Hi Red & welcome! You sound very intelligent and kind... this may help with your bfriend... don't give up on him. Whatever else you can do for him at this time in his life, if he's not already baptized into his faith, CONVINCE him NOT TO GET BAPTIZED. He may get slack about this decision not to get baptized, but they'll have NO control over him. Once he gets baptized... forget it! They've got him in emotional blackmail. This is very important!!!! I have family who were raised in the faith but never got baptized... the most JW's can say about them is "... well, there's always hope..." They get treated 100% better than those family members who are in the faith (baptized) and decided it's not for them... and want to quietly back away: well forget about it!!! NOT happening without much heartache. Keep posting! Look foward to it!
Posts by JBean
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31My boyfriend is a JW
by little_red_birdie ini am just a young teenager, and my first ever boyfriend is a jw!!
at that time i didn't even know what a jw was, no one at school ever really mentioned anything.
i had no idea what i was getting into.
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12
An Interesting Dilemna Part 2
by mindfield inokay, okay, so this isn't really a dilemna.
i just want to hear your thoughts on this.... it's co week here in our cong...(woohoo) and i haven't went to the kh for about a month.
my sis told me she'd really like it if i'd come, maybe just for tonight, since it's special (cough, cough) and to sit with her and her hubby.
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JBean
I just love Fred!
Mindfield... isn't there a Charlie Brown special or something similar on tonite that you really need to see instead? : ) -
50
I FEEL SO USED
by Serena ini have been "fooling around" with brother charlie for a couple months.
going to his apartment and spending the night with him.
i am so in love with him, i would do anything for him, anything at all.
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JBean
Serena,
The basic reason a JW should not date/marry, etc. a non-JW is that everyone in the borg is afraid that the JW will LEARN THE TRUTH about the borg from their non-JW love interest and leave! Period. It has happened and will continue to happen.. no matter how slowly. This guy DOES need to make a decision... you also need to make one. You KNOW what to do.. just please do it. ps: as others have said, marrying/having a relationship with a JW (if they continue to remain one) is VERY DIFFICULT... more so than other religions, because the JW's expect so much, are very judgemental and often times stalk their members to assure conformity! If he doesn't leave the religion (or at least become "inactive") you will have a VERY HARD TIME. Please start believing the people on this board. THEY KNOW FROM EXPERIENCE!!!
Jbean
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25
Disassociated
by LB ini'm new here and i'm certain this topic has been discussed in the past so please forgive me for bringing it up.
i've been inactive for about 3 years now and at this time would like to disassociate myself as i do plan to celebrate holidays and such.
so i think it is to my advantage to da myself before i get dfed.
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JBean
It's safe to say that after being inactive for 3 years or so... they'll leave you alone. If you decide at some point to go back to meetings and participate, then they will DF you if it's been known that you were celebrating holidays, et al. But only if you decide to come back. There is a certain timeframe where they don't give a damn what you do, cos basically you're not really "known" as a witness anymore, but I'm not sure what that actual # of years is. Does anyone know?
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15
Another Michael Jackson oddity.
by Yerusalyim inback when mikey was still black and still part of the jackson 5 he and his family were all jw's in good standing right?
did michael and his dad get disciplined for mikey singing "santa claus is comin to town" that i just heard on the radio?.
yerusalyim.
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JBean
Joel, I believe Michael could "hook you up" for that surgery! : )
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15
Another Michael Jackson oddity.
by Yerusalyim inback when mikey was still black and still part of the jackson 5 he and his family were all jw's in good standing right?
did michael and his dad get disciplined for mikey singing "santa claus is comin to town" that i just heard on the radio?.
yerusalyim.
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JBean
I believe a few people have mentioned this in other threads and it's been noted that TVGuide cut and pasted from a very old interview... not a recent one. Plus... if you caught any of Mikey's latest concert on TV... he's DEFINITELY NOT a JW for too many reasons to list here! : )
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50
I FEEL SO USED
by Serena ini have been "fooling around" with brother charlie for a couple months.
going to his apartment and spending the night with him.
i am so in love with him, i would do anything for him, anything at all.
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JBean
Serena,
I would like to know how old you are (you say your b-friend is late 20's)? The way you are conveying your thoughts here is in a very hysterical way. If you take a few breaths and calm down, I believe you'll be able to digest all the information and suggestions you've read here. Realize that everything happens for a reason, and you are to learn from this experience. It's really up to you how you handle this situation. By his actions he is forcing you to act... so act, make a decision and stick with it. I personally think you need to really distance yourself from him... change your phone number even. If he is truly in love with you, he WILL make his way back to you, no matter what the circumstances and how hard you (perceive) you make it for him to come back. If and when he does come back, it would need to be with certain new "rules"... no more hiding, etc. Just my .02!
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Another Michael Jackson oddity.
by Yerusalyim inback when mikey was still black and still part of the jackson 5 he and his family were all jw's in good standing right?
did michael and his dad get disciplined for mikey singing "santa claus is comin to town" that i just heard on the radio?.
yerusalyim.
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JBean
Mikey's dad was never a JW. I believe only his mom and one of his older sisters and her family (kids & Hubby) are still in... (probably barely hangin' on.) I don't know about the other 4 brothers... but Michael was in the faith for a brief while when he was in his late teens/early 20's. I don't believe he has ever been "formally" disfellowshipped... 'cos I heard he still contributes mucho $$$ to the society. They don't want to lose that contribution, ya know. (About him singing holiday stuff when he was younger... his mom probably played the "my husband's not a JW" card and so the elders let her off easy.)
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17
What Should I Do (JW that Mentions Birthday)?
by Free Eagle ini have become somewhat friendly with a jw lady (i am also a woman and have gotten to know her over the past four years).
i am unsure of her status in the religion.
i am not a jw but have educated myself regarding jw customs, etc.... in conversation we found we were born in the same month, and she told me when her birthday was.
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JBean
I think that your friend is just aching to tell you about how she feels and how she may be having doubts about her faith, but is too shy or doesn't know how to broach the subject. I would definitely go with the idea to invite her out for a birthday cocktail! She may say no... that she's too busy... or she may tell you that she basically doesn't celebrate. Or, she may go and have a great time. I know with me that the changes in thought and actions came very slowly. I've been told by my friends (non-JW by the way!) that I'm the most festive JW "non-celebrator" they know! HA! I would stick with this and help her in her journey.
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66
Interfaith Relationship
by Christina77 ini am currently involved in a relationship for the last year and a half with a man that i found out about 2 months ago is a jehovahs witness (and i am catholic).
the only reason why i found this out, was that i was pushing the issue as to why his parents do not know that i exist.
this really irritated me since he has a very close relationship with his parents.
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JBean
Hi Christina...I've jumped ahead to post without looking through all 4 pages yet because I want to tell you that if you love this guy, please stick with him. (I'm now going back to read every entry here!) From VERY personal experience I can assure you that he CANNOT be disfellowshipped for marrying a non-witness. (If they find out you've been sleeping together tho'.... well look out!) From VERY personal experience I can tell you that he (and you by association) will be "spoken to" mainly by his family, not so much the congregation unless he is really, really actively involved in it. His family will make him feel like he is a traitor to God, etc. They will yell, cry, more than likely do anything to try to get him to change his mind. All you both need to do is really be prepared for this reaction and continue on with your plans to marry (or be together). The family (from MY experience) will eventually calm down (this may take a year or so, though) and as long as he's not disfellowshipped, will begin to "come around". You will definitely get the cold shoulder for a long while... but if you are as kind and loving as you sound here, they will learn to love you. I'm divorced now but I always joke about the fact that by the time I did file for divorce my family loved my (ex)husband more than me --they actually begged me to rethink the divorce and give my ex another chance!!! He NEVER converted but they loved him anyway after a while (I'm still "in" by the way...) Hope this helps. Please keep posting! Jbean