared everyday that my husband will choose to go back to studying and become active again.. i'm scared everyday that my life will crumble after working so hard to build the wonderful relationship that i have.. i'm scared everyday that his family will eventually say that they cannot associate with him anymore unless he goes back.. i'm scared everyday he'll choose.

i'm scared everyday that i'll never have a family of my own because of this stupid cult.

i won't bring innocent lives into this shit.. i'm scared everyday that i'll give up.. i'm scared evertday that he'll be gone.. i'm scared they will convince him.

freeme

((((((4mylove))))))

i truely can sign every single statement you posted. e-v-e-r-y single line. even this one "I'm scared everyday that I'll never have a family of my own because of this stupid cult. I won't bring innocent lives into this shit." :-(

just switch "he" with "she"...

much love to you, i feel for you :-/

8

WHAT IS JW THEORY ON ORIGIN OF AIDS,FLU AND SARS?

by badboy in

jw
friends

any ideas?.

freeme

there is no godly origin, but its definately a sign of the last days.

(of course someone needed to design the virii and bacteria... so since evolution couldnt create a single cell god created aids etc... so its god punishment? noooooo... satan did it? noooo, he cant create... so what?) lol...

15

any current JW's can you tell me .......

by grewupJWnoselfesteem78-95 in

jw
friends

it seems that no current jw's can answer this for me ?

they seem to avoid the question like the plague and i dont know why ?

is there any current jw's out there that know this answer ?.

freeme

i would jump around the question because there is no answer in the bible so its just guessing.

27

Have you ever intentionally said crazy things from the platform?

by B_Deserter in

like have you said stuff that is just outright insane like "each and every one of us should be ready and willing to die for the society" purely in the hopes that you'd turn someone off?

i imagine for most of us trying to fade that would be the most difficult thing to do, but some people are really good at shutting down and just going with a flow, too.. .

i ask because it's the only possible explanation i can come up with for some of the really bat-shit insane stuff i've heard come from the podium.

freeme

yeah, i did! not as crazy as "everyone should die for the society" and nothing what isnt part of the official doctrine, but i did it. not only from the podium, even from the seat as an answer. there is enough crazy stuff and i dont camouflage it anymore - i name it. and it worst thing is that you see some ppl nodding and being happy of it. i dont get it.

4

When You Lie...Whose Feelings Are You Trying Save?

by new boy in

i never lied so much as when i was a jehovah's witness.

it started at bethel, when a bethel overseer asked me to agree with his opinion, when i knew it wasn't right....."fear of man"...funny term "fear of man.

" it seems the only time i really had it, is when i was afraid of the "men" in "god's organization.".

freeme

i think this is the worst part of finding out about the "truth"... you realize youve to lie to keep the "truth" intact. no decent human being can do this and still be happy.

its rotten.

6

Pounding through my head

by freeme in

hi friends!.

mentally im out of the org, but stay in it because of family, friends and wife.

most of the time im pretty happy, until i remember that this wont last forever.

freeme

Hi friends!

Mentally im out of the org, but stay in it because of family, friends and wife. Most of the time im pretty happy, until i remember that this wont last forever. When i remember i cant live this lie forever. When my conscience tells me to do something. Regardless what happends to me and my future life i have to be honest to myself. When i remember all this i can feel pretty helpless and down.

I put this song on loop and feel better:

R.E.M. - Losing My Religion

Im aware of the fact that this song and the phrase "Losing My Religion" actually isnt about religion at all, but the lyrics just fit perfectly (the fear, all the stuff i found out but noone listens but judges me, my distancing wife, everything). Love it.
Just wanted to share with all of you. I know im not new with this ;) I just wanted to share, maybe someone needs it right now.

http://www.lyrics007.com/R.E.M.%20Lyrics/Losing%20My%20Religion%20Lyrics.html

Much love to all of You! I think of all of you who may have the same problems atm. The knowledge of others going through the same horror saved my life one day in 2006, when everything crashed down on me while attending an assembly - noone who doesnt experienced it can imagine how it feels. I wont give up now. Thanks.

freeme