Flossycat

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Posts by Flossycat

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  12

  Funny Conversation

  by TOTH in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so i was outside today cleaning the inside of my car and up stroll two jw's.

  they have been around here a lot the past couple of weeks.

  lol anyways i don't know either of these two clowns and they ask how i am and i said not to ask.

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  Flossycat

  ROFL
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  55

  How Many Years have your JW Relatives Shunned You ?

  by flipper in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i felt with newer members coming on and other jw fence sitters lurking it might be a good thing to explain what many of us have had to go through in regards to being shunned, cut off, ostracized from our jw families in an unjust way .

  whether we are dfed or inactive - many of us have shared this same fate and ill treatment.

  for many of us- it makes us stronger, more firmly entrenched that the decision we made to exit the jehovah's witness organization was the correct decision as no organization that claims to be " christian " would ever commit such horrid atrocities or justify it !

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  Flossycat

  First wanna say, 'wha happened':- since joining the forum late January I just love your commentaries

  Since writing my autobiographical novel 2 years go, about life in and out of the JWs, I've become the apostate - self-explanatory.

  Before that, particularly between 1980- 2002 (when my dear, gentle, 'sit-on-the-fence/torn' dad passed away) I never knew what kind of reception I'd get from my JW mother, bros&sis's and JW in-laws. Sometimes it was cordial; other times got the door slammed in my face (figuratively speaking). Here's just a couple of instances:

  In my early 20s when my non-JW husband went to jail I didn't tell them. He ended up on a prison farm outside Melbourne - in one of my sister's 'territory'. One evening I get this phone call from her.She hadn't spoken to me in a couple of years because of my 'unchristian' life style. And she starts accusing me of being a liar because I hadn't told the family my husband had gone to jail. It was a time of my life when I really could have done with some comforting words like: is there something I can do to help you? Nope - accusations, lectures and ultimatums: "If you don't tell mum, I will." I just said, I'm not going to tell mum. She didn't speak to me for 12 years. It was me who eventually wrote a letter to her asking her to bury the hatchet. I found out through mum that she'd said 'ok'. btw when we were JWs my sister and I had been very close. It was a shock how she just turned on me.

  After I got divorced and got a new boyfriend, even though he wasn't a JW either, she was relieved, and ok about me coming to visit with him - told us we had to sleep in separate bedrooms Boyfriend found it highly amusing. Couple of months later I rang mum and dad to say we'd be up country to visit. Mum said, apologetically, sorry, no can do - the CO or DO (can't remember which) and wife were staying with them that week (in their own caravan in back yard). It would put everyone in an awkward situation if I was there. I (still believing the JWs were the true religion) understood - but my boyfriend was livid: "They call themselves Christians, and they're ostracising their own daughter for some upstart minister. Your mother needs her mouth washed out with soap and water. No - make that her brain washed out!" This was his first real taste of JW-the-chosen-elite type thinking.

  When my Dad was hit with aggressive cancer and didn't have long to go I spent weekends with mum and dad. During this time my whole JW family were nice to me. At his funeral most JWs I'd known since childhood were friendly to me. 2 reasons: 1/to put on a good face in front of nonJW friends and family; 2/because they were hoping their friendliness would lead me to repentance... After Dad's passing things quickly went pear-shapped: Visiting mum one weekend, on the last day a MS showed up out of the blue. Mum and I were sitting in the kitchen almost finished lunch. She told me I had to leave the room. With spoon still in hand I looked at her wide-eyed and asked, "Why?" She said, "You know why - because you're disfellowhipped, and Carl can't speak to you." And I said, "But I haven't finished lunch." And resumed eating.

  That was the beginning of the end between mum and my JW family. More s...t went down but won't go on here. The bottom line was I found out - whilst Dad was alive he'd stipulated to mum that I was welcome home ANYTIME. Once he'd gone, she had full control. She'd always called herself a spiritual widow. Little did she realise Dad had a billion times more spirituality than the JWs.
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  2

  anyone regret sending a diss letter or regret what they put in it.

  by serein in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  when i sent my diss letter to my cong i was real fedup at the time with them calling on me every five mins,.

  they never ever gave me any space to think i felt rushed into it,.

  as i figured the only way i could get them off my back was to say never come to my door ever again and take my adress of the call list,.

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  Flossycat

  Yeah, it's the guilt trip they send that often gets us doing or saying things we otherwise wouldn't have. In my mid 20s (I'm 53), I wrote a D/A letter - not because they were harrassing me; they weren't - I'd moved to another part of Melbourne where no one knew me. And I'd stopped associating with any JWs; hardly ever saw my own JW family, even. So I wrote the letter out of guilt, and defiance, and on top of that, still thought the elders had authority over my life. In hindsight, I didn't need to tell them anything. It's none of their business.

  In your case I can see how you just needed them to get off your back. An dear friend who's now departed this world (and never been a JW or any religion) once told me: Never regret anything, no matter how much sadness, anger, pain; because one day down the track you'll realise it was the best thing to do 'at that time'. He told me: Even what we perceive as mistakes or wrongs we've made, are 'right' - because it's where we're at in our path in life.

  Look for the positives at this time of your life that can come from this. Sometimes I make lists of the pros and cons of a given situation. Writing it all down helps - that's why this forum is so good:)
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  41

  Answer I got to the UN association.

  by Inisc in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so, this a long story but i'll try to keep it short.

  this was about 2years ago,.

  my wife brought up the un thing to my parents, much to their horror and despite me advising her not to.

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  Flossycat

  Thank you, Inisc and Blond-moment, Crofty and all, for such powerful info.

  My mother, bros&sisters are all JWs... (Dad passed away 10 years ago, a sitter-on-the-fence who loved talking to me secretly about JW hypocrisy - miss him terribly)..totally closed-minded despite glaring evidence around them. For me, it's a matter of: Can't change others' reactions/responses - but we can change our own reactions to their reactions. Show them love, care, and tenderness.

  Look forward to your next encounter, Blond-moment.

  Flossycat, Melbourne, Australia
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  13

  Tendencies toward fanaticism

  by Terry in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  in a "cause and effect" world detached from logical fallacy we probably would have an enormous drop in fanatical thinking and behavior.. but, we don't.. some of us fall prey to fallacious thinking.

  we fail to sort out the facts.

  we group our "cause" and our "effects" out of synch with actual data.. .

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  Flossycat

  Fear must be the most powerful emotion. (Isn't hatred born from fear?) I wonder if part of the equation is providing/nurturing atmosphere of safety. Cults exploit feelings of insecurity/fear.

  Like your thread, Terry
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  29

  WTF Jesus doing last 98 years?

  by Evolutionary in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  hey, i left when i was 19 about 21 years ago over evolution.

  dad encouraged me to look up the references in _life: how did it get here?

  by creation or evolution?_.

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  Flossycat

  I'm with WTWizard's research
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  7

  Watchtower Identifies Brainwashing

  by Marvin Shilmer in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  watchtower identifies brainwashing.

  today i added a new article to my blog.

  as it turns out, the watchtower organization does a pretty fair job identifying at least one technique of brainwashing.

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  Flossycat

  Good one, TheTrueOne I'm glad you wrote that. Read on the net couple of years back, about a hypnotherapist in Brisbane, Australia, who'd been to a few JW meetings for research, and said their teaching/meetings techniques are based on hypnosis. Wished I'd taken note of his name
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  14

  THE SEASON IS NEAR AT HAND!

  by justmom in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  well ......here we are agian.

  april 5th 2012 memorial season.. now, for many many of us here that know and understand what the wtbs really is and...what it isn't, the truth, you may wonder why would anybody want to put themselves out there and actually go the kingdom hall this year ?.

  for me and my family who have been disfellowshipped for fourteen years for disagreeing and standing up for the real truth (they called it apaostacy) and my husband partook of the emblems for many years inside as a witness.

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  Flossycat

  So much anger and resentment. You might like to read The Jesus Mysteries by Timothy Freke and Peter Gandy?
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  24

  At last....I made the connection with an old friend...who is a practising Pagan

  by Pams girl in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  im the nervy, anxious type.

  i suffer with panic attacks and sometimes my agoraphobia cripples me.

  the organisation effectively isolated me fo a long time.

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  Flossycat

  Thanks for info - that could be invaluable.
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  15

  Once used always used........?

  by Azazel in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  well ive been df now for 15 months and not a peep from my lifelong "friends".

  no hey az how ya doin still hanging in?

  no but in the space of a couple of days two requests.. ask not what they can do for me but what i can do for them!.

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  Flossycat

  Reminds me of when I was newly married (to a non-JW psychopath who I mistakenly thought was converting before we got married - but that's another story). I wasn't D/F nor D/A'd at that stage, and I'd moved from one side of Melbourne (from my beautiful JW friends - well, some of them were) to the other side where I knew no-one. Life had quickly hit the skids and I was out of control, way in over my head with this guy. I'd also stopped going to the meetings and door-to-door, which was playing heavily on my conscience.

  So one day I rang an older 'sister' who I'd gotten along with really well, and we used to go out witnessing a lot together. AND she was one of the supposed 144,000/remnant. I was desperate for someone to help me get my head straight, and I thought she'd be so spiritual and helpful. She asked me if I'd been to the meetings at the Carlton congo. When I said no, she balled me out about being selfish, having no consideration for my (JW) family, no love for Jehovah, and to just get back to the meetings, pray, and go out witnessing again.

  I ended up calling an exJW/DF girlfriend I'd known well when we were both JWs. Turned out she was in a very similar situation to me! And even though she was barely able to do anything to support/help me, still, she was worth her weight in gold. We had each other to comiserate with.

  That was 33 years ago. Since then I've had exJWs tell me how they've felt used by JWs. There could be some essence to what you said about the up-coming memorial, and it's their way of trying to get a bit closer to you to try get you back to meetings/association. Essentially the JW religion is a very selfish one. A wise person once told me: selfishness isn't doing what you want - selfishness is demanding others to do as you want.

  Love the red face/so over that stinking cult