Skippy - Your mustard story is hilarious!
I've told this story before on other threads. We had a CO in Massachusetts who was completely out of touch with reality. He used to brag that he'd never held down a full-time job (pioneer-bethel-CO). It became obvious when he started spewing his opinons.
He condemned anyone who failed to wash their dinner dishes before coming to the meeting.
He railed against the louts who didn't brush their teeth before a meeting.
I remember sitting there thinking, "I get home from work at 6:15 and it's a 7:00 meeting. Which one is it - wash the dishes or brush the teeth? Cause I can't do both and make it to the meeting."
This same CO swept through the circuit and imperiously insisted that the seating arrangement in every hall be rearranged - even the ones that had theater seats bolted to the floor. Then he instituted a policy that upon entering the hall for a meeting each publisher had to apply to an attendant who would escort them to a seat, filling up each row, starting with the front row - no seat left empty.
The elders all hated him - marathon elders' meetings, no excuses for failing to appear for field service on Wednesday evening (he'd even use the circuit assembly as an opportunity to shame any congregation that had less than 100% of the publishers out on the Wednesday evening of his visit), and he'd work only with children out in service.
He was a pompous ass, but the kids loved him.