Gargamel

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Posts by Gargamel

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  23

  Reinstated and then fade

  by Zeds Dead in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i'm a man - d'fd for 2.5 years now and divorced.

  find it hard to date girls out here only due to always having this secret i carry with me that i was once a jw and the thought of telling a girl one day why my family don't acknowledge me as even alive.. recently been thinking of trying to get reinstated and then do a quick fade as i cant go back to the whole jw stuff.. easier said than done and was turned down twice by elders after an immediate attempt 2 years ago.. my motivation for trying would be 1.

  ) to see if family make contact and 2) play the last hand in their game and give the middle finger.. interested in viewpoints?.

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  Gargamel

  One big problem with re-instatement then fade is that you are still subject to their rules - it's just a bit harder to get found out for breaking them.
  
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  20

  Old People Ask..."I'm 88, and my girlfriend is 83, why do we need a chaperone?"

  by TimeBandit in

  1. social
  2. humour

  here's the latest episode of old people ask.

  this episode focuses on chaperones.

  why oh why do old people need them?

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  Gargamel

  So long as you can remember where you live, no chaperone needed.
  
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  New year's Eve 1975 to New Year's Day 1976.

  by Gargamel in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  did anyone else here go a bit odd on new year's eve 1975 to new year's day 1976?.

  i had been out of the org for a couple of years at the time, but not got around to debunking the beliefs.. what my mind went through around the above dates could be regarded as borderline psychotic, though the black hash probably didn't help.. i've just started tackling a first draft writing what i can remember about that period.. it probably wasn't helpful that my jw mother died a week into 1976. she had been ill quite a bit for some years, but after the date for the apocalypse passed, i do wonder if she just gave up.

  prior to that she possibly believed she would never have to die, but once the big a got delayed, maybe she felt that she couldn't face years of illness and the fight went out of her.. i am finding that trying to write my history is a bigger undertaking than i first expected, but i'll do it even if it takes me years..

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  Gargamel

  Did anyone else here go a bit odd on New year's Eve 1975 to New Year's Day 1976?

  I had been out of the org for a couple of years at the time, but not got around to debunking the beliefs.

  What my mind went through around the above dates could be regarded as borderline psychotic, though the black hash probably didn't help.

  I've just started tackling a first draft writing what I can remember about that period.

  It probably wasn't helpful that my JW mother died a week into 1976. She had been ill quite a bit for some years, but after the date for the apocalypse passed, I do wonder if she just gave up. Prior to that she possibly believed she would never have to die, but once the big A got delayed, maybe she felt that she couldn't face years of illness and the fight went out of her.

  I am finding that trying to write my history is a bigger undertaking than I first expected, but I'll do it even if it takes me years.
  
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  24

  When did the governing body go from 12 to 7 members?

  by Tameria2001 in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i have been out and away from that cult since 2001. back then there were 12 members of the governing body, and now i'm learning that number has come down to 7. when did this change take place, and what was their reason for dropping the number?.

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  Gargamel

  Will be interesting when only one is left.
  
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  12

  JWs do Volunteer To Help Worldly Organizations Distribute Food to the Needy

  by Athanasius in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  some months back i posted a topic asking if jws were now encouraged to volunteer their time for charitable organizations, as one of the volunteers who i work with was promoting jw.org to one of the spanish speaking workers.

  because of that, i guessed that he was a jw.. https://www.jehovahs-witness.com/topic/5708790489939968/jws-now-encouraged-volunteer.

  well the other day as he and i were folding and stacking tables after distributing food to the needy, i mentioned that after i retired i got bored and decided to do volunteer work.

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  Gargamel

  I've only ever known JWs to do "charitable" work for other JWs. I'm sure there must be exceptions though.
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  15

  What's your passion???

  by Faith after Deception in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  yesterday, i was feeling very blue.

  this is quite unusual for me, as i tend to be quite an upbeat, positive person, so spells of sadness or depression take me by surprise and are a real shock to the system.

  you know, i don’t believe in “putting on a face” or pretending to be ok; this “fake it ’til you make it” malarkey has never been something i’ve liked.

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  Gargamel

  In recent years I have become passionate about writing. It's not new as it was always part of me, but it became buried under years of difficult life events.

  It was re-triggered a couple of years ago. Like many former JWs, I didn't receive the education that I desired and deserved, I would have done very well academically, but I was 15 in 1972, three years before the system was going to crash down around us. In those days you could still leave school at 15 in the UK, so I did. I was top of the class in German and Spanish, and very close to it in English. Even my maths was in the top 10 per cent.

  I went back to school for evening classes (in my late fifties) to study for maths and English GCSEs (the exams that 16 year olds take). Let's just say that even after forty years without any schooling, I clearly undersold myself.

  So now I write when I'm not too tired. I'm not bothered about it being commercially viable - just as well really! I just enjoy doing it.

  I'll probably go down the self-publishing on Kindle route eventually, but I don't hold out any realistic hopes of making a living from it.

  I enjoy trying my hand at playing with poetry. Creativity has been stifled of late by fatigue. When that happens, I just critique other people's work as it's all part of the learning curve.

  Most of all - IT'S FUN!
  
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  17

  JW over-rode our Choice of Funeral music

  by snugglebunny in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  a few years on and the funeral of my jw momma still galls me.

  she left instructions for which kingdom songs to be sung and we gladly abided by her wishes.

  the funeral was held in a public crematorium, not a kingdom hall.

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  Gargamel

  "So as momma's executors, we just sent the local KH the money that she'd willed to them. We didn't get an acknowledgement."

  ---------------------

  I'm thinking that it might have been better to hold the money in a safe account until they asked for it.

  I wonder if not communicating with the disfellowshipped still counts when they want money from them.

  I'm not suggesting stealing it or using it for one's own purposes, merely to delay paying in order to force them to communicate.
  
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  72

  Single Sisters Over A Certain Age Group Getting A Bad Rap

  by HiddlesWife in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  i'm new here; one of my relatives was a member on this forum a few years ago and told me about it.

  anyways, as a sister who has been in the org since childhood and now in her late 40's (plus as a woman of color), i have noticed that a number of brothers have an ageist attitude.

  they are very accepting of young women under 26 and rejecting women over that age, particularly those in their 30's and over.. is this an unspoken mindset from wthq (specifically from bethel), or is it that quite a number of males (sorry, i'm not sexist here) have this type of mentality?

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  Gargamel

  Although it's generally worse in religions, women have always had a pretty raw deal.

  Voting was a classic example (in the UK). Some even adopted male pen names in order to have written work published.

  Having two world wars in the 20th century changed things as women took on many roles that were traditionally men's. More reliable contraception possibly accelerated the process too.
  
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  19

  Can JWs Use Corporal Punishment On Their Children?

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  can a parent slap or use a "rod of discipline" on their kids?

  i know it's politically incorrect and perhaps illegal, but is it a personal decision based upon the scriptures or is it taboo these days?.

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  Gargamel

  I don't know if things have changed in the UK.

  I left the org, and was pressured out of the family home, in 1973. I was 16. Although I got away lightly with physical punishments, I heard plenty of whackings from the back room and toilet areas. It sometimes seemed like a competition to see who could make their kids scream the loudest.

  My younger sister fell foul of my father's smackings a few times. I don't know if it got worse as she was only 9 when I was shown the exit door. I can still picture a day (at home) when my father was whacking her for some misdemeanour. Naturally, she started crying. He then continued to hit her because she was crying. Logic check: Hit a kid. Kid cries. Hit kid for crying.
  
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  19

  Your opinion about dating sites?

  by nevaagain in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have been a jw all my life, while i also have a "spiritual divorce", which means i can remarry a jw again.

  i am not sure if i want to go that route again and dating in the jw world feels like a struggle sometimes.

  with all the rules.

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  Gargamel

  My take on this, which may or may not be right for you:

  Live your life doing the social things that interest you and make you happy. It doesn't matter what they are- writing club (local library?), reading group, badminton club, rambling/hiking etc. etc.

  You may not meet anyone suitable for a while that way, but you will feel happy. Potential partners (unless they are co-dependent masochists) are more attracted to happy people.

  If your needs are more about "friends with benefits" or just sexual, than about a long-term, committed relationship, at least be honest with her about it. If it's more about sexual curiosity (quite possible for someone from a religion that believes in heavy repression), maybe it would be better to avoid the risk of hurting someone and simply go and pay someone for the experience(s).

  Whichever route you take, I certainly feel that it's better to date initially with a view to discovering yourself without making promises that yu may later need to break.

  Above all, enjoy the journey and - be safe (but not so much that you can't experiment).