i have been coming to this site to read news and your stories for about a year now, but have never posted due to my mortal fear of somehow being found out... i have family in as most of you do, who are all very sincerely convinced that they are on the path of light.. i have never been happy with the beliefs, mainly the doublespeak on the status of women, the hypocrisy, the dramatisation of the smallest of matters, and the general guilt trip that was my life until i stumbled across some hard evidence that my suspicions about 'gods channel' were well founded.
unfortunately i am now addicted to turning over every piece of information i can find, there seems to be no end to the amount of $#*& below the surface.
i will probably remain in this state for awhile, hungrily devouring all the information that makes me feel validated for my stand against much of the mindless rubbish that has gone around me during my life as a jw.
WELCOME BREAKINGFREE
I know how what you mean about fuming at the meetings after you had found out what a sham it is. That's exactly what it was like for me, I had planned to fade gradually at first but was getting so stressed out at meetings so I stopped going altogether. I have just told my family JW's how I feel because I wanted to be honest and not live a lie, but many decide not to do this. It is a choice many on JWD are faced with.
Maddie
i can't remember if it was discussed here, but michael porter, a witness in good standing in london, england, pled guilty to being a pedophile and was originally given a conditional sentence which outraged many.. anyway, his leniant sentence was just overturned, and it looks like he better not drop the soap in the communial shower for the next 18 months: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/7094591.stm.
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MARY - That's really great news!!!!!!!! I still think it should of been a much longer sentence, but at least he will get a bad dose of medicine in prison. His crime is considered to be the lowest of the low with other prisoners.
Maddie
hubby and i went hiking this weekend.
we were on our way and his parents called.
i could tell by the way he was responding that it had to do with something jw.
4MYLOVE -- I am glad you had a lovely weekend and if your husband has been inactive for a while now, it sounds like he has serious doubts which is a big step forward.
Hopefully one day he will leave altogether.
Maddie
it would seem that i am broken.
at least, to hear my dad talk about me.. we had a phone conversation the other day and he said that i need to.
do something to advert my current "drifting" course.. he said "i though we had agreed that you would set the goal of a date when.
He said "I though we had agreed that you would set the goal of a date when
this would be resolved by."
As your father said the above, are you sure that you didn't give him reason to believe this?
think he even holds out hope that I will eventually be reappointed as a M
worry of being in paradise without me, or me raising them up little apostate grand babiesS.
He dosnt say this, but I have a hunch that is what my parents are feeling, besides .
If your parents are still thinking along these lines, and you obviously suspect that they are, wouldn't it be kinder to tell them their hopes are futile.
I want them to realize that I have gone past the point of
"doubting" and have landed on the other side. There is
no turning back, and they really, really don't want to
believe that.
I know how you are feeling because that is how it was for me. I made the decision ( and it was unbearably difficult), to tell my family the truth and hope and pray they don't shun me. I still don't know what the outcome will be as I have only just told them, but at least I have been honest with them and true to myself. It it a choice many of us have to make on JWD.
My best wishes and thoughts are with you
Maddie
just wanted to say that.
so many wonderful people here.
so many crushed and broken hearts, healing together now.
JEFF - I'm beginning to feel the same way about everyone here too. The care, compassion, support and love is so amazing.
Maddie
mine is who knew by pink.
heard it first at a funeral saturday-listen closely to the words, very fitting yet upbeat.
fab song & great album: i'm not dead.. .
Leona Lewis - Bleeding Love
i have a unique way of doing time (prison rares its ugly head as a thought), i sit with my animals and talk to them and once in awhile i mention that i thank god for them.
sit with them 20 minutes a day and in seven days wa la 2hrs and 20 min x 4 weeks + 2 days left over and you have the magical 10 hrs every month.
what a deal huh?
I don't
Maddie
i had to drive 20 km or 12.5 miles round trip to go to a meeting........after so many years, that adds up !!
!
Some years ago I only had a 5 minute walk to the KH that I attended ( much too close for comfort!). My nearest one now is about 4 miles.
Maddie
just wondering what the societies official stance is on angel decorations or figurines??.
i guess i did not pay too much attention to this when i was in the borg, probably assuming they would believe having such things in your home was either; opening it up to satan or that it is a form of idolatry.. this q came up in a conversation with my brother today because i was telling him about a new angel figurine i bought for my collection (starting collecting about 3 years ago) and he used to study with the witnesses, so he is like "isn't having those against the bible?".
he swears he was told this by the elder he studied with but cannot recollect a scripture to support this view.
I have always thought how lovely some angel figurines look and would of liked to of bought some in the past. I was always put off by wondering if would be frowned on by the elders or not. Like you I never wanted to worship them for goodness sake!! I am determined to let myself enjoy beautiful things from now on without fear when I am not doing anything wrong in the first place.
Maddie
as witnesses who were deeply indoctrinated.
we accepted all of jehovah's witness teachings as a total package, it was "the truth".
there were no cracks in our armor that would allow other ideas, doctrines or thoughts to seep in.
Magick
I have come to understand that the saying "Whom shall we go to" in the bible isn't referring to a church or the JW's who think they have the "Truth" exclusively. According to the sciptures it is Jesus that we have to go to on a personal level which is a great comfort to me because there aren't any religious organisations that have it right in the fullest sense IMO.
Maddie
