Maybe you can remember your first few months and how far you have come. I'm in month two and I feel like throwing up daily. Thanks for the hope. Glad you are growing!!!!
Scooby
JoinedPosts by Scooby
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28
What are the stages of walking away?
by logansrun inwell, it's been a good ten months since i walked away from the jws and it's been quite a journey.
i notice that the initial fears, self-doubt and rage are no longer with me.
when i first left i could hardly look at a wt or awake magazine without getting wave after wave of anxiety and frustration.
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JW's NOT Pacifists!
by pettygrudger inhttp://www.purelanguage.net/forums/showthread.php?s=113336d091f780544504bb7ab27cc48d&threadid=7473
there are news reports at the moment going around about a women basketball player that turned her back on the flag to protest the iraq war.
her comments to reporters were that she was: "raised as a jehovahs witness in richmond, calif., she said her mother, fayette elliott, does not acknowledge the flag and raised her children to believe they could choose not to as well.
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Scooby
How do people get off playing on prof sports teams? My husband gave up a full ride athletic scholarship for the truth? How do these football and basketball players do this?!?!?!?!?!?!
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21
Can they announce that you are df'd or da'd without telling you?
by lv4fer ini know this sounds like a stupid question.
we haven't attended a meeting in almost a year.
about 5 months ago they sent us a registered letter saying they wanted to meet with my husband and i and discuss charges of apostasy.
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Scooby
Even if they don't announce ANYTHING they still TALK! Obviously, the assume when they have not seen you that you are out...or sinning,etc.
I've seen people shunned do to simple gossip before.
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7
Difference between Disfellowshipping and inactive/disassociation
by Scooby indo you guys know what the difference is between disfellowshipped/inactive/disassociation?.
i am not sure which one to do to myself (ha ha)!!!
i figured your experiences would help me decide which one is right for me as i don't trust i'll get the best answer for me from one of my current jw friends.
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Scooby
Thank you.... I never paid attention to the difference too much. That was soooo scary, you just didn't want to think about it.
I will TRY to just fade away.....although eventually I think someone here will start questioning me...but that's okay too. I don't owe them an explanation. Hubby says now he is not going to tell his family. For now he's pretending we are together and going to meetings (they don't know the difference as they live so far away.) As screwed up as that is... I could care lesss....WHATEVER that is HIS family.
Sorry If I didn't explain myself better C- My husband has left the truth and feels HE is dead. The whole marriage thing seems like it's ending (partially) because our marriage was built on sex (thats what you do when you are 20 and a witness...get married to have sex) We never would have gotten married so young or maybe even to each other. each Day of reading this, reading books etc I get stronger and stronger.
THANKS FOR YOU COMMENTS
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18
When Cowards Run a Religion
by metatron inonce upon a time, judge rutherford stood before a crowd in madison square garden.
the audience included many catholic action types who could have easily included an assassin.
the judge may have been a lot of things (well,..... drunk, ego-manical, adulterous, and dishonest, actually) but he wasn't a coward.
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Scooby
Thanks for the post....I know some of these take much of your time to answer....but you may not realize here how much someone like me appreciates your efforts. I am seeing things in definite NEW LIGHT!!!!!
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7
Difference between Disfellowshipping and inactive/disassociation
by Scooby indo you guys know what the difference is between disfellowshipped/inactive/disassociation?.
i am not sure which one to do to myself (ha ha)!!!
i figured your experiences would help me decide which one is right for me as i don't trust i'll get the best answer for me from one of my current jw friends.
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Scooby
Do you guys know what the difference is between disfellowshipped/inactive/disassociation?
I am not sure which one to do to myself (HA HA)!!! I figured your experiences would help me decide which one is right for me as I don't trust I'll get the best answer for ME from one of my current JW friends. I am looking for PRACTICAL experience...not some stuff from a book. My family is extatic that I have decided to leave.... none of them are in the truth.
However....still working on hubby. We are still separated and he is not going to meetings..his attitude is still one of "why be married if you are not a jw...you're dead....so live life any way you please!!!!" I am thnking that I might call all his family(ALL Witnesses...all 32 of them!!!) if we get divorced and tell them I am now an apostate and then my husband can "play" the victim role and NOT lose his family. We live so far away...I don't think they would ever have to know that he is not going anymore...he could fake it?!?!? I would be willing to take all that blame so they don't cut him off. I know it's not honest.....but does that really pay when you are dealing with cutting off a fam member who is no longer happy? I know this sounds irrational and bizarre....but look what we are dealing with?
Thanks for the feedback......I love this board!!!!
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18
Witnesses are Spiritually Starving
by metatron inconsider the typical character of witness life: "spirituality" as a word is twisted and misapplied into a sterile life of dead.
meeting attendance and peddling magazines - instead of emphasizing active compassion and ethical qualities.
this tendency.
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Scooby
Heather-
Thank you for your comments...they REALLY REALLY hit what I am feeling RIGHT on the head. I just left the org and appreciate your comments soooo much. I hope they will help my also attempting to recover husband.
Scooby
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Raised a JW....No Hope?
by Scooby inthank you guys...all your posts are very much helping me to see where i need to get to personally in order to have any hope for my marriage.
i did not get the truth until i met hubby at 20 yrs old.
he grew up, fell away, and came back with me...(he witnessed to me).
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Scooby
Thank you guys...all your posts are very much helping me to see where I need to get to personally in order to have any hope for my marriage. I did not get the truth until I met hubby at 20 yrs old. He grew up, fell away, and came back with me...(he witnessed to me). I think now that he married me becuz that's what you do when you date someone...you get married becuz of the truth. I would have married him regardless of the religion or not. (I guess that speaks volumes for my lack of jw'ness)
Do you guys think that someone who grew up a JW can overcome their childhood even though they have never known anything else? Hubby keeps saying to me that he has no choices.......although he has not gone to anything(meetings, etc) in 3 months. I wonder if he will see the value in being married? He keeps saying now that "you might as well go out in the world and DO ANYTHING cuz your'e dead at Armaggedon" That is why we are separated maritally. He figures....what the *%()*)_$!!!
However, because I did not grow up in it.... I saw and see the VALUE of a marriage and that committment. Be honest with me guys and hit me straight in the bean......
What are my chances of having a normal, healthy, loving marriage with an x-jw who was raised in it with that attitude? Hubby has always looked at truth as holding him back....I'm not sure who his pre-cult self is??? I am working on myself right now....but am really concerned about my chances of my current fantasy that he will grow out of this crap and see the other side?
Thank you for your help guys......I for once feel like I can talk before someone telling me I have an attitude prob.
Scooby
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4
To Scooby + All Cult Victims
by Shakita inone after another new persons are coming to this board with their tales of abuse at the hands of the elders and the watchtower society.
scooby's story of the seperation of her from her husband is all too typical of the wt's intrusion into family life.
they have no business sticking their nose in where it does not belong.
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Scooby
Thank you so much Mr. Shakita-
You have GREAT information here. I am forwarding to my husband asap.
I only hope and pray it is not too late for our marriage to begin in a normal, happy context. I had no idea there are sooooo many supportive people like yourselves.
You guys have given me & my husband more of your time than any of the elders or friends in the last two years already!!!!!
Thank you soooo much! I will keep you updated.
Scooby
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28
help please
by Scooby ini just wanted to see if anyone out there could help with my situation.
my husband and i are inactive witnesses very very recently.
we separated as we are both very unhappy with our lives.. my husband was raised a jw and has gotten flack his whole life by elders.
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Scooby
Hi all-
I just wanted to see if anyone out there could help with my situation. My husband and I are inactive witnesses very very recently. We separated as we are both very unhappy with our lives.
My husband was raised a JW and has gotten flack his whole life by elders. He gave up a full ride athletic scholarship for the truth and I can't even tell you the pain that has caused. He feels guilt for ANYTHING that he has in his life... materially etc. and we are both in counseling.
The elders did not let him become an elder because of his physical appearance. He does bodybuilding for a hobby and the brothers thought that could be a stumbling block for some. (Yeah right!) It was petty simple jealously. He was doing this healthy hobby as a outlet for not being able to play sports. Isn't that admirable????? My man gets alot of attn in the world because he is beautiful in so many ways. He does not fit the "image" of a skinny pencil necked elder and that has some up in arms. Letters for clarity were written to Bethel on this topic and the first was quite disturbing (so we heard) if he does bodybuilding for a living it is okay...if he does it for a hobby it is NOT!!!?!?!?! We freaked out.... but the elders just left us hanging and we still to this day have no idea what that is about!!! We've had disallusionment problems and are not happy. The elders have been no help. Unless you call help... removing someones priveleges and then NEVER calling them again!!!! A couple Elders just said, Forget the whole thing. WHAT ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE?!?!? They will face this too.
I can say.... if you are in the truth NEVER have personal problems...the other side is not pretty. However......we are seeing a counselor. Does any one have any personal experiences that could help us? I so desperately want to be a happy person and hopefully stay married to this man. However, he is going through so much pain and confusion with leaving. He feels so much Guilt it has overcome him, I think. He can't enjoy anything. I see a person within myself and within him trying to get out!!! I was not raised a JW and none of my family are... I think that may make it easier for me. His family says that you can't stumble a sheep and we can't let this affect us. YEAH>>> but IT DOES!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you for your help..