Posts by Solace

42

This board means more than you think.....

by Tatiana in

jw
friends

november 26 was my birthday.

i missed having people say happy birthday like they do when they know someone here is another year older.. minimus started a thread a while back, when i was here for a few days, about what this board means and if you thought the people here were your friends.

i've been here a while, and have told some of my stories to you, but i haven't been totally honest.

Solace

April,

I remember you & I agree with you. This board is great.

Im not saying that we all agree on everything all the time, but I believe that most of the people here are very genuine and caring.

116

Would You Marry A Person Of A Different Race?

by minimus in

jw
friends

yes....no.....why??

?

Solace

Xena,

I really didnt feel the racism was comming from you, just trying to explain my comments to Danth.

Danth,

I agree, we could talk this to death.

I just wanted to mention that you also spoke of a white woman you knew and that it was kindof understood that she only dated black men.

I dated a black guy and after this happend, I received alot of attention from his friends. Maybe it was because they knew that I was comfortable and not prejduduce? Not sure. I suppose if I were that woman, I would want to be around men who were giving me attention too, regardless of what color they were. Maybe she wouldnt have ignored a white man, had he approached her. Did you try to talk to her? Just because some of the guys said, "Shes gone black and will never go back" doesnt mean its true.

After all, I married a white man and continue to admire positive qualities in people off all races.

I also believe that love knows no color or gender but people have argued that point with me also.

Peace.

Edited by - heaven on 18 January 2003 22:26:41

10

Passive shunning?

by Valis in

jw
friends

quite a few posts of late have mentioned shunning and i was pondering my own case.

i've come to think of it more like passive shunning if anything.

i can call them, but they rarely if ever call me.

Solace

Interesting thread Val.

In my family, shunning styles vary alot. It probably has alot to do with their own conscience and what they feel is acceptable to the society. The gray area is a beautiful thing, ya know?

Many in my family are passive. It may be because I was never baptized and they arent required to shun me though. I contact them here and there, and they occasionally call me etc. slight distance is kept and religion is almost never mentioned. I can tell they are waiting to bring it up at the slightest opportunity but I dont usually open any doors. They will spend time with us on occasion and want to visit with my son and daughter, but this scares me because they have been known to bring up religion, when they are alone with them.

The others, who are stronger in the religion, pretty much totally avoid me because I disagree with them openly when they get preachy. I guess Im considered bad association. They will usually only send us a card if it includes an invitation to the memorial, or the latest Watchtower article etc. They will acknowledge my kids but have made comments that they shouldnt bother since they will be distroyed in Armageddon anyway. My aunt, who is a missionary, recently sent my kids a JW video with no letter or card enclosed. I have tossed it in the trash and will send her a polite thank you, letting her know we appreciate her thinking of us.

It is sad, but I guess its just the way it is, ya know?

116

Would You Marry A Person Of A Different Race?

by minimus in

jw
friends

yes....no.....why??

?

Solace

Xena,

True, sometimes people will enter into relationships for reasons that arent totally pure. I honestly dont think this is limited to any particular race or gender though.

Danther,

Telling everyone about something that you experienced on a few occasions is different than saying "most black men" etc. I am referring to the following comments you made.

"I think that sometimes white women take advantage of black men.

I've seen too many cases of white women who are total head cases go for black men,

How do you know that these women are head cases, and what does the fact that they are white have to do with them being a head case?

"simply because they will put up with their crap and will kiss their ass from sunup to sundown."

How do you know that black men will kiss their asses from sunup to sun down? Are you there from the am to the pm?

Why would a black man put up with a white woman who's a head case?

I dont know why but they do.

Uhhhh,,, ohhhhkaaaay....... If you say so.

BTW, I was once dumped by a black guy. I guess I just wasnt the "ultimate" to him and he didnt feel like putting up with my being a "head case".

I dont condemn all or even most black men for his actions any more than I condemn all or most men for any one mans actions tward me.

No harm done,

Hey, you have your opinion and I have mine right?

116

Would You Marry A Person Of A Different Race?

by minimus in

jw
friends

yes....no.....why??

?

Solace

Danth,

OK, I'll try to be a little more clear.

In my opinion, every comment you have made, that begins with, "Sometimes white women, or Sometimes black men" is generalizing, racist and sexist.

The fact is, people "sometimes" hurt and take advantage of other people.

This has NOTHING to do with someones race or gender.

It has everything to do with what type of person they are.

116

Would You Marry A Person Of A Different Race?

by minimus in

jw
friends

yes....no.....why??

?

Solace

Danther,

Your previous posts are not usually the kind that I ignore. As I continued to read them, I noticed you were humiliating yourself more than I ever could, so I chose not to comment.

I understand that you have been hurt, but you probably shouldnt blame an entire race or make such huge generalizations based on something that happend with one person.

Initially, we become attracted to someone for whatever reason, but love is not about race, color, style, or appearance. Sometimes I think we have to actually experience it, to completely understand this, ya know?

Edited by - heaven on 17 January 2003 20:44:47

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