seeitclearly: lol..tru that...a re-programming kit for post jw deprogramming..LOL thanxz..that was a good laugh..
Posts by zanex
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5it was my
by zanex inbirthday on monday the 12th and i was home sick but still got a visit from my daughter and xwife (who is still a good friend of mine).
i have had now 3 of these bdays...and am not sure if i am feelin it or not...i think i do..it feels good, a warm feeling when my 3 year old daughter flings her arms around my neck and says happy bday daddy...it also hurts too..am having a bday party this weekend with my roommate and friends at my place and will probably be thrashed but i still dont know if i am ever going to totally "get it".
it has been a while since i posted here but it seems the only real place that other people understand the "emptiness" as i call it.
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it was my
by zanex inbirthday on monday the 12th and i was home sick but still got a visit from my daughter and xwife (who is still a good friend of mine).
i have had now 3 of these bdays...and am not sure if i am feelin it or not...i think i do..it feels good, a warm feeling when my 3 year old daughter flings her arms around my neck and says happy bday daddy...it also hurts too..am having a bday party this weekend with my roommate and friends at my place and will probably be thrashed but i still dont know if i am ever going to totally "get it".
it has been a while since i posted here but it seems the only real place that other people understand the "emptiness" as i call it.
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zanex
Valis: ironically enough all is well..life continues, school threatens to never end and my child seems to think that growing is something that she will not stop doing. LOL. Sigh. things are good. having a rather drastic career change but it is looking perfect so I think things are good. Cant complain anyway...;)
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it was my
by zanex inbirthday on monday the 12th and i was home sick but still got a visit from my daughter and xwife (who is still a good friend of mine).
i have had now 3 of these bdays...and am not sure if i am feelin it or not...i think i do..it feels good, a warm feeling when my 3 year old daughter flings her arms around my neck and says happy bday daddy...it also hurts too..am having a bday party this weekend with my roommate and friends at my place and will probably be thrashed but i still dont know if i am ever going to totally "get it".
it has been a while since i posted here but it seems the only real place that other people understand the "emptiness" as i call it.
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zanex
birthday on monday the 12th and I was home sick but still got a visit from my daughter and xwife (who is still a good friend of mine). I have had now 3 of these bdays...and am not sure if I am feelin it or not...i think I do..it feels good, a warm feeling when my 3 year old daughter flings her arms around my neck and says happy bday daddy...It also hurts too..am having a bday party this weekend with my roommate and friends at my place and will probably be thrashed but I still dont know if I am ever going to totally "get it". It has been a while since I posted here but it seems the only real place that other people understand the "emptiness" as I call it. Anyway...not really sure why I posted...just another year gone...
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More -Z- poetry...
by zanex inwhy do i have to understand?.
why cant those fathers, mothers, sisters, brothers.
father, elder, which are you?.
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zanex
Why do I have to understand?
Why do I have to "get it"
why cant those fathers, mothers, sisters, brothers
why cant THEY take it?
Father, Elder, which are you?
Son, Disfellowshipped, which am I?
"my worldly family doesnt accept me" is what u say
why should they when u ignore the things I cry?
I helped you when your family member died...
I was there for you when you needed me most...
I never said a word in anger...
yet I was to you invisible..a ghost...
I no longer feel the anger...I cry
I no longer feel the hate...I sigh..
I have lost that which was once important..
the relationship between you and I...
You watched me take my first steps..
my first words echoed in your eyes
yet now we have walls in place..
no more unconditional eyes.
I love you mother..
I love you father...
I love you sister...
Signed your Son, Brother...Disfellowshipped...
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Why do most dubyas feel it is necessary to get a new dress...
by Agent Smith inor suit for the conventions and memorial?.
i have never understood this.
are they gonna hold a beauty pageant at the convention?
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zanex
LOL LOL wow, I remember that come the beginning of every new school year I was the freshest nerd on the street but boy come that assembly or memorial it was slick shlick and shlicker and for some reason cost wasnt an issue when it was for the kh...ahhhhh memories...nothin like travellin down amnesia lane..this made me laugh..thanxz...
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48
im very upset
by Shytears in.
i know its been awhile...i dont have to much to say right now.im at a loss for words..im dissfellowshipped now..the announcement will be in 2 weeks.i just need some support..
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zanex
Yep I was 17 too when I got the big DF and I took the get wild and party road...balance the party with a pursuit of individual betterment. Always remember that you are NOT the sum of those jw announcements. The REAL truth is the one that you find in self-discovery. It isnt easy...I think that everyone here can agree on that one but with the help and support of ones here and possibly ones within your area that are non-jws it IS survivable. THe road is long and the difficult but the reward to surviving it is freedom-REAL freedom. I wish you the best!
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What's The Kindest Thing Anyone's Ever Done For You???
by minimus insometimes we focus on some negative things about our lives and that often serves a helpful purpose in our healing.
but if we concentrate on something positive, can you recall something that struck you for its kindness?
one thing i will never forget is the men and women who went into action to try to save thousands of people in nyc on september 11th.
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zanex
I remember when I had newly left the borg way way way way way long time ago and was going absolutely crazy with all manner of things worldly and was just lacking any type of parental guidance (as I was 17 at the time) I randomly met this older lady that had been the mother of one of my other decrepit friends. I recall her saying one thing and thats it but that one thing made me feel very good and it has stayed with me all these years. She looked at me one time (face full of piercings and all) and said, "it doesnt matter what you look like out there...you will always be loved in here". I only recall this cuz I looked the absolute worst that I had ever and even then there was someones mother that saw the kid that was there. It was a long time ago but it lasted a long time. I havent talked to that lady or even seen her in a long time but I remember her words...I think that was the nicest, kindest thing that anyone has ever done for me...or at least one of ones that stood out in my memory.
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After JW, do you hunger for all the things you didnt do..simple things
by LyinEyes inbeing raised a jw, i honestly did not know what a great big world we live in.
all the places i never went to see, things i wanted to do,,,, because i figured , i will just do that when the new world gets here.
there was always going to be forever to do all the things that make life interesting.. i settled for the here and now as a good jw, meetings, field service, studying the same material over and over in the wt publications, and that was my life.
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zanex
the simplest thing that I think I got from leaving the org was just that-the freedom to DO those things that I had hungered for...balancing those freedoms came much later..lol
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Anyone here like jogging?
by Elsewhere ini started several weeks ago and all i can say is wow!
what they say is true... it is very adictive.
the natural high is amazing.
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zanex
The wind through my hair
the concrete passing beneath
I feel free
as the world passes at my feet
nobody to say, "stop"
nobody to tell me, "go"
it is my life to decide
each foot..blow by blow..
Yah i have been runnin fer a while...it has become better than a shrink...cuz its all mine...nobody can take it away from me...anywayz...
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I am so angry I am sick to my stomach!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
by Ravyn ini just had a jw come to my door and i had to threaten her to get her to leave!
i told the woman right off i was 'apostate' and had no intention of changing it.
she kept asking me personal questions which i told her were none of her business and she said she would have the elders come by and i told her that if they came by the better be wearing bullet proof vests!
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zanex
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