Posts by DesirousOfChange

19

Keeping JW's as Friends - Healthy? - New Awake Article

by GOrwell in

jw
friends

kidding about that awake article title - i know it sounds like the title of an awake article, please forgive me :).

but seriously, do you think it's healthy to maintain friendships with people who are jehovah's witnesses?

when is it time to "move on," even if they don't seem to want to?.

DesirousOfChange

If you plan to pursue things in life that would get you DFd and you want to avoid that, then I would limit the association with JW friends.

92

Wanted to get reinstated... Almost ready to give up

by headisspinning in

jw
friends

i'd like to hear from anyone who was disfellowshipped but fully intended to go back as soon as possible and how that worked out or didn't.

i'd like to hear how soon you went back to meetings, how many letters requesting reinstatement you wrote, how you were treated, and how long it took you to get bitter and jaded.... or in the off chance you had a positive experience, what exactly happened.. really struggling here... thanks!.

DesirousOfChange

I don't remember the time frame, it was probably more than 10 years ago. Back then, they had a letter to the elders and instructions through the C.O. that those who "scheme" to get out of a marriage and get a different spouse will have to wait "several years" to get reinstatement.

It doen't matter what circumstances you and your mate have if they are following that information. It would seem that the both of you wound up with each other after the act of adultery, so they will take several years to reinstate you. "Several" is more than a "few." A "few" means "3" so "several" or "years and years" means a minimum of "4" to elders. You would be better off to take 2 or 3 years away from the congregation and if you still feel the need to get reinstated, start attending then and go for 6 months before requesting reinstatement.

On the Way Out is right about this. I think you could find references about it in the new secret elders' book. If they determine that you conspired or colluded to breakup your own marriages in order to marry each other, then because of your deviousness, elders would have to be very cautious that you truly want to be reinstated for the right reasons. It will especially linger if the "innocent" mates that you divorced are still single.

37

Hobbies

by MrFreeze in

jw
friends

being a jw, especially if you work, there is no time for anything else really.

work, field service, meetings.

wash, rinse, repeat.

DesirousOfChange

After deciding we needed to take out more time for ourselves, we discovered that we both love golf. And there are lots of other JWs that were somehow finding time to play.

31

Did The Elders Ever Try To Adjust YOUR Thinking?

by PublishingCult in

.

did the elders ever try to "adjust" your thinking?.

can you share what they felt was incorrect about your thinking?.

DesirousOfChange

If they came to readjust anyone's thinking, I suspect it would really be an investigative visit about rumored wrongdoing, as I don't think elders are even making shepherding calls anymore on the flock. Anyone (that wasn't reportedly in trouble) get one recently?

35

I committed un-suicide yesterday

by AlmightyDog in

yesterday i opened my wallet and took a long look at the (no) blood card prominently displayed inside.

i have been convinced that this is not the truth for a couple of years now, and am trying to figure out whether to fade or da.

it hit me hard yesterday that with this piece of paper in my wallet, i could possibly end up dying for beliefs i no longer hold.

DesirousOfChange

R&R - If you don't report field service time Jehovah's doesn't recognize you anyway,

Used to be policy to retain Publisher Record Cards for 8 years.

Thus 8 years with no report and the Cong didn't recognize you either. (Total Fade?)

I think policy has changed on that. Can anyone advise??

47

I THINK IT'S RIDICULOUS !!!!!!!!!!!

by wasblind in

1) i think it's ridiculous to tell anyone when and how to use something they paid for ( computers and internet service ).

2) i think it's ridiculous to tell married couples how to act in the bedroom.

3) i think it's ridiculous to tell people what kinda cars they should buy ( 4 door for fieldservice ).

DesirousOfChange

I think it's ridiculous that a group of men can put themselves on high saying that they are being directed by the most powerful force in the universe and trying to prove it when they have been proven to be wrong time after time.

Kinda giving God a bad reputation, aren't they?

43

I need some lovin tonight. Some tender loving affection and care, ya know?

by miseryloveselders in

jw
friends

i don't mean sex, but rather affection.

i need to be pampered and tended to.

just want somebody to put their hands on my face and call me baby tonight.

DesirousOfChange

And boobies:

how come I never saw the BOOBIE "emotion"??? as an option???

7

High School Renunion and Hypocrite Jw

by mamamo in

jw
friends

last night i attended a 80's reunion for my high school.

i was one of 2 ex jws and there was one current jw there.

the current jw shut me out, but i saw a fb post today between the other ex and the same current jw.

DesirousOfChange

Out of 210 graduates we had 5 JWs, only one is still in.

Only 20% still in. That's even worse retention than the Pew Study notes.

21

To our fading and in-suffering friends, status report please

by Mad Sweeney in

jw
friends

if you're still in for the sake of others, how's it going?

what specific plan are you working on to get your loved ones out so you can leave, too?

how is that plan progressing?

DesirousOfChange

How about some comments from those who have decided they need to keep one foot in the hall (IN-SUFFERING FRIENDS) due to the fact that all the family/friends are there and you're just not ready to FADE or DA???? Are you glad you are doing it that way? If you started that way, but eventually faded, do you wish you'd have faded sooner. (If you got DFed, then I don't think you can comment on this, as you didn't really have a choice.)

I'm not ready to bailout on it all yet. Most of my family is still all IN. But I've reccently come to realize that it's all "smoke and mirrors". I no longer can buy into the BS that the HS is involved in all these f$%^ed up decisions. It's politics. It's nepotism. I had been hoping for some organizational changes that would make it all better, but I've given up on that. Any changes that have taken place are making it worse (other than eliminating one meeting). I no longer think it's any better than most any other religion. But I don't think it's any worse. I think it serves the purpose of teaching morals and having a place for a social network of friends, most of which are sincere and well-meaning.

I even think the "brass" at the top are well-meaning. I think they really believe it. They have to! They have SO much invested. Plus it's just like the political candidate that can't see the forest because of the trees when his chances of winning are ZERO. He's surrounded by all of his YES-MEN who keep feeding him the BS and never telling him what the polls really say (YOU'RE A FREAKING LOSER). Did you ever know of a Jdub elder who could really tell the CO/DO the real facts of a matter. NO. They just grovel and tell him what he want to hear and the CO/DO keeps going on thinking he's a freaking inspired genius. I can't even imagine what it must be like with the GB. Who has the guts to slap them around and wake them up to smell the roses?? They surrond themselves with their own YES-MEN. It's the same as the scripture on having one's ears tickled. No one around with the balls to say "That was a stupid f^&%ing decision!" That would just get them a one-way ticket OUT -- out of Bethel, out of the good ole boy "circle", out of the Truth.

Time to get another beer.

70

"Who else are we to go away to?"

by simon17 in

to the intellectually honest witness, it seems like it often comes down to this principle.

"fine, if the witnesses aren't the truth, then show me the better answer and i'll consider it.

" and how do you deal with that?

DesirousOfChange

Eggnog, your post is too damn long.

He's probably manic. Go take your Depekote.