Xandria

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Posts by Xandria

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  17

  Formula for a perfect marriage

  by BoozeRunner in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  it is important to find a woman that cooks and cleans.

  2. it is important to find a woman that makes good money.

  3. it is important to find a woman that likes to have sex.

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  Xandria

  Um just remember what is good for the Gander is good for the Goose. An God Help you if all three do meet. HELL hath no fury....

  Xandria
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  42

  If rich, what would you do?

  by larc in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  if you had so much money that you didn't have to work, how would you spend your time?

  i will be back later to see what you have to say.

  i am going to bed, having been up after my bed time.

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  Xandria

  I would pay off all debt, give my dad enough $$$ to retire on and enjoy life, help my sisters out some, make sure they prepare themselves better for life's challenges, help friends, and travel & enjoy life ... then either start a program for recovering exjw's and a home for young jw's who were thrown out of their homes b/c they were d/f or d/a.

  I may not be rich in $$$ but I am $$$ in love.

  IF love was money I would be a freaking millionare.

  Xandria
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  21

  Shunned - a cycle of pain and hate

  by refiners fire in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  guess what?

  shunning isnt just a dub problem, it goes on out in the" world "too.

  its used as a weapon to punish and hurt people.

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  Xandria

  From the moment the umbilical cord is cut, children begin those first steps towards independence. While most parents would agree that they want to see their children grow into well adjusted and self-sufficient adults, just as many would admit that letting go is hard to do. Barbara Burrill of Positive Parenting believes the reason for this is because it leaves parents with a sense of loss. "There's no more pleasing love than that of a preschooler who relies so much on the security of the home for his own feelings of safety. As they grow up, bit-by-bit they relinquish that and bit-by-bit parents feel a sense of loss. The whole process of growing up is kids pushing to be let go and parents struggling to determine when is it right to let them go."
  
  If you're having a great deal of difficulty in letting your child become more independent, you may want to ask yourself if you're being over-protective. Parenting instructor Mary Gordon says "a good gauge of knowing if you're being over-protective or being fair is by asking yourself what are the other kids doing, how are they handling it, is my child like the other children or not? If my child isn't like the others, how can I help my child to be ready to do things the other children are doing? We don't do our children a favor by holding them back if they are ready. We do them a favor to make them ready."
  
  Gordon adds "sometimes you can get a good balance of how you're assessing things by talking to the child's teacher and finding out what kinds of freedoms others have or that the teacher sees as appropriate. This will give you a range of what is typically expected behavior of that age group. Over-riding this is the child's temperament. For example a child with a nervous temperament may not be ready to do something for a year after the child's age mates are ready."
  
  Letting go is hard to do. But helping our children find independence in an age appropriate manner will, in the long run, help them grow into independent adults just as nature intended.

  Parents that control are harming their children much more than they think. There is a difference between protecting them and over protecting them. An a difference of controlling every breath they freaking take !!

  My mother was a mixture of overprotective and CONTROL MONSTER!!!. The mother you described could of easily been mine. She is very mentally unstable and needs to get help. This enviroment is not the best for the children and it is abusive.

  Xandria
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  15

  What the Hell am I Doing in Brazil?

  by D8TA in

  1. jw
  2. friends

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  http://hometown.aol.com/statuemonkey/myhomepage/profile.html

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  Xandria

  D8TA :

  Hope you have a great time there. There are language differences...and yes you will feel the culture differences. Brazil is more of a mixture of Portugese and Spanish then just spanish. It is a true blend of many. I have many friend there and my family is from Spain and Mexico so I can relate to the shock of experiencing the differences. Autobus .. is not a Autobus in some places. It is known as a WA WA . Aaaah the joys of travel and the language screw ups that can be embarassing!!!!!

  Xandria
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  24

  Shunned father's daughter dies

  by Rado Vleugel in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the 17-year-old jehovah's witness daughter of shunned father died thursday of leukemia.

  read this sad story and previous stories on http://www.watchtowerinformationservice.org/.

  rado vleugeledited by - rado vleugel on 6 september 2002 1:55:36.

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  Xandria

  That is SO sad.

  My heart goes out to the family.

  Xandria
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  2

  The Ex Jw Kids

  by Xandria in

  1. social
  2. entertainment

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  this is a recent sketch i have been working on it is a work in progress.

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  Xandria

  This is a recent sketch I have been working on it is a work in progress.
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  34

  I HAVE CANCER

  by Mary in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i found out the other day that i have endometrial cancer.

  needless to say, i'm shocked, angry and desperate.

  i blame this on my incompetent doctor who did absolutely nothing when i first went to him two years ago and said "there's something wrong here.

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  Xandria

  Unfortunately Mary many doctors do not take the time for testing. They cram appointments so close together that they are rushing to get through your exam. Or even worse they make you feel like you are wrong in asking questions. It is YOUR body and you know when something is not right. Trust your instincts. Ask for second, third, forth opinions. If a doctor doesn't know something he /she should say so and find out. When a doctor stops learning that is dangerous not only to his career, but to the person coming to see him or her.

  I had been in more stir ups than the LONE RANGER through out my life looking for answers. I have had Thyroid tests, you name it tests! Finally it came out... that I was suffering from PCOS which can lead to endrometrial cancer. IF not monitored.

  (((( HUGS )))) and best wishes.

  Xandria

  Edited by - xandria on 5 September 2002 21:25:47
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  57

  Should the boyfriend sleep over??

  by Beck_Melbourne in

  1. social
  2. family

  just a question to you parents out there.

  i've never had teenagers before, so i'm kinda new at this.

  my eldest daughter is 17 this month...and we have discussed the 'pill'.

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  Xandria

  I am sure you have spoking to you teenage daughter. I am sure that if you tell her the rules to allowing this sleep over she will respect that, and if you have done the following I am sure she will respect this. 1) You are trusting her to follow your household rules. 2) This is a trust thing. You have educated her, instilled morals and values. 3) Now it comes down to this question do you trust your daughter to do the right choices ?

  I am if you spoke to your daughter about what you expect during this sleep over, I am sure she can handle that. That you have influenceable children to think about and you do understand that she has feelings for her b/f that if she can keep it to kissing zone. She understand that her younger siblings look up to her. Beside how UNCOMFORTABLE would it be for them to be in their parents home and sexual ? I don't think this would be how she would imagine herself having sex. Where is the romance in a quick, stressed out coupling. I mean your parents can walk in at any moment. Give your daughter more trust and credit than that.

  Xandria

  THE BIG INFLUENCE OF PARENTS

  Parental attitudes and the attitudes of adults (coach, teacher, etc.) are significant to the preteen, tween, or teen are positive predictors of the childs comfortable attitudes about premarital sex. The adults attitudes about adolescent sexual intercourse and father-child communication have been shown to be extremely important factors. Adult discussion of sexual values is a significant predictor of teen sexual attitudes and behaviors.

  Whether you discuss sexuality directly or not with your child, your values, unspoken attitudes, gawking and talking all have impact. For example, your self-esteem and your emphasis on the self-esteem of the child is positively related to deliberate delayed onset of sexual experimentation and to satisfaction with their decision when they do deliberately choose to become sexually active. On the other hand sexual behavior that contradicted personal values and the values of significant adults is associated with lower self-esteem and emotional distress. We adults do play a significant role in kids sexual attitude development and future behavior.

  Recently YM magazine discovered tween and teen reasons for waiting to have sex. After the old standbys of fear of pregnancy and of catching a dread disease, the kids mentioned anxiety about their reputation with peers and adults and a desire to avoid trouble with parents. Kids are concerned about what parents and significant adults think and dont generally want to deliberately displease them.

  One of the most comprehensive studies of teens found that the more parents and other adults talk to kids about sex and its consequences, the less likely they are to engage in it prematurely and casually.

  Study after study has shown that it is ignorance, not knowledge, about sex that creates problems. Kids crave information about relationships, becoming sexually active, and avoiding pregnancy and STDs. The basic birds and bees is not enough.

  A recent survey by Roper Starch for SIECUS shows that more than half the teens who are sexually active wish they had waited longer to start. At the same time, it is proven that kids whose parents and significant adults talk to them about sex are less likely to have sex early.
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  31

  help identifying berries.........

  by scootergirl in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i need some help identifying a berry bush that is in my backyard.

  i have tasted the berries and they are on the sour side, they also have a pit on the inside of them (or at least the one i tried did........gonna wait awhile before i try another).

  whatever they are they have come ripe w/in the past week.

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  Xandria

  Scootergirl:

  I would either take them to a Nursey Store or Botanist at a University. Many Colleges have students who are learning and this would be a opportunity for them to learn to identify a plant type or orgin. An if it is eatible or not.

  If so.. then you have a wonderful plant. An oooh the jam possiblities.

  Xandria
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  13

  this just isn't my day, [:(]

  by orangefatcat in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  today has been as rough day for me.

  i got up this morning hoping our van would pass the ontario emission tests for clean driving.

  we put 400.00 dollars to make sure it would pass and it didn't pass it failed and to beat that we are at our daughters home a couple of hours away from our home.

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  Xandria

  ((( HUGS ))) I know how you feel I lost my mom on Sept. 1, 1994 so another anniversary passed.

  Hang in there.

  Xandria