VioletAnai,
I understand your frustration, and you have every right to feel it. Having never posted to you before, and I have only "skimmed" most of the posts that were directed to you, I can say only this:
The fact that the members of this board converse with you even after you "decide" to pursue the WTBS is evidence of their caring for you. THey may be overzealous at times (aren't we all?) but it shows that they want you to make an informed decision.
Now, contrast that with what will happen if you _ever_ question the WTBS.
Whatever decision you make, just make sure you make it for the right reasons.
It is obvious that you desire to serve God "the right way", and you feel that "Jehovah's Organization" is that "way". I do not share that view.
You have to decide this for yourself. Asking people here to support you in joining the WTBS is asking for some of the responses you have gotten, they are honest responses from people who have LEFT the WTBS for various reasons.
Follow your heart, ask for guidance, and study ALL available information, not just what the WTBS publishes.
Riddle me this:
What was Jesus warning to the follower's at Luke 21:8?
How does that apply to the WTBS? (or _does_ it?)