mpatrick

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Posts by mpatrick

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  21

  Letting JW relatives go....revisited

  by MegaDude in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  some of you might remember i posted my thoughts on why, after years of shunning, and me continually trying to establish contact with the jw relatives that do this, i finally decided it was healthier for me to let them go and stop doing that.

  this was especially true in the case of my younger brother, who was more like a best friend.

  we spent a lot of time together before my extricating myself from the watchtower, including vacations and lots of weekends.

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  mpatrick

  Wow...great post!

  It has been a long hard road for me. But, almost a year ago to the date, I decided to do the same thing.

  My mom and sister, both of whom I was very close to, started talking to me again recently. I can actually say now that I can take them or leave them. I don't mean that in a bad way, but I decided that I couldn't make them change, and they couldn't make me change, so I had to decide whether I wanted to be happy or go on letting them tear me up inside.

  The biggest impact on me was a book I read called "Change your Conversations, Change your Life" It talked about how the things you talk about and think about affect your emotions. If you talk and think about sad things, you will be sad. If you talk and think about things that upset you, you will be upset...get the picture? Likewise, if you think and talk about the things that make you happy, you will be happy. I started using this in my daily life, and whenever I started thinking about my mom or my sister and the whole JW Organization, I would immediately change my thinking to something else. After making a conscience effort daily to do this, over time it became easier and easier.

  Now a year later, when I say I can take them or leave them, it just means that I can be happy with them in my life or I can be happy without them. It is up to me!

  mpatrick

  He does not believe who does not live according to his belief.-Thomas Fuller
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  39

  Who shuns you?

  by Dawn in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  after reading a number of posts it sounds like most of you have been shunned even by your immediate family members (parents, brothers, sisters)after you were df'd.. i am shunned by my sister-in-law - but she's it out of the entire family.

  my uncle, brothers, mother, and father (an elder before he passed away) all continued to associate with me - we even go out to dinners together.. so here's my question - is my family the minority?

  i thought that only non-family members had to shun you but family was ok as long as they don't discuss spiritual issues.

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  mpatrick

  I am not d'f or d'a, but I am known as "apostate". My mom has shunned me for months at a time, the longest was a year. Yet, at the moment she is speaking to me.

  My JW sister didn't acknowledge my marriage, yet she was there for me when I had my first child, but not my second, but by my third child she was talking to me again, but then she quit again, but at the moment she is talking to me. She wouldn't go to my d'f brother's wedding or reception, yet she just went to my cousins' reception(he was never a JW, so that makes it alright). My cousin's wedding was when she started talking to me again, and actually treated me like she had never stopped....it was weird, I never know what to expect. Usually, I let her say the first word, so I know whether she is talking to me this month, or not. It is safe to say, that it depends on he conscience "that day" whether she will talk to any of her d'f family or me.

  I have three d'f brothers and my father has always shunned the oldest of the three, but has taken my other brothers into his home when they needed a place. My father is a good man, but is very much a "loyal" JW. He will talk to any or all of us, if in regards to a family matter. When it comes to socializing, he will not, and he will not attend family social events if my d'f brothers are there. He will talk to me since I am not officially d'f, but he doesn't go out of his way to do so.

  My youngest brother is very immoral and still lives at home at the age of 26, he has never been shunned. But, he has done drugs, sold drugs (my mom even gave him money once, so as to make a quick buck to pay back money he owed her), had girls overnight in his room, has gotten arrested, and has had a DUI (driving under the influence). Since he was never baptized, he is allowed to act however he wants, without consequence.

  My oldest brother is still an active JW and has always shunned all of his family to some extent. He returned from Bethel in the late 80's with the attitude that he was "above" his family and "too spiritual" to be associated with any of us. He does call my mom and dad when he needs money though, yet feels no obligation to pay them back. He owes my mother a couple thousand dollars that he ran up on her credit card, and she has to call him on a regular basis, yet he screens her calls and never calls back. Obviously, he is the biggest hypocrite of the family!

  My family is so disfunctional, I gave up trying to figure them out! I am to the point, I just love them no matter what!

  mpatrick

  He does not believe who does not live according to his belief.-Thomas Fuller
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  21

  4/19 Cincinnati XJW Potluck!

  by LizardSnot in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hello friends and loved ones.... i met with a couple of fellow xjw's this evening from the cincinnati area and we've decided to have a pre-apostafest gathering.

  we wish to stress that all xjw's and jw's alike are welcome.

  this will be a friendly gathering for people to get aquainted...renew old friendships and fellowship with one another.

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  mpatrick

  I love to take pictures...I will make sure we get some posted after the big event...I hope to see a really good turn out!

  In the past, Intuit39 has had small groups of xJWs get together for Thanksgiving, birthday parties and any excuse possible. There are usually around 20 people or more. We are hoping by posting here, that we have an even bigger turnout!

  Everyone is welcome! If you have ever wanted to meet a great bunch of people and make some new friends in the process, this will be a great opportunity for you!

  mpatrick

  He does not believe who does not live according to his belief.-Thomas Fuller
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  23

  Disassociation?

  by Sunflower1982 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hi people!

  i was wondering if you all could take a moment to give me some advice.... since leaving my congregation and regaining clarity, i have been contemplating disassociating myself.

  i know it seems like a silly thing to fret about, but i think disassociation might give me the closure ive been looking for.

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  mpatrick

  Once upon a time, I strongly wanted to disassociate myself. But, now I am glad that I didn't. My JW father will talk to me because I am not d'f or d'a, even though he doesn't go out of his way to associate with me. It has meant a lot to me when he came to see my children after they were born, something he probably wouldn't have done if I was d'f.

  Also, a couple of years ago I went to the memorial to see all my old friends, and it was nice that they all talked to me. I have gotten past the point of caring what they think...I am so happy I didn't give the Organization the power to hold "disfellowshipping" over my head and to dictate who could and couldn't speak to me.
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  4

  A Godly Suggestion

  by mpatrick in

  1. social
  2. humour

  i received this email-.

  dear unsaved michelle:.

  *******, an inveterate name-dropper who has been declared unsavable by the landover baptist salvation evaluation committee for non-platinum tithers, stopped by the website betty bowers is a better christian than you and suggested that your unlikely salvation depends upon visiting the following url: .

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  mpatrick

  You can suggest this site to a friend, but Betty ask that you "Add your name and e-mail address (so the recipient does not think that Mrs. Bowers is a Jehovah's Witness who speaks of matters of faith without invitation - or reason)"

  http://www.bettybowers.com/cgi-bin/birdcast.cgi
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  4

  A Godly Suggestion

  by mpatrick in

  1. social
  2. humour

  i received this email-.

  dear unsaved michelle:.

  *******, an inveterate name-dropper who has been declared unsavable by the landover baptist salvation evaluation committee for non-platinum tithers, stopped by the website betty bowers is a better christian than you and suggested that your unlikely salvation depends upon visiting the following url: .

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  mpatrick

  I received this email-

  Dear Unsaved Michelle:

  *******, an inveterate name-dropper who has been declared UNSAVABLE by the Landover Baptist Salvation Evaluation Committee For Non-Platinum Tithers, stopped by the website Betty Bowers is a Better Christian Than You and suggested that your unlikely salvation depends upon visiting the following URL:

  http://www.bettybowers.com/index.html
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  41

  How Would You Respond?

  by silentlambs in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  below is an email i received this morning, can you feel the love from the spiritual paradise?

  this brings it to a new level of accusations, now i am apparently gay according to the jw gossip mill.

  i will have to add that to the list.

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  mpatrick

  This sick reply says more about the person who sent it, than it does anything else!
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  2

  Crisis in the Catholic Church

  by MavMan in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  crisis in the catholic church.

  by cal thomas.

  crisis was a roman catholic magazine before the crisis of priests as sexual predators made headlines.. in the april issue of the magazine, co-founder ralph mcinerny offers an explanation for the scandal that has captured the attention of the media, for the most part no friend to religion unless it's wrapped in earthly agendas approved by mostly pagan "bishops" at the new york times and the networks.. mcinerny believes that the catholic church in america has a problem with some priests molesting children because "our bishops have permitted a culture of dissent, largely defined by bizarre conceptions of sexuality, to flourish in the church.".

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  mpatrick

  Catholic Church in Crisis Discussion Board
  http://www.beliefnet.com/boards/discussion_list.asp?boardID=38098

  Join ABCNEWS Correspondent Bill Blakemore for a live discussion on secrecy and cover-ups in the Catholic Church, Thursday, April 4 at 1 p.m.
  http://www.beliefnet.com/boards/discussion_list.asp?boardID=38164
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  52

  Appeal to NBC Dateline

  by Amazing in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i will be sending this letter/email to nbc dateline at: [email protected].

  i am posting it in the event some of you decide to do something similar: you can also mail this to:.

  nbc news - dateline.

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  mpatrick

  Join ABCNEWS Correspondent Bill Blakemore for a live discussion on secrecy and cover-ups in the Catholic Church, Thursday, April 4 at 1 p.m.
  http://www.beliefnet.com/boards/discussion_list.asp?boardID=38164
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  52

  Appeal to NBC Dateline

  by Amazing in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i will be sending this letter/email to nbc dateline at: [email protected].

  i am posting it in the event some of you decide to do something similar: you can also mail this to:.

  nbc news - dateline.

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  mpatrick

  Please check out Discussion forum Catholic Church in Crisis at the http://www.beliefnet.org website, this is a multi-faith forum and will reach others of many different religious backgrounds.

  They have a discussion on Other Faiths Affected? http://www.beliefnet.com/boards/message_list.asp?boardID=38098&discussionID=135704

  This would be a great way to get the word out!