ShaunaC

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Posts by ShaunaC

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  39

  I give up...

  by MrMoe in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i give up... well amost.... simply lost my perky sparkle.

  4. got a new job (oh this was the only good thing last year).

  20. mom has more surgery.

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  ShaunaC

  Hey Moe! So sorry to hear about your tough times in the past year. You've been through more than many people can even imagine. Don't be so hard on yourself for finally feeling that you can no longer bear it. You can bear it! It sounds like you've already lived through the worst of it. Things can only get better!!!

  In the meantime, focus on that one true joy in your life, your daughter. With everything you've learned in the past year, you've got tons to teach her so that she won't have to suffer as you have. Doing so will be a healing for yourself as well.

  I wish you the best in finding happiness. You will and when you do, it will be much sweeter after all that you endured to attain it.

  Shauna
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  28

  I feel so guilty

  by Leander in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  these past few weeks i've spent a lot of time trying to decide how i want to proceed with the rest of my life.

  one of my first decisions to carry out is to break free from the wts.

  even though i've been a life long witness i feel no guilt or hesistation in leaving the only religion i've ever known.

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  ShaunaC

  Leander, I understand how you are feeling. I left both my marriage and the Org at the same time. While I would encourage you to make things right with your wife and not to be too rash...I also understand from my own situation that I was married at 18 and had never decided with full knowledge and wisdom to spend the rest of my life with my hubby. When I left the Org I knew he would not follow. I didn't want him to. The major point of me leaving everything was to finally live my own life. I had not been happily married since virtually the beginning but faked it for almost 7 years.

  In the end, you alone will have to figure out the right way for you. Don't let anyone elses morals or opinions decide for you. Good luck! I wish you well in your decision.

  Shauna
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  21

  The Elders are coming!!!

  by lv4fer in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  elder concerned called me last night.

  we talked about a few of my concerns and why i haven't been to meetings/service in the last few months.

  he has set up an appointment with my husband and i for next monday.

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  ShaunaC

  Hi lv4fer! I agree that it doesn't much matter whether you DF or DA in the sight of the congo. If it makes a difference to you then by all means DA yourself. If I had had the knowledge I do now I would have liked to make the stand and DA myself instead of getting DF'd on purpose for fornication.

  How are the kids doing with this info? Have you been able to see what they think about their future in the Org without you in it?

  Thinking of ya,
  Shauna
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  28

  I told my dad this morning.........

  by lv4fer in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  he asked if i was going to the circuit assembly this weekend.

  he asked why.

  i just said after a long pause, dad it's not the truth (you have to understand that i'm the one who preached to this man and got him in the truth) the conversation lasted about 5 minutes with him saying well who else teaches the right thing, you have to understand, jehovah has to have an organization.

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  ShaunaC

  Hi Sweetie! I know the pain of disappointing your father. I know you understand why.

  I'm sure some of that disappointment comes from getting him into the Org in the first place. You may temporarily disappoint him now that you want to leave but in the end you may be able to free him from this cult as well.

  Guilt is no reason to continue to live unhappily. Everything will work out in the end. Look at me...my sister, who I've never had an adult social conversation with in my life and who I have only seen and spoken to a couple of times in the past 3 1/2 years I've been out, called me last week out of the blue to tell me she's pregnant. We ended up talking for 20 minutes, cut short only cuz I had to go to dinner.

  Point is...people will often surprise you. So follow your heart and be patient for everyone else to fall in line.

  And as for skipping the Assembly this weekend...take the family out for something fun instead!

  I'll be thinking of ya,
  Shauna
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  61

  How many found the REAL truth from the internet?

  by Leander in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  if it was'nt for the internet i would still be stuck in the endless cycle of drone like meeting attendance and field service.

  (technically i'm still in but not for long) i'm really glad that some ex-jws took the time to speak about the real truth.

  for the longest time i always thought that what i was taught was correct, i never even felt the need to question it or validate it with actual facts.

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  ShaunaC

  I started my search on the internet about 1 1/2 years after I had left the Org. But I wasn't searching for "Apostate" sites. At the time I was suffering from severe depression. Over a period of a few months I would go into hysterical crying fits. These episodes were starting to become more frequent. No matter how much I tried to explain my feelings to my boyfriend, Nick, he simply just couldn't understand. Really I couldn't understand what I was even feeling myself.

  So I went to Borders Books to find some psych help for my depression. I wanted to find something or someone with knowledge of JW's. No luck! So later that day I began a search on the net. While searching for ex-JW therapists I found links to the old H20 and Freeminds. Those sites and the people on them became my therapists without me ever even speaking a word.

  On those sites I found out for the first time about Ray Franz and immediately ordered both of his books. I was completely engrossed in reading them, as well as being on the websites everyday. I don't much believe in the Bible anymore but it is right about one thing...The truth shall set you free! The REAL TRUTH that is.

  At the time a fellow ex-JW friend of mine couldn't seem to really understand my fuss over the internet. But 2 years later after reaching her point of depression from the JW aftermath, she too is finding comfort and understanding on this site.

  I am very thankful for all of those like Randy, Simon, Kent and the countless others who spend so much of their time helping other fellow JW's and ex-JW's through these websites. I don't know where I would be emotionally at this point without all of you. THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!

  And thanks to all who post. I've continued to learn and grow as a human being because of all of your research, kind words and love.

  ALL HAIL THE INTERNET!!!!

  Shauna
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  36

  Most Frightening Door to Door Experience

  by Kenneson in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  in my hometown, this other witness and i were.

  going from door to door one day when we reached one particular house.. the householder became so agitated by the presence of jws.

  that he "sicked" his dog on us, but thank god it had a muzzle.

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  ShaunaC

  One of the scariest was when I was working with my family in a rural town. Only my dad got out because there were many "Beware of Dog" signs. The owner ended up pulling a shotgun on him.

  Soon after Desert Storm began I had a man get very irate with me because of our neutral stand. He got so heated that I seriously thought he was going to blow a gasket.

  The funniest and most embarrassing was when I was Reg pioneering with my best friend. I was 16 and she was 17. We often worked the rural areas of town by ourselves. On time a college boy answered the door "a bucked naked". It was obvious he did it just to get a rise out of us young girls. We tried very hard to not look down. Although being extrememly embarrassed we still were good pioneers and offered the mags. Thank God he didn't take them cuz then he would have had to open the screen door!

  Shauna
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  23

  *BEING ANOINTED, MARRIED,*????

  by zev in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i'm looking for an answer, and views to a disturbing question i have had for years.. for more than 2 decades, this has bothered me, yet i have been unable to resolve this dilema witin myself.

  i hope some of you can help.. over the 40 years i was "in", i have known many "anointed".

  most...were single, either by choice, or by the death of a mate.. but their are 2 i have known, who were married.. .

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  ShaunaC

  Amazing...if not TOO painful, could you expound on partaking while a JW and why it hurts to think about it now? I'd also like to know how you view of God has changed since thst time.

  Shauna
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  29

  JW's and Marriage

  by Xena in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i am wondering how many jw's stay in a marriage because they have to?

  i mean i know there are happy marriages out there (somewhere i am sure), but i have run across several jw wives who are just waiting on their significant other to commet "the act" so they can divorce them and move on with their lives.. divorce has become less of a taboo thing in the org, but it is still frowned upon and people that do divorce, even on the scriptural grounds, are somewhat stigmatized.

  so i guess my question is what do you think the divorce rate would be if jw's could get divorced for any grounds with no repercussions?

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  ShaunaC

  I agree with you too Xena. I for one stayed married for over 6 years knowing it wasn't right for me. When I separated with no action taken by the Cong. even private, many of the sister's immediately stopped speaking to me. I always had a suspicion they were jealous.

  It was proved true, at least from one person, a year or so later. My best friend followed in my footsteps and left her unhappy marriage. She later admitted that she had stopped speaking to me to follow JW rules (her hubby was an elder) but secretly inside she was cheering for me.

  I to this day believe much of my mother's anger towards me stems from her being jealous of my freedom. I think this is particularly true of all of us who were raised as a JW and married very young. I was 18, so was my friend, my mom was only 16.

  Shauna
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  5

  I wish my dad was like Bill Bowen!!!

  by ShaunaC in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  one of my very best friends, who i also consider a sister, left the org about a year after me.

  she is actually closer to my parents age (she's 40) but our families always did things together while we were all jw's and now that her and i are not we're even closer.. after she left the org she told me about the molestation she and her younger sister suffered at the hands of their father.

  at the time he was not a jw as was their mother.

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  ShaunaC

  Thanks, Mark, for your reply. I know everyone goes through this process of realizing your parents aren't as perfect as you thought they were. This is harder to learn in this instance because everything before I could chock up to JW brainwashing. But this feels more like he's not even the type of man at the core that I thought he was.

  BTW, we still need to chat on MSN. I may share some more pics for you artistic review!

  Shauna
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  12

  ISP and Co. off to Florida!

  by ISP in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  we're off to disney for the first time with the family.we were going somewhere else but changed.

  if there are any in the florida area that would like to meet up...let us know!

  we are there from the 31st may for 9 nights, staying at disney's yacht and beach resort.

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  ShaunaC

  Have a great time ISP! Make sure you go to Epcot too! Too bad you're not coming to California. Maybe next spring!

  Kisses, (sorry we haven't talked in awhile)
  Shauna