primitivegenius

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Posts by primitivegenius

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  26

  If you could have written any piece of music what would it be?

  by azaria in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  maybe teejays thread inspired me.

  (in the family section) maybe because the church service this morning was especially inspiring.

  there are so many beautiful songs.

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  primitivegenius

  unforgiven and unforgiven II by metallica........... they move me and are very much full of emotion and power
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  21

  Elder comes to visit

  by Smyler in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i haven't to a meeting in about 2 or so months and tonight one of the local elders came to visit me.. he goes on about, how he and the hall misses me and loves me.

  and they want to go back to the meetings, "it must be a teenager thing, everyone went thru it, but i know that you will be back.

  " i was thinking to myself, you don't know that i'll be back, and i don't plan on it either.

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  primitivegenius

  oh i got the same thing dude. elder has been haunting me for some time but im like whatever i can hide inside like all the other people can...... then one day the guy covers the peephole......... and i was expecting my mom and sister to be visiting that evening........ so like a dumbass i figure is them cause thats what they do alot......... opened the door and wanted to slam it when i saw it was him. got the whole we sure would like to see you at the hall bull sh*t and we have been missing you. i even managed to be polite and not scream that i only went to like two or three meetings in this cong before i said enough was enough......... tho i have known these people for y ears of being in the same circuit........... and not one of them has expressed anything of missing me in the nine months that i havent been to a single meeting or the months before that when occasionally id go to one. hell when i went to those two meetings i only got to talk to one or two people......... the rest ignored me..... and i have known most of them for years. yeah im really missed there cough*bullsh*t* cough. oh and he has the nerve to tell me that i need to start comeing back and that ill probably be swarmed by the sisters ........................ um ok then. im starting to get pissed at his bull cause when i said no i wasnt going to go with him to the meeting or wouldnt accept a ride from him sunday and didnt care that they were hosting the district overseer this weekend for the assembly. he said if i didnt then he would be back............. like what the hell is that gonna do. i didnt back down and cower at your feet this time what makes you think im gonna get tired of your bothering me and start comeing there so you will leave me alone ? grrrrrr i need an ejection doormat lol. well anyway dude keep strong and dont listen to there stupidity. i know it bites and irritates but hell with them. next time he asks................. go on about your girl and how pretty she is and just act so lovestruck that no matter what he says you can turn it around to praise her lol. see how long you can do that till he gets pissed off and leaves lol.
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  39

  Did you really believe?

  by barbar in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i am interested to know whether jw's or ex jw's on this board really did believe 100%.

  did you have doubts all of the time, did you have some confusion or did you never doubt at all?

  i recognise that most on this board will have had doubts at the end but was this always the case when you were a good dub?

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  primitivegenius

  i was pretty much raised in the "truth" and at first i didnt get what was going on but by the time i did understand it a little my whole imediate family was in. so what can ya do i had to go and do what they wanted, when i wanted to go to partys or anything i just wished that i could casue i knew parents would just spout out bad association and say NO. so i was a model brainwashed dub on the outside but on the inside i had my own thoughts. but still yet i belived that it was just cause i was weak or something. not that it was wrong, i just thought that i didnt measure up to jahs standards. always felt that way. didnt like service at first but went every freaking week unless i could find a way out of it... which i didnt dare to except for maybe once a month and occasionally twice. but still i never doubted just tried to get outta something i hated. then when i got to really wanting friends to do social stuff with i found that service was my only outlet to get people to do stuff with so i got to enjoying it...... well the breaks and visiting, not the knocking on doors and disturbing people. even when i pioneered i hated disturbing people, but with that superior jw attitude lol i still knocked and when others would chicken out at a door id "rely on jah" and take theres 2. i did all i could possibly do and tried my best...... but ya know...... i never measured up. occasionally i would think............ why hasnt armageddon happened yet.......... and what if it dosent. then id think...... am i wasteing my time doing all i can? then id think........ but doing what they say i should keeps me outta being into drugs or having aids...... so it isnt all bad......... isnt it lol. of course five minutes later i would put it all out of my mind and let my superior attitude of.............. of course its gonna happen and id vow to not ever question it again........ then a while later i would think on it again.... but this was in my later teens and early twentys. it was still almost ten years later before i was forced to realize that it was all a bunch of brainwashing BS. i wish that i had never gotten bapt but when i was like 16 a brother was all asking me......... when are you gonna.... not if so a couple y ears later with being asked that repeatedly i just gave in cause it was the thing to do. but for most of my life i did 100% beleive and still i find myself takeing the jw brainwashed stand on things and have to look at it and reevaluate it to see if its really what i wanna belive. hard to stop autoresponses.
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  40

  I have something to say

  by LyinEyes in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have my reasons for not saying much on this thread and i really think the warning was put out there and it is up to you to trust jes,,,,,,,,someone you have known a long damn time, or someone who has already been deceptive.

  i don't want to say anymore,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, my reasons are very important to me and there may be some that may want to pm me about this , if i feel i can trust them , i will answer questions.

  i will not answer some questions on this thread to protect a poster here whom i dont want to hurt , she is a sweet lady and he knows her well, i don't think she knows he is even on this forum.. you all know me,,,,,,,,,,, you know jes,,,,,,,,,,there is more to it than you think.

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  primitivegenius

  i have spent the first part of this whole thing thinking....... i never lied i just didnt tell everything.......... and what crime is that? that was my mentality only now am i seeing that there were missunderstandings and were i in that frame of mind id likely have not been so kind to me. i didnt plan on going back down cause i thought that i was a party pooper or that i had mooched off them to much and that they would rather spend time with there other friends and they are more suited to each other than i am to them. its the whole partying thing, you throw a person like me into that environment and i slow things down and make things weird where as the rest of them fit together perfectly. so tho i had an absolute blast i felt i didnt fit in and that i was makeing things weird for them. i thought they liked me then when compared to there other friends they didnt anymore............. i didnt realize that i had offended them. who wouldnt be offended by a comment like the one i made. the fact that i didnt mean it quite the way it came across means nothing if i didnt clarify it right then....... and i didnt. jess i really enjoyed talking to you online you were quite fun to joke around with and if i had thought it would have offended and made you cry id have never came on the site. i had things to make up for before i ever talked to you. i didnt know and thats no excuse. im not kissing ass or anything because im leaving this site and it dont matter what anyone thinks of me but these things need to be said and since everyone knows about it all in the open is as good as privately. i hate makeing anyone feel bad and what i did was horrible, the fact that i was ignorant through most of it doesnt do a thing to change any of it. anything they want to post about me is fine if theres anything else i did to offend them that they havent said id like to know about it so i can appologise for it to. i was ignorant about all this so im probably equally ignorant about whatever else i did. once more im sorry and goodbye
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  40

  I have something to say

  by LyinEyes in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have my reasons for not saying much on this thread and i really think the warning was put out there and it is up to you to trust jes,,,,,,,,someone you have known a long damn time, or someone who has already been deceptive.

  i don't want to say anymore,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, my reasons are very important to me and there may be some that may want to pm me about this , if i feel i can trust them , i will answer questions.

  i will not answer some questions on this thread to protect a poster here whom i dont want to hurt , she is a sweet lady and he knows her well, i don't think she knows he is even on this forum.. you all know me,,,,,,,,,,, you know jes,,,,,,,,,,there is more to it than you think.

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  primitivegenius

  well now i understand more about why you guys are so upset at me. the superior jw look and saying i wasnt an apostate........... i was sitting here thinking that was it............. and feeling bad enough about it. i dont think im better than anyone and im confused about alot of things so i an inconsistant sometimes. ive appologized and i appologize again. even tho its worth nothing because i know yall think im playing and im not.

  But he really did not care about the truth, and even told me that he had no intention of leaving the “truth”. He said he was a good actor, he doesn’t care one way or another if this is the truth or not.

  you got this all wrong tho. my words sometimes dont come out the way i mean for them to. what i was trying to get across is that i dont want to be dfed or da........ i want to fade so that i can still have my family. ive seen alot of the things the wt has done..... the child molestation, the lies. and many other things so i dont think that they have the truth. you asked me if i could ever be in the cong again after knowing what i know.... and i said i could but never the way i was before. this is where the acting part came in........ i could act a good jw even tho my time sheets would prove me different. i could never give talks because thats more lies by the wt. right now i dont know what i should do........ i did my little bit of wild things but i keep comein back to the realization that even tho the wt is wrong......... some of the things i always took to be gods standards are still right. so im trying to balance myself. i do wanna know what the truth is and where it can be found and i dont think the wt has it. that you thought from what i said that i meant that................... im sorry i muddled up what i was trying to say but it shocks me a bit.

  i intended to not post again to keep things normal and let those who i felt had more rights here have them freely but then i saw this and was trying to think of a way to show how i felt about everyone and to let people know that dede and denny were nothing but wonderful to me untill the very end of my visit there and then they cooled off and i didnt know why.......... now i do and i deserved it. i wish that i had known why because i woulda have appologised then and tried to explain myself better.

  yall i have been friends with wt and lyin for years and there great people..... like they said i came down and had a wonderful time. they paid for everything which was the only way i coulda came down since i only had a little cash for gas due to being layed off. they were absolutely wonderful, they took me out to the clubs......... something i had never done before as a dub. i had a blast..... it was the most fun i ever had. i know that sounds pathetic and ill accept that as my personal description from now on. they are the greatest.... the fact that i brought any of this upon them makes me sick to my stomach. they didnt deserve any of it and im a sh*t for putting it on them. i didnt realize that things were rolling this way till after the fact. if i could have seen my actions resulting in this......... id have stopped it somehow. hind sight is 20/20 and there is nothing i can do about it now except say im sorry and tell everyone that they are great.

  this is you guys chat and forum not mine, and ill leave it that way. the only way ill post here again is if i can find better words to appologise cause right now i just cant think of enough of them.
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  60

  WARNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FYI

  by Jesika in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  just so you all know...............primitivegenious.............is a liar!!!!!!!!!

  he partied with me and lyineyes....wildturkey.....moreisbetter....pr_capone........searcher and i.

  he is still a jw..........and is lurking here.............he is not who he says he is.

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  primitivegenius

  ok here goes............ as anyone who has read my posts knows im fadeing.................. i havent been to a meeting in over a year except when i visit family and those few times it was only social to visit people i hadent seen in a long time definately not for anything else........ and the comment apparently i made about not being like that and a shocked look of superior jwism i dont remember it but...... hey i was in for 30 years and those looks come on automatic. i dont remember the context of the conversation but possibly i was meaning i wouldnt do all of the stuff they did. have no reply other than that to say but they both remember it so it had to have happened. i did get the feeling jess didnt care for me and was ok with that cause i dont like makeing anyone uncomfortable. by the end of the trip down there i was feeling uncomfortable....... and its probably due to the im not one of you thing i said. there are lots of things yall do that i wont.......... smokeing for one and as im just trying to leave permanetly and not regretting missing the meetings.......... there not alot of things that i have done that were forbiden to me as a active jw. so i decide i need more association with those who have left........ so i join this site........... a site that i had looked at several times before but never joined. ive been given the link by several friends of mine. so i join up and a couple days later i chat and get to know some of yall and am really likeing it. then i meet jess and lying in the room and they said some things about me....... not knowing it was me. so i intended to wait a while then let them see it was me by chatting with me cause they know me and have known me for along time.......... that changed to why bother......... so i would post my stupid comments and i would ask for help dealing with the problems im faceing....... and chat. jes came into chat and liked my sense of humor i guess. said i cracked her up and i was like......... yeah if she knew it was me she prolly wouldnt but i wasnt planning on going back down there so it didnt matter. so then she talked to me for the two weeks or whatever and then she gave everyone in chat her yahoo addy...... and i didnt add her............ then later she asked me if i had yahoo and gave it to me again so i added her. i had no intention of misleading anyone i was just adding a person to talk to to my list. and in the time since then she always started the conversations. surely if i was trying to mislead anyone i would have been trying to talk to her only....... but i prefer to be in chat and talk with everyone. when she asked me a question i answered it or steered it away. she got the area i lived in and my first name and that coupled with my typeing style was obvious to wt and lyin......... so then she asks me and i told her.......... yes it was me. i still dont think i did anything wrong. i didnt come here to seek her out, she talked to me. i have many friends i have met here and enjoy talking with and would hate to have to leave but i refuse to start a war. i meant nothing by not telling her and i didnt think it would matter seeing as i wasnt intending to ever get in a situation where id go back to visit. being unknown was fine with me but i wasnt gonna lie when she asked. i didnt mean to upset and i appologised. i figure the worst thing that could happen was she would block and delete me from her messenger which i was ok with and if she enjoyed my humor enough she wouldnt care. didnt realize it was a friendship altering secret. i dont have to be her friend......... and i dont wanna be anyones enemy. if that means ill be forced to lurk here and just read the threads and pm my buddies thats cool. once again i appologize to jess and anyone else whos feelings i hurt. thus ends my posting career i guess
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  48

  Would you?

  by donkey in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  scenario 1: if you could guarantee that you would not get caught would you steal a million dollars?.

  scenario 2: if you could guarantee that you would not get caught would you steal a million dollars from the wtbs?.

  scenario 3: if you could guarantee that you would not get caught would you steal a million dollars from a bank?.

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  primitivegenius

  depends

  yes

  depends

  no

  1 i would depend on where the money was from and who would suffer for not having it there.

  3 same thing as one.............. if it was insured and all that definately lol but if it hurt one single person besides just not having as fat a bank account then no. if it was the banker whos accounts were fat anyways............ then hey why not....... i wouldnt keep the money or anything lol id distribute it out to those i knew who were in need.......... of course id have to set myself up a bit.

  4 no way shape or form..................... never nope forgettttabout it impossible. if i took it from 1-3 id prolly donate some to such orgnizations if i trusted them or just do the good work myself.

  tho i prefer to fantasize about winning it or something lol
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  17

  *Door to Door stories anyone?*

  by Myxomatosis in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i'm sure this has been done, but i'm very curious to hear stories from your preaching work as a publisher, aux.

  pioneer, reg.

  pioneer, whatever.

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  primitivegenius

  ok had this goofy sucker for a friend and he went out in service.................. had to pee realllllllllll bad so he knocked on the front door and no one was home.......... so he walked around to the side and being in the country and all he stepped into a big doorway and turned away from the road and peed........................................ and the lady who opened the door wasnt happy at all lol............... there he is............... trying to recover and think of something to tell her............. so he spouts off something about vacume cleaners...................... and she tells him in no uncertain terms to get the hell outta dodge lol. so i teased him that she didnt like the hose lenght of that particular model lol.
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  1

  Isn't it ironic.

  by somebody in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  6/15/1972 watchtower.

  religion in the news.

  the church systems of christendom claim they have gods backing.

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  primitivegenius

  dontcha think

  lol sorry allanis reference........... im lame and i know it
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  17

  *Door to Door stories anyone?*

  by Myxomatosis in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i'm sure this has been done, but i'm very curious to hear stories from your preaching work as a publisher, aux.

  pioneer, reg.

  pioneer, whatever.

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  primitivegenius

  ok dang it one of these days im gonna run outta these things lol. went on a return visit with a friend............ and it was an old house that had most definatelyseen better days lol. went into it and it was hot and smelly and very very dark................ only one light bulb and that was the sum of the electric in the house that i could see lol. old man was sitting there in a pair of boxer shorts and i thought he was wearing a union suit underneath the boxers cause you could see his arms and legs where white and then there was a line of dirt where his shirt went and pants........................................... then i relaized that he was only wearing the boxer shorts............ and that was dirt...................... and i dont think he had a bath but prehaps once a week and he was proud that his electric bill was like six dollars a month cause all he did was read bythat lightbulb lol can you say EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW lol