The District Convention™ really slammed home to most JWs the importance of Loyalty to Jehovah™, even when important family matters come up. If it interferes with Meetings™ and Field Service™ then you're expected to go to the back of the bus, especially if you are No Longer One Of Jehovah's Witnesses™. If there was someone Studying™, who was never a JW, and *they* were in a car accident, you can bet your sweet bippy they'd be all over that person like a dirty shirt, demonstrating what Loving™ Christians™ they are. But for people like us, we aren't even worth an email or a phone call, much less an in-person visit.
I totalled my car 10 years ago, and called my mom afterward. She asked if I was ok and were the kids ok. Once she was reassured that we weren't injured (save for some whiplash that needed physiotherapy) she excused herself because she had company. She said she would call back, but she didn't.
I had surgery a few years ago, and again called my mom to let her know, and to find out some family history that might be important for the surgeon to know. I was home recuperating for 3 months and didn't even get a call, or even a get well card, from my JW parents. I could have died in the OR and they wouldn't have found out because they never effing bothered to call.
Last year, I was off work on sick leave for 3 months. Same damn thing. I spent a weekend with my sister and actually stopped in to visit my parents on the way there, but they wouldn't even answer their effing door for me.
Yet, if I don't send them a card for their wedding anniversary (which I forgot to do leading up to my surgery) my mother has a bloody coniption fit and complains that I'm a terrible daughter. You'd think maybe they'd clue in that maybe, just maybe, something was wrong with me and it wasn't all about *them* at the time.
All that to say, I get you, I really do. *hugs*