Hm... I like the sound of the fear in our enemies' voice, their vain proclamations of divine authority!
They sound like the Iraqi information minister, hee hee hee, "Do not believe the American tanks... I have to go..."
CZAR
czarofmischief
JoinedPosts by czarofmischief
-
83
District Assembly talks about apostates............
by integ indistrict assembly 5/24/03 3:40 pm "beware of the voice of strangers".. 1) counterfeit words: beware of those using "counterfeit words".
2) flirting: young ones need to avoid being lured into relationships with un-believers.. 3) you trust your christian parents...listen to them.
you also trust those taking the lead among you..such as elders.
-
-
-
30
Do you think will see "The Jehovah's Witnesses University" ????
by run dont walk ini'm amazed the watchtower hasn't started one of these, a guaranteed way to sucker in the youth of the borg.. with oral roberts university as successful as it is, how long to the jw's start one ??????.
what do you think the classes would be called ??????.
- new world translation 101.
-
-
czarofmischief
The nightmarish scene that those words induced! I had a waking vision that my college years were actually spent at some kind of Bethel boot camp, learning creationism and Bible chronology - and certainly not a coed establishment!
Ahhhh!
CZAR
-
8
Memorial Night
by Gadget inthe memorial this year was the first one i've been to since being df'd.
when they were passing the emblems they missed out the row where me and another df'd brother were sitting.
the other person said it had been happening for the last 5 years he'd be going back to meetings.
-
-
czarofmischief
modern day judases? Shows you how they view us, not as prodigal sons, but as traitors to the regime!
CZAR
-
11
disturbing
by embalmed inunnecessary rant:.
dammit.
i hate the kingdom hall even more than before.
-
-
czarofmischief
During the meeting, go into the bathroom. remove all your clothing. Come back out and sit down.
Then take a big steaming poop on the kingdom hall floor during the closing prayer.
Not only will you not have to go back to the meetings, ten to one your mother never goes back either.
CZAR
-
47
Stereotypical Witnesses
by tazmaniac inok....we all had them...perhaps we were one of them....stereotypical witnesses.
there were many stereotypes that proved to be in congregation after congregation.
what stereotypical witnesses do you remember.
-
-
czarofmischief
How about Brother Czar? Was I in your congregation, in one of my many in-czar-nations?
Raised the son of an elder, suffered because pop was away at elders meetings all the time. Ruined any chances of actually being a witness by READING the Bible during the meetings instead of answering. Read old bound volumes voraciously. Found out about the whole oral sex ban and freaked out at this obvious imposition of personal taste on Christian couples. Discovered the joys of rock'n roll late in life, but embraced it secretly and with joyous abandon.
Went to college, shocking everybody.
Declared self an atheist at 17 while out in field service with the P.O.
Alcoholic by 19. Dangerous drunk by 20.
reproved for touching a boob at 19. disfellowshipped for humping boobs at 22. Finally lost technical virginity two days later.
CZAR
-
-
-
czarofmischief
Quality how???
Like, I don't think they're very smart, but I think the JW's are better at being JW's than ever before, or at least faking it, which, csince they are based on works, means the same thing.
CZAR
-
91
It's so simple -- Matthew 24
by cruzanheart inso here i was this evening, reading the old familiar matthew 24 with the kids before bedtime, but i was reading out of our very nice contemporary parallel new testament, specifically the message version, and i had this sudden realization: jesus didn't give us a really complicated, mysterious prophecy that had different types and antitypes -- he was simply continuing his original message (love your neighbor, love god).
remember verse 12 about the love of the many cooling off?
the verse right after that talks about enduring to the end.
-
-
czarofmischief
Reason it out!
What good does prophecy do anyone without the act of love? Even Paul said it was a clashing cymbal.
Secondly, by staring into prophetic texts too long, your eyes go buggy and you start measuring pyramids like ol' CT.
But if you just try to build a decent, loving life, then wow, your life is better now and your future is assured.
CZAR
-
12
Jehovah dissassociates self!
by czarofmischief indeity resigns post.
in a press conference this morning, jehovah god announced his intention to remove himself from association with the watchtower organization, citing "irreconcilable differences" and "personality clashes" with senior witness leadership.. "they kept on bugging me, taking my ideas and then twisting them, and then hogging all the credit!
" said god.. "the final straw was when they told me my son had to cut his hair," said god.
-
-
czarofmischief
Deity Resigns Post
In a press conference this morning, Jehovah God announced his intention to remove himself from association with the Watchtower organization, citing "irreconcilable differences" and "personality clashes" with senior Witness leadership.
"They kept on bugging me, taking my ideas and then twisting them, and then hogging all the credit!" said God.
"The final straw was when they told me my son had to cut his hair," said God. "They said he needed a blow-dried perm that would help make George Michael cool again."
The Witness leadership, called the Governing Body, would not comment on the situation, saying that such dialogue would only serve to "give ammunition to opposers."
In an interview at the VH1 Music Awards, however, the unoffical leader of the organization, Ted Jaracz, had more to say.
"Frankly, his decision to leave the group is long overdue. We've outgrown him - and some of his concepts that he kept hammering away with, the peace and love bulls**t, well, we just don't see eye to eye anymore," said Jaracz.
Jaracz said, "Plus, he screwed us over in '75 with the Armageddon World Tour. I mean, we had it all set up, and then he doesn't show? What's that all about? Pretty d**n unprofessional, and not what this organization needs."
"Yeah, well, I'm sorry that the whole Armageddon tour fell through again," said Jehovah. "It would have been great, but the other guys just kept wanting to overdo it, with all the mayhem and world catastrophe. I wanted a few club dates, but they insisted on booking entire continents."
The name of the organization will be changed to simply "Witnesses," said Jaracz, to avoid a lengthy court battle over copyright issues.
"I told them that I would sue their asses off if they used my name again!" said Jehovah, bluntly.
A brief letter was read in all congregations during the announcements portion of the Service Meeting this week, and field service is scheduled to go ahead as planned, said Jaracz.
Jehovah said, of his future plans, that "I want to look up some old friends, maybe hang out in Amsterdam, spend some time with the kid, and then poke around the Sahara for a while, see if I can't get a blooming garden going."
"Maybe I'll run for office," mused the Supreme Deity, "I'd like a cohesive national health care policy, not to mention legalized marijuana and reduced restrictions on handgun ownership."
CZAR of the Divine Channel Class
-
82
What is the WTS's motive?
by careful fader incan anyone help me understand the motive of the wts?
i don't think it's money .
the gb lives at bethel in a pretty low standard of living.
-
-
czarofmischief
First off, let me wave hello to every body!
Now, here's a thing: when I started reading this thread Rob Zombie's song, "House of 1000 Corpses" started playing, with the lyrics "This is the house, come on in, this is the house, built on sin..." airing just as I scrolled past the pictures of the Watchtower's buildings. Coincidence? Or divine intervention? Does Jesus like Rob Zombie? Hmmm... maybe He's cooler than I thought...
Now that I'm done with that little chilling circumstance, how about a theory? We all know that
1. religion is a powerful control mechanism, often utilized by governments to subjugate and steer their populations.
2. The Watchtower is at least an ally of the U.N., if no longer an actual NGO...
3. The Watchtower emphasizes the need to not get involved in nationalism or in elections, thereby eroding the patriotic sentiment of 12 million people around the globe...
4. The Watchtower subtly (at least in recent times) highlights the U.N.'s achievments in its magazines.
5. The Watchtower insists that the imminent approach of God's Kingdom makes efforts to improve or change circumstances in local government uneccessary and even blasphemous.
6. The Watchtower, from its inception, has borrowed many aspects of the Masonic cults, which feature a "two-tiered" system of supervision and control, with some people at the very heights of visible rank still on the outside when it comes to actual decision making.
So, in light of this, is it possible that the Watchtower has a "two-tiered" system, with the visible agenda of Kingdom Advertising(TM) being secondary to a real agenda - perhaps helping the U.N. become a world government?
That would at least explain why the corporation as a whole keeps taking these strange trips into doctrine, commerce, and dogma, perhaps even serving as a source of revenue for the U.N.
There is no proof of any of this, just a thought I had. I could be tripping, but stranger things have happened.
CZAR
-
25
Is heavy metal demonized? YOUR vote counts!
by czarofmischief inhyah!.
so, since i left the borg, i've been exploring all kinds a cool stuff that i wasn't allowed to do.
rated r movies, blood sausages, rap music, wearing my hat backwards, patriotism, sex.. so, you know how the society and other fundies are always saying that heavy metal is the tool of the devil?
-
-
czarofmischief
I don't know if my dog named Mydog is demonized or not.
He's purple, has three heads, reads Nietzsche, and doesn't technically exist... and when his eyes glow from the back of my refrigerator I have this terrible urge to play Rob Zombie and do the Angry White Male dance. Mydog has been known to vote Republican and watches English soccer, and roots for Sheffield Wednesday
Mydog has a motorcycle and likes to pick up loose women and drinks only cheap tequila!
He also quotes profusely from MacBeth, owns more guns than any three headed purple Scotch Terrier should, crushes up cold pills to snort with his middle head.
CZAR