Welcome undercover. I understand all your questions, and I know what you are going through. If you have seen the answers on the issues you first spoke about, then it sounds like you are already getting the answers you are looking for. All I can suggest is to keep doing your homework, and hopefully you will find peace in the decision that you make. There are people here who have been thru some really terrible things. Some are bitter, some dont care any more and some will listen and try to help you get thru. Just know this, it doesnt happen over night, and it will take time for you to take it all in. The best thing to remember is that there are people out there for you and are willing to help you every step of the way. It takes time to take in understanding of something that you have believed for a very long time to be the truth, and then to have your doubts, and to find out that it actually is not the truth.
Best wishes in your search. I hope you find the truth for yourself.
mamashel