Posts by pamkw

7

Oppositional Defiance Disorder

by outnfree in

i have always felt that my goal as a parent should be to raise healthy (where it is up to me), happy, well-adjusted children who will be a credit to society.

for the most part, i think i'm succeeding.

despite and because of my past involvement with jehovah's witnesses.

pamkw

Hi again,

It was one to the hardest things I ever did sending Blake to the hospital. It was 3 hours away from me in
Kansas City, Ks. And I left him there for a week. I hated it, they only had vistiation in the evening
and I only go visit one time. But I knew if someone else could see how he was, that maybe
we could get him some help.

I held off a long time not wanting to see Blake's problems. When they said he was adhd, I was so
sad. But this year when they told me he was odd, I was relieved, I knew there was more wrong
than just adhd. From email lists I have been on with other partents of adhd children, alot of these
disorders run together, it is called comorbidty (I probably have the spelling wrong). I guess
I am saying that it is not uncommon to have more than one problem.

The increased meds seemed to work well this week. Blake went a whole week with no office
refferals. That is a miracle in itself.

I guess you just have to do what you can to help you kids. And you have to ignore how you might
feel about it. But there are times I really feel like I must have done something to cause all this,
then I think, get real, stuff happens.

Though somedays I wish for kids that just were not so hard to deal with.

Talk later,
Pam

4

another molestation story...

by Dogpatch in

http://www.vvdailypress.com/cgi-bin/newspro/viewnews.cgi?newsid987298017,12151,.

adelanto man takes molestation plea.

for weekends in jail.

pamkw

So the elders investigated and decided it never happened.

elders: hey , did you do this awful thing.

pervert: No, of course not.

There you have it, it never happened. Glad to see someone in the situation had the brains to do
what was right.

Pam

3

Hate mail---hey Thinker's Wife...

by Mommie Dark in

jw
friends

i got a fresh hate mail this morning from [email protected].

but when i replied, i got a message saying rannie wasn't receiving mails from my addy!.

rofl at the cowardice of these anonymous trolls!.

pamkw

Hey, I got one too. I just deleted it. I am not going to waste my time writing back.

Pam

29

curious

by bonnie38 in

jw
friends

i wonder what the percentage is of ex-jws who become involved in other organized religions.

i had a discussion with a psychiatrist friend recently.

he told me that i am a "psychiatric anamoly," that most "devout" people who leave a religion will join another and become as devout in their new religion.

pamkw

I am a ex-witness that attends church. The church I go to does not stress rules, but your personal
relationship with God. It is a church full of misfits, ex-druggies, ex-drunks, ex-just about anything.
I enjoy the church because I have made some great friends there. and I enjoy the fact that if I
don't want to go I don't have too. No one watching to see how many times you miss. No dress code,
the pastor wears blue jeans, and loud Hawaiian shirts. And they have a praise band, that will rock
your socks off. It is not your normal kind of church. But if they ever started in with alot of rules, and
junk like that, I would leave in a heartbeat. I have a better relationship with God now, than I did as
a jw, and that is what really counts.

Pam

7

Oppositional Defiance Disorder

by outnfree in

i have always felt that my goal as a parent should be to raise healthy (where it is up to me), happy, well-adjusted children who will be a credit to society.

for the most part, i think i'm succeeding.

despite and because of my past involvement with jehovah's witnesses.

pamkw

I forgot to add this part to my last post. We have a whole truck load of therapist to help us here in S
Salina. Blake has a case manager, I have a therapist, and a wraparound manager, and Blake has his
own theapist, and we are going to start family counseling also, to help Brandon.

the wraparound manager is someone who once a month brings together all the people that work with
Blake, me, therapist, teachers, relatives, coaches, whoever, and we compare notes on how best to help
Blake. We only stress positive things, it is not a place to say bad things about him.

This makes for losts of appointments, and more stress for me, but I am giving it a try to see if it will
help. I have met alot of other parents on email lists for kids with adhd and other emotional problems.
I recently got off the lists because it made me so depressed, to see what I may have to deal with.
But now that I know Blake is also odd, I may have to get back on them.

All we can do is get by and do our best.
Pam

7

Oppositional Defiance Disorder

by outnfree in

i have always felt that my goal as a parent should be to raise healthy (where it is up to me), happy, well-adjusted children who will be a credit to society.

for the most part, i think i'm succeeding.

despite and because of my past involvement with jehovah's witnesses.

pamkw

Hi Mommie Dark,

My son was diagnosed by a psychiatrist, at the local mental health center, I was sent there last year
by my GP for testing for adhd. This last spring I sent Blake to a pediatric psycology ward for a week to
be observed. That is where they decided he was also ODD. Now with meds, he acts like a typical
little boy. As onery as ever, but not so moody, and does not have these horriable rages. Now when
he starts to rage, he is able to get himself under control with a little help from whoever is
taking care of him, me or the school.

I fought the doctors and the teachers for years before I put him on meds last year. I did everything else
I could think of first. But now I know that he could not survive without medicine. We do have to
take blood tests every so often to check the drug levels, but that is a small thing compared to how
much better his life is all around.

Thanks for the good post.
Pam

7

Oppositional Defiance Disorder

by outnfree in

i have always felt that my goal as a parent should be to raise healthy (where it is up to me), happy, well-adjusted children who will be a credit to society.

for the most part, i think i'm succeeding.

despite and because of my past involvement with jehovah's witnesses.

pamkw

Hi outnfree,

I understand just what you are saying. It sounds like you live at my house. Blake also has a warped
sense of humor, and doesn't know what is truly funny and what is being mean. He is very defient at
school, doesn't want to do his work, etc. And at home, he is a big NAG, beg, beg, want, want. He is the
most demanding person I know. He is now on depakote, and adderal, since he is adhd also, and he takes
trazdone at night to help him sleep.

I have know for over a year about the adhd, but I knew there was something more. He was also so
angry,and could rage for hours at a time. I had him put in the hospital in March. That is when they
started the depakote. This does seem to help his rages.

But I know how you feel, I do not take him to stores, or any place if I think he will not be able to keep
it together. He also has behavior counseling a couple times a month, and this summer, I am putting him
into a group a couple days a week, just for kids with emotional disorders.

I read a bunch of stuff on the web about ODD, and it makes me soo sad. I was telling my sister,
Oh my God, my kid might end up in jail.

I don't always cope very well, and I am glad now that I am divorced, my ex husband would not be able
to handle the way Blake has become.

I really don't know what to say, we just get by some days.

You are not alone,
Pam

7

Glad I am no longer a jw parent.

by pamkw in

jw
friends

i have been thinking lately how differently i raise my kids now as compared to when i was a jw.

my oldest son had the bad luck to have a mom who was trying to be the perfect jw single mom.

i. was really mean to him at times.

pamkw

Hi everyone,

I have been thinking lately how differently I raise my kids now as compared to when I was a jw.
My oldest son had the bad luck to have a mom who was trying to be the perfect jw single mom. I
was really mean to him at times. And when I wasn't I had elders telling me to beat his butt. But
Brandon was a quiet kid, who like to draw during the meetings, so he really was no problem.

My 9 year old son Blake is ADHD and ODD. Which means he can not sit still or be quiet ever. And he
part of his problem is he likes to annoy people. If I were still a jw, his life would be hell. I would
probably be in jail for child abuse. Because most jws think the only way to train your children is
to beat them. And with a child like him spankings have no effect.

Brandon sometimes gets angry because I do not treat Blake the same way I did him. I tell him that
I didn't know any better then, but I am alot smarter now.

Looking back, I see that there is never any leeway for kids with speical needs in the congregations.
They all had to be quiet and sit still, with no colorbooks or toys to help them. That is hard even for
so called 'normal' kids. For kids like Blake it must be a nightmare. The one good thing, is when my
boys are visiting grandma, she no longer tries to take Blake to the meetings. When ever she did,
they left early because she couldn't handle him.

Having a child like Blake gives me lots of stress, but I would have had even more if I were still jw.

Pam

5

Another JW fantasy

by NikL in

jw
friends

contrairy to popular belief, jws have fantasies.

wheras mine usually involve a wild night of passion, jw fantasies seem to involve something else.

read the following e mail and see what i mean.... dear joe, .

pamkw

I guess this was after the big dead body clean up. That just about made me sick.

Pam

26

jWs Musing about the Big 'A'

by Tallyman in

jw
friends

* http://www.witnessesonline.com/cgi-bin/cgiwrap/witnessesonline/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=21&t=000024

pamkw

What a nice group of people. How can anyone get happy about a lot of people getting killed.
The people on that board were all so self-rightous, it made me sick.

Pam