Mum

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Posts by Mum

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  6

  Funeral this Saturday, looking for suggestions

  by Tameria2001 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my husband will be going (unless he has to work) to his jw aunt's funeral this coming saturday (6-29-13).

  he will be riding up with one of his other aunts (not a witness).

  i refuse to go because i just hate those people that much, that if it were my mom's funeral i still would not go.

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  Mum

  I have been to one JW funeral in my post-JW life, my mom's. My mom waited to become a JW until she was too old and sickly to participate. But she had great social skills, and, to her credit, she did not shun me. Some of the JW's were friendly to me. I was with my non-JW cousin Connie, and one of the JW's recognized her from where she worked. The JW spoke to Connie and did not entirely ignore me. I was shunned by one JW who I had known for many years. I said something to the effect that her heart certainly must be full of Jesus (after the funeral), and my non-JW niece laughed. Word must have gotten back to her because she did not shun me on another occasion after that. After all, two of her children had been DF'd.

  The above-stated scenario is not typical!
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  31

  How much have you changed as a person ?

  by Phizzy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was a born-in, and in for over five decades.

  in the comparatively short time since leaving the wt for good, for good in both senses !

  , i feel i have become a very different person, in quite radical ways.. how do you feel you have changed ?.

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  Mum

  In many ways I am 180° from the person I was as a child and young adult. I am no longer withdrawn and can talk to almost anyone about almost anything. I have stood up to bullies. I have read a lot of self-help books. I had a roommate once who said to me, "Mum, there's nothing wrong with you. You're fine. Get rid of all of these self-help books. You don't need them." I disagreed and still do. There's always room for improvement.

  My second husband helped me finish college and get a bachelor's degree. I am still in love with learning, and love being open-minded. I accept other people as they are, whether they be gay, religious, or whatever. I don't try to change what is normal for them, but I can go all "Dr. Laura" if I think they're doing something harmful to themselves or others. I know that I have a lot to learn from others regardless of their station in life.

  Sometimes I have insights and/or premonitions because my mind is now relaxed and I don't fight hunches. I am far less emotional or prone to worry than I was before.

  I have learned to like myself and see myself as a good person.
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  20

  Please clear up a confusion I have Do Christians believe that the AntiChrist will be Satan the Devil in human form?

  by booker-t in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  for years i have been told different scenarios from different christian groups about who the antichrist will be.

  some born agains have told me that the antichrist will be satan the devil stripped of all his powers and trapped in a human body on earth.

  he will still have the same attitude and try to get people to worship him instead of jehovah and jesus.

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  Mum

  Apparently, Obama is the Anti-Christ. I have never heard that it is Satan, although that's as good a theory as any. It could be any politician or political enemy that we hate, which makes it different for everybody.

  My grandmother used to say that the "mark of the beast" is a Social Security card, although she had one. I, however, believe it is Microsoft.
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  140

  WT Society holds EXTREME Responsibility for 1975 and False Expectations

  by flipper in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  however- many jw's who have come into the jw organization from like 1985 forward virtually may have no knowledge of the wt society's 1975 debacle and false predictions of the end times or armageddon predictions.

  just like in in the book 1984 by george orwell the wt society has a way of not only erasing it's history so no newer witnesses will be aware of their false predictions, but also they are re-writing their history as if those false predictions never happened.. so for those of you here who may have never read or heard of how whipped up into an emotional frenzy witnesses were in the years just before 1975 by the wt society claiming the end was any day now- this threads for you.

  to see the pressure that was put on jw's by the wt society to get rid of everything before " armageddon " .

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  Mum

  One of my nieces was born in 1975. She became a dub in her youth, but I am happy to report that she is now free. Some years ago, I told her about the 1975 nonsense, and she told me that individual witnesses ran ahead and made it up. She did not believe me.

  Worf: I don't theink we've heard from you for some time! Welcome back. I met you at the Silentlambs march.
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  36

  Part 3: My mother continues to try to ruin me

  by sosoconfused in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i am not sure if anyone cares, but the drama with my mother and me leaving the org continues.. apparently after todays craptower she goes on a spastic rant that because of my decision i am slowly killing her and my father.

  the funny thing is i do not feel bad over this... i can't.. i have children and a wife of my own that i need to be happy for.

  i love them - but as they get older and closer to death i realize that a new season is coming and imust care for my family the best way i can... the same way they thought they were doing.

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  Mum

  Another point from Dr. Dyer: You are not responsible for your mother's feelings. She chooses to feel the way she does because of what she tells herself about you, attaching significance to things that are simply matters of personal choice. You should not take it upon yourself to feel responsible for her neurosis. Her neurotic thinking comes from being a slave to what the GB tells her. She has the power to free herself, but the brainwashing has taken. Saying or doing what you can to help her feel better is fine, but do not accept responsibility for her feelings.
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  36

  Part 3: My mother continues to try to ruin me

  by sosoconfused in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i am not sure if anyone cares, but the drama with my mother and me leaving the org continues.. apparently after todays craptower she goes on a spastic rant that because of my decision i am slowly killing her and my father.

  the funny thing is i do not feel bad over this... i can't.. i have children and a wife of my own that i need to be happy for.

  i love them - but as they get older and closer to death i realize that a new season is coming and imust care for my family the best way i can... the same way they thought they were doing.

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  Mum

  sosoconfused: Your mom is a master manipulator, or so it seems. Dr. Wayne Dyer talks about parents like this in his first book, Your Erroneous Zones. Reading that book was very liberating for me in that it dealt with how to overcome, or at least contain, negative emotions. Dr. Dyer talks about how little it matters whether or not your mother loves you, as you are the same worthwhile person whether or not she does, which is really what matters. He says that if you have to worry, give yourself 10 minutes each morning and 10 minutes each evening, and give in to the worry, then drop it and go on with your real life.

  Your mom thinks she is "helping" you. If you need to do something to calm her, go ahead and do it, but understand that the world won't end because of her anxieties.

  Best wishes in coping with this situation.
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  26

  Would it be too cruel to..............

  by Amelia Ashton in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  yesterday i had a real blast from my past turn up un-announced on my doorstep.

  she bumped into my daughter (who has rejected me) in sainsbury's, took her to lunch and got my address from her.

  she claims she has been searching for me ever since she discovered i was back in the uk.. she is a disfellowshipped sister who was described by one of our elders as a wagon.

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  Mum

  She sounds like a niece of mine. One of my nieces claims to be a true believer in the JW religion, but has never practiced it. Clearly the reason why is that she wants to make her own choices and live her own life. She has married well and has a career as a registered nurse. She shows no signs of becoming a JW.

  Don't worry about what your friend says. Look at what she does. She sounds like a poor prospect to become a JW. Maybe you guys can talk about other things than JW "theology" when you're together. Without too much talking, simply show her that your life has improved since leaving the JW's.
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  13

  Do you think the GB have read COC?

  by zound in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  do you think the governing body have read crisis of concience?.

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  Mum

  I vote Yes. They have read it and all of the commentaries and other extra-Biblical reference works Ray mentions in the book. Whether it's true or false is of no concern to them. Maintaining control, especially controlling access to information, is what matters to them. Otherwise, they would be repenting in sackcloth and ashes.
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  27

  A Positive Comment About The Witnesses

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my mom is 87, in a few weeks.

  she's been ill for many years.

  she's been in the hospital in the last week and is now in rehab.

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  Mum

  As others have pointed out, I'm happy for you that your mom is being looked after, but she is one of the lucky ones.

  That having been said, the local dubs did look after my mom when she was on her last legs as well. My mom waited until she was old and sickly to become a dub, and it paid off for her. To her credit, she did not leave her property or money (of which she had little) to the WT.

  When I was a dub, my elder husband forbade me to babysit for JW friends unless it was so that they could go out in service. I got yelled at for babysitting one child so a sister could take her other toddler to the dentist. I also got yelled at for babysitting my Bible study's kids.
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  18

  Do you think deception is always immoral?

  by The Quiet One in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  as an example.

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  Mum

  Aren't most of the people on this forum practicing deception in one way or another, e.g. hiding their true identity, masquerading as true-believer JW's so they won't lose their families? Deception has its uses for good.

  When I was a small child, "sins" were so clear cut. As one gets older, it's not so cut-and-dried; there's a lot more grey than black or white.