It's very simple really. Just stand up for yourself and don't go. I know it sounds easy enough and dealing with parents that still throw the guilt thing around is tough enough but the sooner you stand firm with your beliefs and by setting boundries sooner than later, your mom will somewhat back off (I hope). Good luck.
1Robinella
JoinedPosts by 1Robinella
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20
What's the best romantic gift youv'e ever received?
by potleg insharing a special anniversary with a very special lady and i'm looking for a little "inspiration" .
so what's the best romantic gift you ever received (or wishewed you had)?.
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1Robinella
My man is very sweet but he stresses out on gifts for me. If it's our anniversary, bday, xmas etc he starts sweating weeks in advance. Lol. It's kind of sweet because he really tries. But I have to say, for me, the most romantic thing my hubby does for me every saturday and sunday is make coffee and brings it to me (with the creamer and sugar already mixed in). I swear he never has to buy me another thing because I appreciate it so much and I always make a big deal about it too, it makes him excited. But I mean it. Since I work nights a hot cup of coffee in the morning is the best. Seriously, we had once scheduled a mini get-away (I live close to Yountville, CA) and made arrangements to have a couples massage and soak in the private hot tub in a private room. Of course we were butt naked. It was fun. It was expensive but worth it. Once we were done relaxing, we went to a fancy white table cloth restaurant for a late lunch. It was perfect and very romantic.
If your on a budget, how about a picnic? If you have dogs bring them and make sure you stop by on the way to get some flowers for her at the farmers market. Have a nice bottle of wine. I love Forestville Merlot. It's cheap but good to me. Once you return home draw her a bath (if you have room for two) join her. Give her a foot massage, if she likes that...maybe you'll get lucky
Just remember no matter what you do mean it from your heart. Write her a love note all the reasons you love her. Put it on nice colored paper and use a nice black pen. (Don't use 3 ring binder paper and pencil). lol.
Have fun. Hope this helps.
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I HATE this religion
by brotherdan inso today was my first sunday meeting that i didn't go with my wife.
as an update she has decided not to move out right now...because she doesn't have anywhere to go.
but she is giving me the silent treatment.
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1Robinella
I'm sorry brotherdan. Regarding your children. I'd tell them the truth. Something like.."I believe in god, I love your mommy and I love you. When you get a little older we can talk more about it." For a five year old that's probably enough for him he'd probably walk away fine. I'd always keep the communication easy and clear with them. As far as your wife, humm...what's up with her going out with "worldly" people for drinks? (I've always hated the term: Worldly). JW's frown on that big time. Besides doesn't Jehovah want her to work it out with you and keep the marriage vow? Your wife drinking with other people could possibly open the door for affairs. I'm not trying to make it worse, but a woman=cocktails=need to talk to someone that "Understands." Plenty of men out their willing to listen, even brothers in the hall. Becareful brotherdan. Although I'm sure she's a good woman, right now she's really confused because the life you and her created and lived this far, she was comfortable and happy (I'm assuming).
What about having your parents or other family member (non JW family member). watch the kids for the weekend and your wife and you go out in the town, have a couple of cocktails, stay the night in a new city. Kind of get-away for the weekend or for 3/4 days? You wouldn't have to worry about the kids maybe she'd open up about her thoughts and you both can possibly get closer..just a thought.
I kind of went through the same thing many years ago but I never had kids. My husband was a MS and he was worried what to tell people why I wasn't at the meetings. He said "She's sick." In a way I was sick of the meetings. lol. I'm not trying to make light of your situation. I just hope that she comes around. Are you able to give more detail? Is she a pioneer? etc..
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Is this weird or what?
by 1Robinella inthe other day i was on the phone with my mother.
she lives about 20 minutes from the rest of the family.
she'll be 73 in november.
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1Robinella
All your wonderful comments are appreciated. Thank you, your comments were a huge help. Everyone had such good comments that everything that was sent had valid points to ponder over. I believe this is just another jab because I (we) are not JW's anymore. I also believe she's scared and worried what may happen in the future for her. She just doesn't realize that she wouldn't have to worry so much because the answer is right under her nose (so-to-speak) but I think something hard will have to "hit her" like, her friends not helping out. That would create a huge slap in the face for her, unfortunately we have to be their to see it. All I can do is live my life and when the time comes deal with it then. But this is a waking moment to reality when dealing with loved ones wrapped up in this religion.
"Ya right..Jehovah`s Witness`s are known throughout the community..For their Charity and Soup kitchens for the Needy..You mom has an Unpleasant Surprise in her Future.."
I agree with you Outlaw.
"They would support her insofar as being nice to her at the meeting."
So true.
"Actions speak louder than words."
Agreed.
"I have heard Elders tell family that their faithful Elderly ones WERE their responsibility not the congregations."
I have heard this many times as well.
"...but family love should flow both ways.."
Well, it should shouldn't it.
-peace and martini's for everyone
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Is this weird or what?
by 1Robinella inthe other day i was on the phone with my mother.
she lives about 20 minutes from the rest of the family.
she'll be 73 in november.
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1Robinella
Yup. That's what I thought too everyone. I knew my mom was "off balance" but geez, this sounded way out there. My sister said that "It is sad to think that our own mother would turn away our help when so many older people would just like to have someone visit them let alone have a safe place to live with family." I think that if she did live with us, she'd demand us not to have a christmas tree. lol. or stay in her part of the house during thanksgiving. lol. With my mom, I could totally see her doing that. But If I told my mom that I was going to the meetings and getting back into it, she'd definately start packing her bags and wait for us to pick her up. lol. So sad really. Thanks everyone for your comments.
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Is this weird or what?
by 1Robinella inthe other day i was on the phone with my mother.
she lives about 20 minutes from the rest of the family.
she'll be 73 in november.
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1Robinella
The other day I was on the phone with my mother. She lives about 20 minutes from the rest of the family. She'll be 73 in November. Lives alone. I visit my mom every Monday, take her to breakfast/lunch. I am no longer a JW (not df'd) and one day I know something will happen that my mother will have to live with me or my sister. We want to take care of her and love her but when (She brought up this subject) "When the time comes and I can't help myself, the brothers and sisters will take care of me."
I told my mom that she always has a home with me and my husband (We have a modest home, enough room for all of us to live comfortably). I told my mom that we love her and that I would welcome her at anytime into our home. My mother said "The brothers and sisters would do a better job and support my beliefs, they would cook my meals and give me baths if that's whats needed." I mentioned to my mom that "No one would do a better job at that then me. Family takes care of family and anyone else would not necessarly want to do it. I would drive her to her meetings and pick her up but if she changed her mind I will always be here for her." Then I changed the topic.
What do you think about that? At first I felt a little insulted but not suprized. Too me she sounded bitter, angry and disappointed in her children for still not being a JW. She's an adult and can do whatever she wishes, but what would you have said instead? Please advise.
Thanks
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I just want to cry
by sabastious inbut it's so hard for me to let out the tears.
i think it has to do with how my dad raised me.
crying was very looked down upon.. just got done reading chapter 4 of combatting cult mind control.
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1Robinella
What's interesting to me is that I am a sensitive person, the one to cry at a movie, book or someone pissed me off. lol. But once I left the "truth" I didn't shed a tear. For me it was a sense of relief. lol. I couldn't wait to buy my first christmas tree. lol. The only person in my entire family that is still in this religion is my brother and mother. Lately even my brother is having "doubts" and he's a MS. He gives talks at the assembly and admitted this to me recently. I almost fell off my chair when he brought it up. My mother is knee deep into this religion and I think it's because she is 73 years old, that's all she's ever known, she has many girlfriends for support (driving to assemblys, lunch, service, doctor appointments, etc) She's too old to change her ways. I respect her, but not her choices. That's okay. I still love her but she's so closed minded to any other ideas outside the JW organization. Sometimes while she's talking I feel I can see right through her and inside my head I'm "shaking my head" in disbelief. This religion really teaches people to shut their minds off. I can't believe I was in it for so long.
All I can say is be strong and pray for strength and clarity. It's really hard but maybe through your example you will make someone else in your family think about what they are doing and join you. In a way, you have a family here even though I've never met you...always remember we ALL have gone through this and are stonger today for it. I don't know what else to say and I just hope you can smile. If you really just want to let the water works flow rent a sad sad movie or think about something else to make you cry and let it all out. You'll feel better, that's for sure...
peace
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Are you afraid of the Ouija board still?
by cyberjesus indo you think it has superpowers?
who controlls it?
satan?
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1Robinella
I watch a lot of Paranormal State, Ghost Hunters, Psychic Children and real a lot of books about the paranormal etc. I've noticed a lot of the "experts" will frown upon such "toys" (use that term loosely). You never know...but I did find this site for you, maybe it's helpful???
"The first thing to remember when contemplating getting out that board is that you are inviting unknown entities into your physical realm. Just as in everyday life, some of these entities are loving and kind, and some are evil and dangerous. Taking a few reasonable precautions and doing a little self-examination as far as why you are undertaking this in the first place will go a long way in assuring that you come out of the experience unscathed."
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I love my hair
by mrsjones5 ini saw a story about the following video on the news last night and thought it was cute.
i then showed the video to my daughter and she smiled.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=enpfde5rgmw.
here's the tv story: http://news.yahoo.com/video/world-15749633/sesame-street-teaches-self-esteem-22512445#video=22520085.
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Elders calling me in an hour
by bottleofwater inokay, if you haven't figured me out yet, read my past forum posts.. so the 2 elders wanted to meet up with me for the last time today to talk to me, but i told them that i want to talk on the phone and not in person as i can speak more freely and have less inhibitions.. they found out that i had committed acts of homosexuality with a few people and they still want to keep me in the congregation somehow.. i, myself, don't feel repentant over what i did and don't really regret much.
if i came across an opportunity to actually be in a relationship with someone and it were to appeal to me, i could potentially take that opportunity.. so now, i need to know what to tell them when they call me in an hour from now.
i want to be able to let them know that i don't mind being disfellowshipped and that i'm not repentant.
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1Robinella
WooHoo...If your of age go get drunk tonight and call out sick for work tomorrow and celebrate your liberation Infact, call out the rest of the week and party hardy...go to Vegas (If money permits) or charge it Last time I went to Vegas I charged up five grand! Yikes...WooHoo