Posts by NoRegrets

5

Interview with an Apostate: JeffT(homas)

by JeffT in

tell us a little about yourself and your family.. im 62, retired accountant, free lance writer.

my wife is a just retired preschool teacher.

we have 3 adult children, one granddaughter, who lives with us.

NoRegrets

Really enjoyed this Jeff! I especially enjoyed that you and your wife both had hidden copies of COC!

8

Interview with an Apostate: No Regrets

by NoRegrets in

tell us a little about yourself and your family.. i was raised in a small town congregation that was largely made up of 2 large ruling families/dynasties.

i gave my first talk at age 5 that my mom wrote for me on note cards.

my parents were the first.

NoRegrets

Thanks everyone! Great idea for a thread Simon!

15

Interview with an Apostate: Dazed but not confused

by dazed but not confused in

tell us a little about yourself and your family.. my wife and i are born ins.

we have 2 beautiful children.

whenever i run into jws i knew, they usually give me a hug and tell me they miss me.. how long have you now been out?.

NoRegrets

Thanks for sharing! Really liked the pictures. You have a beautiful family!

6

Interview with an Apostate: troubledmind

by troubled mind in

(she is just a person that is no longer troubled).

we live in a small town in the midwest of the usa .

i work several part time jobs ,do photography as a hobby ,and love collecting fossils ,rocks,and minerals .

Interview with an Apostate: AllTimeJeff

by AllTimeJeff in

tell us a little about yourself and your family.. i was born to jw parents.

which is ok, i haven't actually tried to make new friends.

this is actually a really big deal in my life and one i have been working through.

Interview with an Apostate: Julia Orwell

by Julia Orwell in

tell us a little about yourself and your family.. i have a husband and we've been married nearly three years.

no kids.. were you a born in or a convert?.

convert- converted from atheism in my teens.. are your parents / family jws?.

Interview with an Apostate: No Regrets

by NoRegrets in

tell us a little about yourself and your family.. i was raised in a small town congregation that was largely made up of 2 large ruling families/dynasties.

i gave my first talk at age 5 that my mom wrote for me on note cards.

my parents were the first.

NoRegrets

Thanks for the 'G' Simon! I really enjoyed your story and Cyrus' too!

8

Interview with an Apostate: No Regrets

by NoRegrets in

tell us a little about yourself and your family.. i was raised in a small town congregation that was largely made up of 2 large ruling families/dynasties.

i gave my first talk at age 5 that my mom wrote for me on note cards.

my parents were the first.

NoRegrets

Tell us a little about yourself and your family.

I was raised in a small town congregation that was largely made up of 2 large ruling families/dynasties. I gave my first talk at age 5 that my mom wrote for me on note cards. I still remember the first couple lines.

Were you a born in or a convert?

Born-In

Are your parents / family JWs?

I have a sister who got out. Non-believing grandparents and cousins and uncles. Both parents and my brother are still active JWs.

How many generations have been JWs?

My parents were the first. They came in during the early 1970's push. We've all read the articles and know the real story, but my dad still vehemently denies that the Watchtower hyped 1975. He blamed people for imagining or whatever the scripted deflection from the Society was.

Did you hold any position in the WTS? (MS, Elder etc...)

I auxiliary pioneered frequently during my early teens. Ran sound box and microphones, worked in literature department and was on the fast track to be a very young MS (18). Then I started dating and disobeying my parents over dating and those aspirations started to fade away.

Did you *really* believe in the bible, in spirits (angels, demons)?

I can't remember a time when any of it seemed real to me. I do remember hearing demon stories that really scared me, but I feel like we were kept in a such a numbed and shallow state of mind that things didn't really have a chance to become real.

Did you get baptised? When and why?

11 years old! It wasn't a choice, it was pretty much declared on me that it was time by my parents. I remember having a complete lack of seriousness about it on the day and screwing around in the changing room before we went to the pool. I NEVER dedicated myself to Jehovah in prayer like you're supposed to.

What was the initial trigger that made you start questioning things?

My wife and I got married ONE WEEK after I turned 18 and immediately started getting irregular with meeting attendance and service. When we moved further away from our family, we got even worse with our attendance and almost never went in service. Yet we would go home to visit our family and think that we were fooling them and pretend we were doing more than we were. We were content to do this through our twenties until my sister went through hard times and her marriage ended. She did a complete about face and went from being a pretty active JW to stopping the whole thing all at once. She never was DFed and never wrote a letter so it was a strange sort of limbo she was in. It was territory that I didn't really understand and when she started to get shunned I didn't comprehend. Why were they treating her so badly at a time she needed help the most? I started to learn that it was actually the procedure to drop someone like a hot potato who questioned things. I started to do more research as the publications were quite slippery on the matter of falling away. I got a PDF copy of the elders book which was the most blunt about "falling away being a form of apostasy". I realized that there is no dignified exit from the Witnesses and that you can't simply leave!

Where did you find information? Internet sites? Books?

Definitely the Internet was a huge help in getting information. It was amazing to read old pre-1975 publications. Getting a copy of the secret elders manual was very enlightening, too! I remember visiting this site a lot before ever making the step of creating a profile and posting to the forum. I loved Randy Watters' Free Minds site and read a lot of his experiences of the real way Bethel was. I ordered a copy of Crisis of Conscience and was fascinated by the inside story of the Governing Body. My wife bought Kyria Abraham's "I'm Perfect- You're Doomed" which was a fun and more light-hearted read.

How difficult or painful was the process of leaving?

Pretty hard. I've never felt closeness to my parents, but we were close to the wife's parents and brother and that was a difficult loss. It was an ongoing mess and there were some real highs and lows through it all. It is still difficult and painful almost every day in some way. Often, a TV show or movie that simply depicts a normal or especially happy family can be really hard to watch. Stupid things like that bring me close to tears with a sadness that we never had that and never will.

Was it a big dramatic exit or a careful quiet fade?

Both. I feel like we were fading for years accidentally. We didn't totally wrap our heads around leaving, but we showed what our priorities were by skipping the meetings and not spending our free time in service. Despite that, once my wife vocalized the fact that we had developed doubts in the organization we were immediately branded as apostates and the rumor mill spun out of control in a matter of a few days!

Did you convince anyone else to leave with you?

Not that I know of yet, but I think when someone simply leaves it makes others realize that it is an option and hopefully opens a door for them in the future.

How were your family relations affected by your decision?

This all has torn our family apart. It has even wrecked the relations between my family and non-JW grandparents. Once my grandparents saw how the JWs started treating we who left, they became disgusted and it resulted in a lot of bitter fights. Also, my dad and his brothers got into a screaming fight at least once because he shuns his sister (my aunt) who left.

Were you or are you still being shunned by those who didn't leave?

Yes.

How long have you now been out?

Over 4 years.

Was there anything you looked forward to doing when you left?

Becoming politically active. I've always had an interest in politics and voting or participating in the process was always something I wanted.

What are you most proud of achieving since you left?

Standing on our own feet with no net underneath and making it. My career has flourished, we bought a lovely new home, and I've gotten more involved in my union and politics.

Is there anything you miss about life in the congregation?

Maybe some individual people who were pretty genuine but nothing about the org or the hierarchy of imaginary power and prominence.

Red pill or blue pill? Do you regret waking up to reality at all?

No

Did you become an atheist or transfer your faith elsewhere?

Pretty much atheist with an asterisk. *I don't really know and neither do you.

How do you now feel about religion in general?

Cynical. Even some of the most modern or progressive religions have weird nuances or else they are almost devoid of spirituality.

Do you feel any guilt celebrating xmas or birthdays or doing any other JW "no-no"s?

No guilt but a lot of sadness. I'm sitting by our lovely X-mas tree right now and I love looking at it yet it reminds me of something I was robbed of growing up. I remember buying our first tiny little table top tree a year after we left and having a custom ornament made for our "first Christmas". I almost broke down crying in the store. I really felt like a victim.

Have you attended any face-to-face meetups of ex-JWs?

Yes. There is one in our city that meets once a month. We went a few times but felt it was a negative atmosphere and the group leaders were too hung up on something they had been out of for decades.

Describe your circle of friends - mostly other ex-JWs or regular people?

Most of our circle of friends are current or former co-workers.

Do you tell people about your JW past?

Sometimes. Less than I used to. I used to want to shout it from the rooftops to anyone and everyone. Now, I get going about it if someone is interested by it, but don't always bring it up.

Do you feel animosity or pity toward current JWs?

Both. They are victims yet they are accomplices to the crime.

How do you respond to witnesses when they call at your door?

I had an older lady come with the magazines that I felt sorry for. She was so nervous with her sad little rehearsed presentation and I just couldn't be mean to her. I took the magazines. We had a former elder call on us and I was nicer to him than I should have been maybe, but I think that rattles the mind control more when you aren't a flaming and hate-filled apostate. I just had one at the door yesterday with a tract campaign and I took the tract, held it and looked at it and just handed it back and said "No thanks".

Storm the barricades or tend to the wounded? (do you favor activism or support)

Activism will only validate their persecution complex. I think support and patience is the best route. The age of information will continue to decimate them as all of their dirty little secrets from the past are readliy accessible, especially online.

What do you think is the most effective approach to reaching people still in?

Living a happy successful life and showing the example of not "being eaten alive by the world" might be the best method.

Do you think the WTS can or should be destroyed, will continue on as-is or grow / change?

I think any group that ostricizes former members is dangerous and should be labeled as a hate group. They should certainly not be classified as a major (and tax-exempt) religion.

How has your life been impacted by your JW past?

I feel it kind of ruined my life in some ways because you are damaged by the experience and you can never completely wash your hands of it. I miss a lot of my former friends and JW family that I can no longer see.

Are there things in your life you blame the WTS for?

I gesture to a ridiculous degree. I blame that on the Ministry School.

JW upbringing - a protection or a curse?

Curse. There might have been some bad choices that you avoid being raised a JW, but you don't have freedom. There is no freedom to make right or wrong choices. Your life is mapped out for you.

How do you fill your time now it's not filled with meetings and field service?

I play music a lot. We have a much more thriving social life. We fill our time living our own life, not someone elses!

Do you still have an interest in JW beliefs and doctrines?

Yes, but it is diminishing the further we get from it.

How much of your time is still spent on JW related matters?

Very little.

What do you think of the ex-JW community?

There are some great people here and elsewhere, but there are a lot of people that still act like JWs with a different set of beliefs. I believe that we all have the freedom to believe whatever we want period! No strings attached!

Do you see yourself still being associated with the ex-JW community in 5 or 10 years time?

Yes

Do you fear the future?

Yes, some.

What advice would you give to anyone starting the journey of leaving the WTS?

If you don't have the beliefs anymore, quit wasting your time and get out!

What would you change in your life if you could go back and talk to yourself?

I wish we wouldn't have wasted all the years sitting on the fence.

Do you have any regrets about life since you left?

My screen name is "No Regrets" but that's not the case. I have no regrets about quitting the JWs, but there are many other things I could have done better or sooner or not done.

Can we read your life-story anywhere? (links to online or books)

Only on here. I have a few different introductory threads.

Thanks for listening!

No Regrets

Want to share your own story? Please use the Interview with an Apostate: Template and post it in the Personal Experiences & Reunions section with the title "Interview with an Apostate: [your name or alias]"

21

Interview with an Apostate: OnTheWayOut

by OnTheWayOut in

tell us a little about yourself and your family.. my mother joined the frenzy when the end of the world was coming in 1975. her sister-in-law was first recruited and got her in.

when the end didnt come, mom was disfellowshipped shortly afterward, but she went back a few years later.

i did not care to go with her.

NoRegrets

I enjoyed this very much! Best wishes in your continued journey!

13

District Convention drama practice

by hoser in

this experience goes back some time too.

it was one of the defining moments in helping me to wake up to this nonsense.. .

i had a minor role in a drama several years ago.

NoRegrets

There was a nice elder who used to always wear colored dress shirts instead of white shirts under his suit coat. He endured a lot of criticism for it which is hard to fathom now. He got his revenge when we had a new CO come to the circuit who almost always wore colored dress shirts including some very bright and bold colors like teal or dark purple. That was the end of the tongue wagging!