Posts by joannadandy

16

Bands you want to yourself?

by Lostreality in

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we all have them..bands we want to be recongnized, but dont want to become mainstream because then they cant be 'your' band anymore.. what are yours?.

mine: massive attack, portishead, gunfighter, ok go, god lives underwater.

joannadandy

First off...hasn't Portishead broken up now? I thought I remembered hearing that a while ago.

Secondly, I don't think I have ever wished a band be unsuccessful. And I have never understood fans who say, "Oh man they sold out." It's just silly really. It would be like if your best friend had a small business, and had a chance to franchise and become a huge success and make all their dreams come true, but you say, "Oh man...you are so selling out!"

Nothing wrong with making money, and nothing wrong with being recogonized for your talent.

78

Belief - a key to Spiritual experience

by LittleToe in

setting aside dogma, taking the comments of augustine to a deeper level ("unity in what is essential.

freedom in what is not essential.

charity in everything"), i'd like to share an observation.. i don't know if i can articulate it properly, and i know it'll open me up for some abuse, but so be it.

joannadandy

I would assume when he uses the term 'spiritual experience' when refering to an invisible, yet personally tangible force that appears to be active and guiding either internal realities or external realities.

I know I have never felt that. Even when I was trying my best to be spiritual and have a connection with something larger than myself...I never felt it. I have felt it at moments in more earthly ways. Feeling connected to living things and the vast networks of life that make up this world, but I have never felt more beyond that. Perhaps I have a limited view and thus it's holding me back, I dunno.

I think that's why I shut down to a lot of belief now. I have never felt that. (And it wasn't from lack of trying). I don't know how to go about feeling that. Perhaps I need to try again. And perhaps it is not fair to dismiss certain things because I have not felt it, but it makes it a heck of a lot harder to have belief in certain things.

I am rambling now...off I go...

22

I thought I'd share a bit of the book I'm reading...

by Surreptitious in

jw
friends

"i'll be honest about it.

it is not atheists who get stuck in my craw, but agnostics.

doubt is useful for a while.

joannadandy

What's the book the passage is from? Who's the author?

I don't know that I would characterize doubt and questioning (or agnosticism) as immobility. I just read a cool book by Jennifer Michael Hect, it's called Doubt: A History. Hecht is professor of history at Nassau Community College in New York.

She says that as a scholar she always noticed the "shadow history" of doubt out of the corner of her eye. Hecht is broadly addressing the human impulse to question what is given in order to find meaning and understanding. She sites Socrates and Jesus, Thomas Jefferson and Emily Dickinson among doubters. She suggests that only in modern time has doubt been narrowly equated with a complete rejection of faith, or a broader sense of mystery. But I don't think she, nor I would equate it with complete and utter immobility. How can you? To question is to open new doors of thought. To explore possiblities otherwise shut. If anything, in my mind, death grip on ones faith allows for a complete shut down of movement of thinking.

29

Why do Jehovah's Witnesses contemplate suicide?

by Sirius Dogma in

here is an excerpt from an article i was reading.. you can read the full and much longer version here.. http://www.jwinfoline.com/documents/death/suicide.htm.

a problem common among jehovah's witnesses is the feeling that they are not going to make it to live past armageddon.

even though they keep a rigorous schedule of activities designed to earn them a righteous standing with jehovah, the witnesses themselves are keenly aware that they fall far short of the perfect standard set by god.. why do so many jehovah's witnesses consider suicide at one time or another?

joannadandy

When I was suicidal I was pretty convinced I wasn't going to be resurrected, and really didn't care at that point. That was just the impression I was left with...tho I suppose one could off themselves and hope in that God of righteous and whimsical anger might let you squeak by...

20

I miss my friends

by seattleniceguy in

jw
friends

i saw a movie tonight and came home thinking about a couple old friends who are still witnesses.

i miss them something awful.

i needed to write, so i wrote in my journal for a while, but i really felt the need to write them directly.

joannadandy

I can relate...

5

Shades of the Scarlet Letter

by mustang in

jw
friends

on one of the pbs stations last week, i saw a program of those reenactments of life in old colonial settlements.

they were trying to enforce the "laws" or "regulations of the compact" of the "company" that sponsored and funded the colony.

most of these "laws" were religious in nature.

joannadandy

Yeah...I saw that...it was intersting to me how bucky we 21st century folk are.

Back then, even if anyone was harboring athiestic thoughts...they NEVER would have rocked the boat. So much for trying to be "realistic" to the time period. Haha!

There is a later episode where one of the colonists came out of the closet. Again...had we been striving for authenticity...they probably would have killed him...

It's interesting to see how far we have come, and yet how some things never change.

42

Should you change yourself for the person you are with?

by Sirius Dogma in

just something i was thinking about and wanted to get a few opinions on.

joannadandy

Next time I will remember this lesson, just because someone is right for you, does not make you right for them.

Sirius...that is a great lesson to learn...one I just figured out for myself recently. It has made a heap of difference in how I view my relationships now. And could have saved me a lot of hurt if I had just figured it out sooner...oh well! I guess the important thing is I finally learned it.

Billygoat I think made an interesting post too (as she often does). It's different I think when you are being asked or hounded to change, or wanting change to evolve as a person and try new things with your partner. I think that is beautiful and the key to a happy and healthy relationship.

Frankly I have never gotten that whole, "I can change him" mentality. Perhaps I am just lazy and think, "Dude--too much work, and no longer my problem, buh-bye!" But part of it is, I would hate if someone said, I love you but..." I was in a relationship like that. It didn't last very long. His list never quit, to which I thought, then you don't love me at all, because I will never be good enough for you.

I guess the other thing to consider is, are they asking me to change a belief or a habbit?

But I am rambling too much now, and yeah...SOLIDARITY MY BROTHAS AND SISTAS!

9

single in the city

by the mole in

after reading all the post here today.

i found it interesting how we hang on to the old thinking what got us in trouble in the first place..even myself i cannot shrug off some the junk that was implanted in my mind.. i have been out of the org now for almost three years and yet i find myself thinking they way society has taught me.. i have trying to date now it has been very difficult process..i find that im reluctant to new thoughts from some of the girls who i have taken out..i tried the relationship thing for almost a year and she gave up on me...im 38 with a 16 and 13 year old kids and dating is hard enough but the mind garbage is really hard to shake...so to say that i want remain faithful to the truth?

that is a stumbling block to my freedom...and to say i need to have a double life is but another lie to myself and to my kids..therapy my be needed but a specialist for xjw's would need someone with magical powers to suck my brain out and clean it with windex.....

joannadandy

Dating is NEVER easy...even for people who weren't mind raped by the JW's.

Honestly I sometimes wonder about people who were married while they were dubs. The majority got married at what, 18, 19...21 if you really had will power...lol...but what I mean is, most of them didn't do much dating. More than likely the ONE you dated was the ONE you married, usually after a pretty short courtship. (Sorry if I am generalizing too much, I am just going on the JW friends I had in my area).

Dating experience was pretty limited before you got married. It's hard enough after a divorce to "get back in the dating scene"...it's even tougher when you were never really IN the dating scene.

That being said, give yourself time. Hell I've been doing it now (worldly style) for about four years...I still don't know what the hell I am doing. And I don't think it is just because of being a witness. Tho I think it used to factor in to my relationships a lot more with people I dated after recently leaving the dubs. It gets less and less the more I am way from it.

THe only key to success is honest and open communication. And I am not even talking between the two parties involved. I mean that lovely little intrapersonal communication too. You have to be honest with yourself. Realistic expectations, hell even just knowing what your expectations are. What you will and will not tolerate. WHat you really want...and then being true to that when you do meet someone.

As FrenchieBaby said...there are SO MANY variables in dating. It's hard to say if you are having trouble because of being a former JW, age, kids, what...or it could just be you haven't met someone you clicked with yet.

I think, as I said before, the important thing is not expecting true love to happen over night. I think as a society (and ex-JW's who used to believe a 6 month courtship was plenty long) we expect love to happen quickly. A lot of times we make the mistake that "Wow, I agree with this person on these several things--WE MUST BE IN LOVE." And that's just kind of immature (because most of us are dating with a lot of immaturity and naivety because of being dubs). The one thing I have learned is (and call me jaded) because the "Worldly" dating pool is so big, there have been PLENTY of people I have really clicked with, and had fun with...but they are not people I should get hyper about and plan to spend the rest of my life with. Again...all those damn variables make it a lot tougher than finding someone who thinks like you.

Anyway--I wish you the best of luck--and anyone else who is in those dating trenches. It's not easy. Take your time, be good to yourself, and eventually you will meet someone who appreciates you and the self-respect you now have for yourself.

Joanna of the "man I can dish the advice" class

18

Sex, Demons, and Jdub Kids

by gitasatsangha in

this may have already been posted before, but there is a very good article at salon.com which talks about jw kid publications (esp the most recent) and their attempts to link demonology into the sex urge to frighten children.

here is the link and i will also imbed it.

http://blogs.salon.com/0001561/stories/2003/06/08/sexdemonsandchildreninthejehovahswitnesses.html.

joannadandy

JanH used to post here. I miss him.

Yeah it's pretty sick stuff...my parents were talking to me about it, saying how they thought it would be a great tool for my non-practicing (former JW) sister to use with my nephew...

26

Crisis of Conscience online or ebook?

by lookingnow25 in

i have no 'safe' way of reading a physical copy of this book really.

but after flipping through a copy at the university library here i finally want to examine it.

is there a copy online anywhere, or someway that i can view it on my computer?

joannadandy

Gee Fark, nice welcome there...

Actually as Valis has pointed out, there are plenty of places that have e-books where you do pay for them. It's slightly cheaper. Say 5.99 instead of 13.00 for an actual book. If you search Amazon, and click on "other formats" it is an option for certain titles.

Maybe someone should inform the publishers of this option. I am sure there are plenty of JW's who feel the same way. I too was freaked out buying the book because I had to special order it. I was so worried they would call my house and say, "Oh yes, your copy of Crisis of Conscience has arrived" so I just went to the store every day to check...lol