Posts by LyinEyes

12

Tempering expectations to reality

by gravedancer in

jw
friends

as one who has been reading posts this evening i find it odd that many of the xjw's here are wondering why every jw who sees a program like panorama doesn't immediately quit the cult (yes i said cult).

well its a rather obvious explanation, in my opinion.

simply put "you cannot argue against faith with facts".

LyinEyes

This post is along the lines of something I was thinking about yesterday, why did I stay in the WT for so long?

I was raised in the borg, and never looked into any other religion. Never watched a tv program that had a bad word to say about the WT , and walked away from relatives speaking against my God. I totally equated Jehovah God with the Organization, it was one in the same for me. Growing up this way , you have only the WT as your whole life. There is nothing outside of it.

I searched my mind yesterday to try and remember why I so strongly beleived that it was God's organization. One thing I can think of from very early childhood has to do with some kind of mind control issue. We as JW children were taught that praying to Jehovah and asking the right things in accordance to his will, would get us results. And WOW,,, sometimes it really seemed like Jehovah himself was listening to you, like your sick mom gets better after you pray all nite; you suddenly feel this overwhelming courage to stand in front of the class and explain why you don't celebrate Xmas. I did this and I felt a warm surge of what I was sure was God's holy spirit, how eles could I have stood in front of all and tell how I knew I was right. What about being so afraid to give your #3 talk on stage and praying for help, and all of a sudden you feel calm? I hope I am explaining what I am talking about here,,,,, an actual feeling ,, thinking you literally have God's holy spirit. Of course I know now that , that was simply mind over matter, we were told we could stand those test with God's power and we did. So each time this happened we were so sure it was another testimony to God's power and how interested he was in each of us. It seemed to build our faith in him and therefore the WTBS. As a child you can not underestimate the power of seeing is beleiving, you are told what to look for by a mind control organization and you see it. It takes many years to learn and to see it for what it really was. I have been out a year and I still have days , I doubt myself, like I am still programmed to self destruct if I stray away from what I was programmed to do. I think it is especially hard on those who also come from homes where there was child abuse. Honestly being raised a JW is in itself child abuse , IMO, but that is another topic. I think that is why I was so depressed and physically sick as an adult while in the borg. There were things deep in my conscience that I knew JW's were wrong about, not just their rules , but teachings . But I realized that I didnt want to know on a conscience level what was really going on. I felt I had too much to lose. I am glad that I took the chance to test my faith,,,,,,,,,, it didnt hold up. And now I am free.

But I can understand the power it has on many that are still in,,, they choose to be blinded, maybe not even in a conscience way. For many it is such a comfort zone, and how many times while you were in did you hear......... but where eles would we go?????????? I am not sure were my road will take me,,,,,,,,, or were I will end up, I just hope I never fall into another cult. I still fear my weakness in that area, maybe in time I will come to terms with that. I think I have come along way in just a year.

26

Nice shot sister!

by apostate in

jw
friends

i know a couple of sisters who have been canseled by the elders for wearing a little bit to short skirt.

i just wonder what serena's elders think when they see pictures of her like this in magazines.

is she still in good standing?

LyinEyes

I like your idea about sueing the WTBS for loss of "could have been" income. Let me know if you win, I am sure I will remember what my talent used to be. LOL

9

WTS on DFing

by Amazing in

jw
friends

the watchtower publishing corporation loves the df rule because it isolates jws from hearing critical information of their business cult, a cult that is disguised as a religion.

in the excellent thread yesterday about the 'hardline' on dfing ... this point was made in the aug. 2002 km:5. indeed, it is just as page 31 of the same issue of the watchtower states: "the fact is that when a christian gives himself over to sin and has to be disfellowshiped, he forfeits much: his approved standing with god; ... sweet fellowship with the brothers, including much of the association he had with christian relatives.".

the watchtower presumption is that a shunned former jw has always given themselves over to sin, and somehow deserve total shunning.

LyinEyes

Amazing , that was very kind of you to say, that you consider us on this board your friends. I have come to realize what the word friend really means. I thought the ones in the borg were my real true friends, but I was wrong. I have not been d/f or d/a and they have not shone much concern in my direction. A few months ago , I had to have a biopsy to check for cancer and was having alot of female troubles. It tooks weeks to find out that everything was fine, which I am so thankful for now. An elder and his wife stopped by to "check" on us and I mentioned my ordeal and that I was waiting to find out the result and how upset I was , being a mother of 3 young kids. I was very scared and didnt know if I would live or die,,,, I know sounds dramatic but even the doctors scared me, and I usually think I am invinsible. Guess what the loving friends in the congregation did for me.............?

Nothing. Not a call, not a pass this on if you see Dede , not a card . I am not one to expect such things really, and I don't cry if no one cares. But really it just made me more firm in my resolve to stay away from JW's , they have no true love. They were not and are not my friends. My own JW dad doesnt even know about what I went thru, I find it interesting that the local elders here didnt mention it to him. Of course they could have and he just doesnt care to ask , who knows.

My little incident with the none caring Jw is not an isolated happening , it is happening to all who they consider to be weak or not measure up. It is sad to realize that you thought you had so many friends and how easily it was dissolved. I guess that alone would prove they are not true christians, or they would have love amongst themselves..... we can see that is lacking at great measures.

I consider many on this board to my true friends too. I have had more support here than I have ever known in my life. When I was sick , there were many of the ladies that shared what they went thru, we laughed about things, and they listened to me worry online. All that was missing was the kitchen table and cups of coffee, between me and my friends. But in my heart they were here with me as if they were literally holding my hand, or had their hand on my shoulder. I will never forget how that made me feel, and how I will always hold those ones dear. They helped me to see how we all can really reach out to each other, even if we are worlds apart. I try to pay back the favor when someone is feeling down, or have lost a friend or family, or maybe they are sick. That is what real friendship is all about, you help and you are helped , you love and you are loved, there is no JW one sided conditional love. I am glad you brought this post up, it has given me some things to think about.

9

Did your religious belief affect you mentally!!

by haujobbz in

jw
friends

i ask this because many religious people i speak to seem traumatised by there x religious beliefs,there minds seem unbalanced not being able to deal with reality.they also tell me they have nightmares about things like end of the world,being at their old church,etc etc,are any of you on here going through things like this.they also seem confused in what do with there lives and in what directions to take.

LyinEyes

I agree with Gopher and Valis. Yep, sure do.

15

Ozzie's Weekend Poll #10

by ozziepost in

jw
friends

a little late this weekend, but your poster has been sharing the truth about 'the troof' with a crowd of eager seekers of truth in the mountains of new south wales.

addressing the gathering were posters zaqen, amos, ozziepost, mrs ozzie and prisca.

what a fine witness was given!

LyinEyes

I have always had trouble trying to agree that all those who are not JW's would be destoryed at armeggedon.

I never understood how they could say only 144,000 would go to heaven and that was a literal number when , everything in Rev. was symbolic. It was the only number to be taken for an exact literal number. Well maybe there were more numbers they said were literal , this one just stands out .

I didnt understand about the birthdays since it was ok to celebrate anniversaries.

41

Embarrassed

by WildTurkey in

jw
friends

sometimes when i think back about when i was a dub, i get a little embarrassed.

i remember telling my kids not to draw on watchtower mags (i also had to tell their mother) i was a grown man and would let nerd elders counsel me for dumb things, like saying the word luck, or bulletin board.

i remember getting to the end of the month and not having the cong average field service time and start to worry what the other elders and co would say.

LyinEyes

I am wild turkey's wife, and let me tell you once he left home he really started dressing like a GQ model. Like someone said before we were barely getting by while he was pioneering , we tried all we could do to simplify our lives and thought we were pleasing God. But we really did some great shopping and accessorizing so as to not look poor. It is amazing how you can swap shirts and ties to make the 3 suits you have look new!!! Of course everyone is our congregation were 10x poorer than we were, so I don't think they even cared about style. In fact I can tell you they didnt. There are brothers and sister there that are still wearing the same pair of socks they had in 1976,,, that is no joke.

We made sure that our kids , especially our oldest son, who would not be seen in old fashioned clothes and they better be name brand or he would be embarrassed. He was about 12 and decided to get his hair highlighted as all the young boys in the "world" had blonde highlights. Our son decided to try this and he looked really handsome, his hair was a little spiked and he had some sideburns .

One sister actually went up to him and asked him if, "Jehovah would like his hair style,"?????

I got very angry and he just took it in stride. He told me not to worry coming from this sister because he wanted to ask her if Jehovah liked frizzy unconditioned hair. But being the respectful young brother ,he didnt dare reply. This was just another time I was embarrassed by their ignorance. I am embarrassed that I didnt smack the crap out of her.

21

Born good or bad?

by larc in

jw
friends

most religions teach that we were born bad.

john lock believed we were born as a blank slate, neither good or bad.

later, psychologists studied humans, other primates, and other mammals.

LyinEyes

Born good or bad?

I think most people , are good. I am going by things I have seen, the way a stranger smiles at you; someone taking a dog they just watched get run over to the vet; all the volunteers who went into the burning buildings on 9/11;helping someone you don't know fix their flat tire;crying when you see something sad on the news, even thou you will never know these people;etc. etc. you get my point.

These are everyday occurances, you hear of heros all the time . I think most would go far and above the means to help someone in need , even a stranger. That seems to me the greater good is in us. Why , or did someone put it there I dont know.

I think those who do truly evil things , are the only ones considered "bad.Of course we all hurt one another in some way many times. I dont think that makes us evil or even bad seeds, imperfect yes.

There are those who are just bad and evil. I dont know if it is a chemical imbalance, brain injury, or child abuse. There are alot of indications of evil people having a genetic problem, mental illness. I don't know if I just want to beleive this or this is the way it is,,,, I just seem to think most humans on the earth are good people. We love our families, our pets, our friends, we all love the same pleasures in life. We all want the good things in life. Of course there are varing degrees on people as good, better and best.

I always had trouble with this as a JW, I thought most people for the whole, not in all cases, but in the whole were good people. Certainly not so bad they had to be destoryed. I never fully thought that when the end came, that God would wipe my sweet kind old granny off the face of the earth. I knew so many more good people ,, why would he kill them. I even thought there were many that were better christians than myself, even thou they were not JW .. gasp..........

24

Daughter'sText Message from District Convention

by jack2 in

jw
friends

my daughter went with a friend to the district convention today (i did not attend).

here is the text message that she sent from her cell phone:.

" so bored.......dying slowly".

LyinEyes

How precious!!!!!!!!! Seems like you and your daughter have a good relationship,, my son is 15 and we were always writing notes to each other like that. Most of the time we just would draw beards and tatoos on the people in the watchtower we were supposed to be studing. This really helped us to stay awake durning those boring sundays. I wish now I would have kept some of his original pics of Jesus with a Mullet, that was fun, and one of peter with a beehive, there was one of Mary with a hairy chest and underarm hair. Childish for me??? yes,,,,, but it past the time. I wish I could remember all the things he put over their heads in bubbles,,,, he loved to make his own comic books out of watchtowers. You can bet I made sure they were not left behind after the meeting,,,we would have been called to the little room.

53

My darn dog died

by LB in

jw
friends

i've had this cowdog for nearly 11 years now.

today she went out in the sun and got heatstroke and just didn't recover.

i gave her cpr and brought her back twice but she was too far gone.

LyinEyes

So sorry to hear about your dog , LB. Wild Turkey and I are dog lovers, we have had many thru the years and most of em were german shepherds. Right now we have a black lab named, Snoopy and I have a pug , named pug(( nothing fits better)) . We have a house full of kids (3 plus friends at all times) but these dogs are like our kids too. My husband dog , snoopy, is so obsessed with the hubby, she literally has her nose up his butt most of the time. She is only 5 but we dread the day for her to pass, she is such a part of us all. I just got my pug about 6 months ago, my other pug was a female and I called her "mama's little baby", she got ran over and I mourned her like a child. I was lost without her, she was always sitting by me or waiting patiently for me to come home. She loved me so much she would fall asleep standing up , just watching me. Such devotion.

I guess we all know how ya feel, Blue sure sounded like a big part of your family, I loved her picture. She reminds me of a fluffy snoopy. I can tell by her eyes she was devoted. You can never replace her and I know you wouldnt want to anyway, but getting a new pup might help fill the void. Maybe not right away, but in the future. When my pug died, I felt so alone, even with the kids and all, I missed her so much. When I got the new pug, he was totally different, he has so much energy and is very vocal and is a cocky little dog. He is not anything like my female pug, except that he adores me too, LOL,,, I spoil him rotten is why!!!! Hope you get to feeling better soon, I know these first weeks are gonna be hard for ya, maybe you can consider adopting a dog that might be other wise put to sleep or is at a shelter. These dogs are special because they need you as much as you need them. Hugs to you, from me and the old man. Dede

21

this board :)

by SpiderMonkey in

along the lines of joy's post on friends, i wanted to add my own 2 cents in praise of this board!

to put it all in a nutshell, i learned how to *drink* when i was at bethel, around late 89 to early 93. was disfellowshipped sometime just before thanksgiving 94, and have continued to be a heavy drinker ever since.

about a month & a half ago i discovered this board, and last sunday i quit drinking .

LyinEyes

Glad to hear you are feeling better about things ,Mike. I feel like you do, this board and the people here are like therapy to me. I honestly don't know if I would have had the courage to stay away from the borg without everyone here. I have been away a year now, raised in it , so it was and is a big adjustment. But WOW, this is what real life is all about??? I like it, I like it alot!!!!!

Mike, aren't you from Louisiana? If so, so am I, my hubby is Wild Turkey. We are close to Shreveport , if I am remembering correctly you are from New Orleans??? Hope you can make it to the Dallas Apostofest......( let the good times roll!!!!!!!!!!!)

LyinEyes( Dede)