Another point from Dr. Dyer: You are not responsible for your mother's feelings. She chooses to feel the way she does because of what she tells herself about you, attaching significance to things that are simply matters of personal choice. You should not take it upon yourself to feel responsible for her neurosis. Her neurotic thinking comes from being a slave to what the GB tells her. She has the power to free herself, but the brainwashing has taken. Saying or doing what you can to help her feel better is fine, but do not accept responsibility for her feelings.
Posts by Mum
-
36Part 3: My mother continues to try to ruin me
by sosoconfused ini am not sure if anyone cares, but the drama with my mother and me leaving the org continues.. apparently after todays craptower she goes on a spastic rant that because of my decision i am slowly killing her and my father.
the funny thing is i do not feel bad over this... i can't.. i have children and a wife of my own that i need to be happy for.
i love them - but as they get older and closer to death i realize that a new season is coming and imust care for my family the best way i can... the same way they thought they were doing.
-
-
-
36
Part 3: My mother continues to try to ruin me
by sosoconfused ini am not sure if anyone cares, but the drama with my mother and me leaving the org continues.. apparently after todays craptower she goes on a spastic rant that because of my decision i am slowly killing her and my father.
the funny thing is i do not feel bad over this... i can't.. i have children and a wife of my own that i need to be happy for.
i love them - but as they get older and closer to death i realize that a new season is coming and imust care for my family the best way i can... the same way they thought they were doing.
-
-
Mum
sosoconfused: Your mom is a master manipulator, or so it seems. Dr. Wayne Dyer talks about parents like this in his first book, Your Erroneous Zones. Reading that book was very liberating for me in that it dealt with how to overcome, or at least contain, negative emotions. Dr. Dyer talks about how little it matters whether or not your mother loves you, as you are the same worthwhile person whether or not she does, which is really what matters. He says that if you have to worry, give yourself 10 minutes each morning and 10 minutes each evening, and give in to the worry, then drop it and go on with your real life.
Your mom thinks she is "helping" you. If you need to do something to calm her, go ahead and do it, but understand that the world won't end because of her anxieties.
Best wishes in coping with this situation.
-
26
Would it be too cruel to..............
by Amelia Ashton inyesterday i had a real blast from my past turn up un-announced on my doorstep.
she bumped into my daughter (who has rejected me) in sainsbury's, took her to lunch and got my address from her.
she claims she has been searching for me ever since she discovered i was back in the uk.. she is a disfellowshipped sister who was described by one of our elders as a wagon.
-
-
Mum
She sounds like a niece of mine. One of my nieces claims to be a true believer in the JW religion, but has never practiced it. Clearly the reason why is that she wants to make her own choices and live her own life. She has married well and has a career as a registered nurse. She shows no signs of becoming a JW.
Don't worry about what your friend says. Look at what she does. She sounds like a poor prospect to become a JW. Maybe you guys can talk about other things than JW "theology" when you're together. Without too much talking, simply show her that your life has improved since leaving the JW's.
-
13
Do you think the GB have read COC?
by zound indo you think the governing body have read crisis of concience?.
-
-
Mum
I vote Yes. They have read it and all of the commentaries and other extra-Biblical reference works Ray mentions in the book. Whether it's true or false is of no concern to them. Maintaining control, especially controlling access to information, is what matters to them. Otherwise, they would be repenting in sackcloth and ashes.
-
27
A Positive Comment About The Witnesses
by minimus inmy mom is 87, in a few weeks.
she's been ill for many years.
she's been in the hospital in the last week and is now in rehab.
-
-
Mum
As others have pointed out, I'm happy for you that your mom is being looked after, but she is one of the lucky ones.
That having been said, the local dubs did look after my mom when she was on her last legs as well. My mom waited until she was old and sickly to become a dub, and it paid off for her. To her credit, she did not leave her property or money (of which she had little) to the WT.
When I was a dub, my elder husband forbade me to babysit for JW friends unless it was so that they could go out in service. I got yelled at for babysitting one child so a sister could take her other toddler to the dentist. I also got yelled at for babysitting my Bible study's kids.
-
-
-
Mum
Aren't most of the people on this forum practicing deception in one way or another, e.g. hiding their true identity, masquerading as true-believer JW's so they won't lose their families? Deception has its uses for good.
When I was a small child, "sins" were so clear cut. As one gets older, it's not so cut-and-dried; there's a lot more grey than black or white.
-
15
Hi, from Adamah
by adamah ini'm just stopping in to say "hi!
" to everyone (and is this the right forum?
i didn't see a newcomers intro forum, but maybe i missed it).
-
-
Mum
Welcome! I appreciate the insights.
-
-
-
Mum
Actually, I don't remember. Amazing! I used to cry at the drop of a hat. Now that I care about what I do and not about what anyone else thinks of me or what I do, I'm far less likely to cry. Knowing what's really important and what really isn't - very liberating!
-
42
So what IS wrong with higher Education?
by LoisLane looking for Superman inare the governing body, 8 pope-ettes, just jealous?.
what group of people doesn't want their finest minds to be educated?
(facepalm) .
-
-
Mum
Educated people might challenge the authority of the GB. Their authority is entirely arbitrary because, from all I can perceive, they are self-appointed. The pope has to be elected by a college of cardinals. The pope can be criticized. These GB guys will not tolerate any challenge to their authority or the burdens they put upon their followers.
-
134
Gerrit Loesch was at our DC today!
by goatshapeddemon inso, unexpectedly, the final talk was announced today and to my surprise and evil glee, they announced gerrit loesch as the speaker!
first off, at the beginning of his talk, he interrupted himself in the middle of his sentence to scold the microphone brother to lower my mike it's right in my face.. anyway, it was the talk on inspired truth, vs. inspired falsehoods.
he went through 6 expressions inspired by the demons.
-
-
Mum
He's ready to defend child molestors, but what about the children they molested? Are they engaging in "demon-isnpired expression" if they have nightmares or find it hard to trust other people?
Higher education, as was explained by a professor in a religion class I took, makes people more sensitive to the suffering of others, makes them more aware of reality and truth. People who go to college might not want to shun their brethren just because they had lunch with someone who is disapproved of by janitors and window washers.
Please understand that I am not putting down janitors and window washers for the work they do. Their work is important. The most important jobs (e.g., cleaning, caring for children and elderly, food service, etc.) are to ones with the lowest pay. The point is that people who do these jobs don't have education in psychology or critical thinking to assess others and their motives.