Posts by truman

8

Living the JW 'simplified lifestyle'

by truman in

though i haven't heard as much about this concept in the last few years, during much.

of my tenure as a jw ('74-'01) there was frequent mention in the pages of the wt urging.

witnesses to live a simplified lifestyle.

truman

Thanks for your comments!

SYN,
I agree that the organizational 'simplification' procedures had little to do with enhancing spirituality, and every thing to do with business. Plus, stripping the food service and other amenities from the conventions took all the enjoyment (what little there was) right away.

Gopher,
It definitely is just another tentacle of the WT's controlling apparatus, and like all the rest, the net result to followers is generally not uplifting.

Mommy1,
I guess the "maxed-out-credit-card-I'll-never-have-to-pay-'cause-Armageddon's-coming" mentality is the flip side of the appearance-based asceticism I was referring to, but it comes from the same source.

dsgal,
Yes, I have seen the disdain for those financially disadvantaged. In a way, being too poor seems to be viewed by some as a little akin to being spiritually weak--- "you are just not making enough of an effort to keep up....there must be something wrong with you".

Introspection,
Yes, the image-conscious behavior I described does not embody the spirit behind Jesus' words about 'keeping your eye simple'. But it does fit with the general JW concern of greater stress on how things appear than how they actually function.

minimus,
In this case, the decision to live in a travel trailer(a recreational vehicle about 25-30 feet long and 8 feet wide) was not based on economic necessity. It was made in an effort to 'put kingdom interests first', feeling that this particular lifestyle would facilitate that. I know that the family in point had sincere motives, but the outcome of reality always seemed so incongruous with the stated aim. However, they were viewed by all and sundry as being the utmost spiritual, self-sacrificing people. Its own reward, I guess.

truman

8

Living the JW 'simplified lifestyle'

by truman in

though i haven't heard as much about this concept in the last few years, during much.

of my tenure as a jw ('74-'01) there was frequent mention in the pages of the wt urging.

witnesses to live a simplified lifestyle.

truman

Though I haven't heard as much about this concept in the last few years, during much
of my tenure as a JW ('74-'01) there was frequent mention in the pages of the WT urging
witnesses to live a simplified lifestyle. This was usually backed up by scriptures about
'keeping your eye simple' and not being caught up in materialism ala 'the desire of the eyes,
and the showy display of one's means of life.'

While I don't object to a lifestyle of simplicity, it can be a beneficial thing, I observed a rather strange phenomenon in the reaction of some JWs to this admonition. This seemed
to manifest itself primarily in two forms to me.

The first was the way that the 'friends' have of casting aspersions upon whichever
member of the congregation has been the latest purchaser of ...... a new car,....a new
home....., fancy electronic equipment....., frequent vacations....., and so on. Of course,
one's own decision to make one of these acquisitions was always made in the best of
conscience, and in full harmony with furthering kingdom interests. "It's a 4 door; it will be
a great service car." "Now that we have a bigger house, we can host the book study."
"Those kingdom melodies sound so good on that new stereo." "Travel certainly makes a
person appreciate the creation." But if someone else did it, there were often those
sideways glances and clicking of tongues.

The second thing was the decision of some particularly devoted families to chuck it all
and live in a travel trailer. I knew a local family, parents and one teenager, who did this.
They lived the travel trailer lifestyle with the kid for a couple of years, then moved into a
house till the kid left home, at which time they again returned to the travel trailer for about
3 years. Finally, they went back to owning a home. During the trailer years, they did not
go to other places, but remained local. She was a pioneer, he was an elder.

The thing that always puzzled me though was that this way of life seemed to neither
lessen their financial burden (it was a new trailer), nor the amount of time it takes to deal
with the routines of life. It has been my observation that it often takes even longer to do
things in a very small residence than otherwise. Everything must be planned, and things
have to be shifted around constantly to move from one mode, such as cooking, to another,
washing dishes, getting beds ready, and so forth. The whole thing seemed to be a lot
more about (to selves or to others) appearing simple and non-materialistic rather than
actually being more truly efficient.

Does anyone else know of those who did this? How did it turn out for them? I think
these people found that they got on each other's nerves a lot more. There was just no
place to go to get any privacy or peace. Was this the JW equivilent of self-flagellation? If you are miserable for God, it must mean you are more righteous.

truman

21

If You Didn"t PREACH, YOU were BLOODGUILTY

by minimus in

jw
friends

preaching, to a witness is the most important assignment that god gives.as a matter of fact, if you don't preach you are bloodguilty before god.if you don't cover the territory properly, you are bloodguilty.

if you didn't keep proper records, you were bloodguilty.if you didn't do not-at-homes, you were bloodguilty.if you didn't return to talk to a return visit within the week, you were bloodguilty.

obviously, we could never reach all persons with the "truth".

truman

This concept of incurring 'bloodguilt' if you did not preach sufficiently at every opportunity, was one of the most debilitating witness doctrines of all to me. I have always been a very shy person, and it is terribly difficult for me, especially, to approach strangers to accost them with information they had no interest in, or even actively wished to avoid. I hate making people uncomfortable, yet that is what every good JW must be willing and eager to do. At the same time, I sincerely wanted to see people have the opportunity to 'get saved' from the 'BIG A". It was always a dilemma for me.

It got no better, when I became more acquainted with someone more personally, for then, I knew if I started 'preaching' I would alienate the person and end up looking like some kind of religious nut, but knowing them better made me even more want to save them from destruction. For this reason, I found it very easy to avoid 'worldly association', out of fear of having to convert them, or out of shame for not being able to do it right according to the WTS.

I always thought that this doctrine was very unfair, because it puts a burden on an 'only human' person, which God himself seems unwilling to bear. After all, wouldn't it be a lot more effective in getting the message out to mankind, if God had just made the whole thing plainer, and understandable to people of all kinds. He should be able to do that, shouldn't he, if he is God, and really desires that no one be destroyed.

I am so happy to be free from the worry and guilt, and mental conflict which this doctrine put on me!!!

10

Help in "Preaching Apostaphry"

by patio34 in

the title was from a thread recently that said since jws have a ministry, do apostates have an apostrophy?.

well, today out of the blue, a previous workmate called me at work.

she stated that she had heard that i was no longer a jw.

truman

Hi Pat,

Sounds like it will be an interesting conversation. I guess everyone who has left,
has their own personal "straw that broke the camel's back". For me, it was finding out that
I had been manipulated by means of systematic and sophisticated mind control techniques.
This broke the spell immediately, but it took a little longer to get to the stage of letting go
of the doctrine. Ray Franz' books did that for me. If I was to talk to someone else like this,
I would explain about mind control, and the quantifiable, identifiable methods the WTS
utilizes. I think you are right about the danger of overwhelming a person such as your
acquaintance. It would be easy to come off as much a fanatic against the JWs as they do
when they sense a prospective convert.

Mainly, I would recommend a couple of web sites, like 'freeminds', and a book, 'Crisis of 'Conscience', then be willing to talk some more, if they want to. This way, it lets the person make their own choices in the rate at which they digest what can be difficult material.

Keep us posted on how it goes.

I myself, have been debating about sending an anonymous letter to a sister from my cong. who was recently DF'd, telling her to look online for some comfort about her situation, but have not done it yet. I do have some reservations about inserting myself into someone elses situation,
uninvited, in this case. But I would like to help.....

truman

43

DID YOU EVER LEARN anything because you were a JW?

by minimus in

jw
friends

was there ever anything positive from being a witness?

could you say that because you were a witness at least......or was it all negative?

truman

Yes, I have learned things attributable to my time as a JW, 27 years. They are not the
things which were taught in the pages of the WT or from the platform by elders.

I learned that even someone who thinks they are reasonably self-aware and a logical,
considerate thinker, can be duped under the right circumstances, by the right
blandishments, with the backing of mind control techniques.

I learned that living your life for someone else's welfare or their expectations (such as
continuing to be a loyal JW for years on end because you think you are saving your kids,
even though you, yourself are miserable as a JW), whether it be children, mate, or friends
at the KH, is no way to live, and is so empty in the long run that it neither accomplishes its
initial aim, nor provides any satisfaction for the one so martyred.

I learned that externally imposed spirituality, such as marketed by the WTS, is of little
lasting benefit, either in making one feel 'right with God' or in knowing yourself and your
connection with the rest of huamnity, and the universe.

I learned that while fear and guilt are great motivators (I once had a sister tell me that guilt
was a good thing, this in the context of the free-floating guilt which JWs are subject to,
not in connection with any particular wrongdoing), which the WTS uses to manipulate
those under their influence. Ultimately the destructive use of these tools will boomerang
on those who impose them from their watchtowers. The human spirit can only exist under
those constraints so long, before it strives to break free.

I learned that I CAN trust my own heart, and my own judgement, despite much warning to
the contrary from the pages of the WT.

truman

33

How Have U Changed since Leaving?

by patio34 in

i've been thinking about changes in my world view lately and wonder if others have had a similarly subtle, yet profound, outlook on life.

not being a jw nor even a believer anymore has made a subtle change that ive observed.

to begin with, i read somewhere that people tend to bring their own standards to their religion.

truman

I have changed so much since I left the WTS about a year and a half ago, that at times I don't even recognize the person I used to be. I was going to say I don't recognize who I have become, but that is not true. Now I am and am becoming more and more who I always should have been, who I would have been a long time ago if I hadn't been diverted from it for 27 years as a witness.

As a witness, I was a miserable, sad, fat, frumpy mess, just trudging along trying to 'endure to the end'. Now, I am a much happier person, have lost the excess weight and got fit, and learned to look better and feel better about myself and my life. I am doing new things and having adventures, taking lesson in activities I always wanted to do but was waiting for the 'new system' to pursue, and trying things I never thought I would. I am having a great time doing these things.

As far as changing my view of the world, yes, it has changed very much. I was always a very accepting person, but it was buried under my witness judgementalism. Now, I find so much satisfaction and freedom in being able to accept other people, their ideas, their lifestyles, and their ways as part of the interesting diversity of life. Some I can join with, some I cannot, but I can learn from it all.

I can feel free to read and assimilate whatever I want to, without having to censor my intellectual curiosity to a party line of thought control.

And as far as the question of beliefs on sexual morality as propounded by the WTBS, I have diverged widely from their viewpoint. But overall, my moral code is not too different. I strive to live in a way so as not to unnecessarily hurt other people, and help whenever I can.

Pat, I couldn't agree more about not having to feel a failure because my children chose a different path than the one I set out for them. Because one of my sons left the witnesses while I was still in, I felt like a total failure, and it crushed me. Now, I am so happy he is out with me, and I feel sad about the one who is still in. But, he seems to be happy, and as long as that is so, then I am happy for him. If the time comes when he starts to get disillusioned with JWs, then I will be there to help him get out if possible.

truman

20

My First Rock Concert....

by TheSurvivor in

now in my 40's i went to my first and most probably last rock concert last night.

i took the wife and kids (if you can still call them that with the youngest taller than me) to see the "motor city madman....ted nugent.

i guess that i am just not the rock and roll type.

truman

Hi Survivor,

I too am in my forties, and recently attended my first rock concert. My 23 year old son was happy to share his favorite band with his mother, so we went to a 'TOOL' concert. I had cultivated a liking for the music for a couple of months before going so I would be familiar with it, and found that I actually liked their music very much. It is quite an experience going to something like that, and I expected to be the oldest one there. But surprisingly enough, there were a number of us older teenagers there, even whole families.

My experience was fantastic. The band was absolutely incredible, and I saw no trouble with the crowd, with the exception of a jam-up getting out the door when it was over. Other than that everyone seemed pretty cool. I was worried about the sound levels, but found I really liked feeling the whole building rock, and being totally immersed in feeling the music. No ear plugs for me!

In some ways it is a little strange doing these things so far into life's journey, but I say I am ready to enjoy things now, that I have gotten rid of the mind control, and can really taste life.

truman

7

My Watch Tower experience ..........

by Tzu in

my watchtower experience ....... .

i came out of the watchtower approx 4 years ago and so did my husband and younger son who at the time was an un-baptised publisher.

hubby and myself were baptised.

truman

Hello and welcome Tzu,

Your stories of the mistreatment of animals are appalling, but well reminded me of similar, though not quite as dramatic experiences of my own. I remember once being at an elder's home when the family kitten was mewing behing a closed door which lead to a basement down a flight of stairs. He got tired of the kitten's crying, and opened the door and kicked it down the stairs. I was horrified, and later that evening I asked the wife if they wanted to be rid of the kitten, and ended up taking it home with me a couple of days later.

Also several times, I have taken cats from witnesses who wanted to be free of them for one reason or another, only to find out that a short time later, they had acquired another pet as a replacement. I could never understand why they couldn't just love the first one. I guess it is a good thing this is not allowed for children!

I too, have 'counselled' a brother with the scripture in Proverbs about caring for one's domestic animal. I was a new witness; he was an elder. Needless to say, it did not go over well. I heard later that his son had gotten in trouble for talking to me about an incident with a cat over which I spoke to him. Actually, it was the same brother in the first paragraph, and that is another reason I was so eager to rescue their poor little kitten.

Anyway, glad you got out of the WTS, and I hope you like it here.

truman

7

Who are you outside of a thought?

by Introspection in

hi all, i thought this question might be useful for some here, i find it tends to be a powerful tool that points to the fact that we are not the thoughts that tends to bring on depression or what have you.

obviously, if you stop thinking you don't just disappear, and thoughts of course come and go but you are always there.. anyways, something to consider.

you might say this is one of those questions that are not meant for an answer, but i say go right ahead and answer it, if the answer is something outside of a thought.

truman

Who are we outside of a thought? Well....I think, therefore, I am???? I completely agree
that we do not have to and would be ill-served by defining ourselves by our thoughts of
depression or negativity.

But I also believe that we create who we are by our thoughts, as well as molding our life
circumstances in line with what we feed our subconscious mind. If we consistantly view
ourselves and our experiences negatively, if we believe in our hearts that we are
unworthy, ruined, hopeless, whatever, that that is very likely just what we will be.

Even though thoughts are transitory, and we can learn to let them pass, on the whole I
think they go a long way toward defining who we are, not in the existence of our physical
selves, because as you said, we will still exist if we stop them, but they do seem to make
up the form of our 'selves'.

We can recreate ourselves by changing our thought patterns, and I personally feel that I
have done that since leaving the WTS, in a very major way. Not only in mind, but
physically as well, my body also being affected by my changing thought patterns and my
altered perception of myself. I am in many respects a very different person than I was a
year and a half ago, but at the same time, there is a core of me which remains steady, ad
was throughtout my JW experience of many years, though a large portion of it was not
given expression in that tightly controlled atmosphere. Thank goodness for a free mind!!

Please do not take the above as dogmatic. My expressions are always in a state of
openness to new learning, and respect to the diversity of viewpoints, which I truly believe
are valuable. These things are too big, and too complex to be pinned down to one and
only one way of looking at things.

truman

34

ADMIT IT, DIDN'T YOU FEEL SPECIAL being a JW?

by minimus in

jw
friends

remember, you had the truth!

everybody else didn't even have a clue!

the worldly people never understood our spiritual paradise.

truman

I do have to admit to having a feeling of 'specialness' at times, in that I thought it was certainly special to be one of the very few who would survive Armaggedon, and feeling a bit 'lucky' to have somehow found the one body of information, the secret, which would make that possible...the teachings of the WTS. But, on the other hand, I was often troubled with the concern of just why I seemed to have found such a favored circumstance, and so many others who seemed worthy or redeemable did not. I wondered just what it was about my thought processes and theirs which made the difference between being in God's favor and out of it, when other factors such as innate goodness, kindness, selflessness, generosity, etc., were either on a similar footing as me, or heavily weighted in favor of those in the world. Certainly, it cannot be determined by looking at the standard 'fine qualities' demonstrated among those in the cong, for there is every bit as much range evident there as there is 'in the world'. A while ago, I wrote the following about this subject.

Why me?

Why me?
What did I do to deserve this?
Was I in the right place at the right time?
Is there something in me others are without?

One of a selected few saved.......a minority from billions
One of the meek.......an obedient one
Those drawn by God.......I follow
A sacred secret......what awaits!
Undeserved kindness to me......should have been someone else
A sinner......my flaws and weaknesses
Everlasting life......my reward
A survivor amid apocalyptic ruin......your deliverence is near

Why me?
What did I do to deserve this?
Was I in the wrong place at the wrong time?
Is there something in others I am without?

False hopes, empty promises, I believed......a minority from billions
Duped in distrust of my own instincts......an obedient one
They had all the answers......I followed
I'll die like everybody......what awaits
A personality imposed on me.......should have been someone else
Some say a victim of victims......my flaws and weaknesses
A painful awakening, spiritual hangover......my reward
Go out from among us, you are not of our sort......your deliverence is here

Why me?
What did I do to deserve this?
What is this place and time?
Is there something in me others are without?

I've seen "through a glass darkly"......a minority from billions
To make my own way......an obedient one
From many paths, I choose which......I follow
A life of possibilities......what awaits?
Though, Oh! who I've left behind......should have been someone else
Explore, accept, understand......my flaws and weaknesses
My life to live now......my reward
a survivor out of a tower of rubble......my deliverence is here

truman