Hey Puffs,
That's too bad that she is attempting to make an emotional hostage of you...keep resisting. Chances are you will never get your husband to stand up to her or confront her regarding the stuff she says...their relationship is already pretty well established. And, IMHO, you don't want to try to make him feel like he is choosing.
But you should also establish your boundaries and keep them sacred. Let hubby know right now that you will never consider having her live with you...it just wouldn't work. Doesn't mean you can't be compassionate to her later on, and fully support him in all his efforts to see that she is well cared for. But it doesn't mean you have to sacrifice your sanity and have her stay with you. Life is too short for that.
Eman and HS I don't know which quote was funnier
think41self