Ritsfield Victory!

by silentlambs 115 Replies latest watchtower scandals

Tina

(((((((billy)))))))))
You have every right to express your feelings! I have found your posts to be heartfelt! I also hate when folks say get over it,etc. We have,we're living productive and generally very happy lives. This happens to be something one never forgets. It doesn't mean we're wallowing in it when we have the courage to say openly and honestly how we felt about it! Kepp on posting .luv ya,T
Kent

Hi Mommy;
The problem by NOT putting such people away forever is the rate of new crimes - because crimes it is! I did see some statistics presented here, and I was highly surprised. Doesn't fit to ANY statistics I've ever seen!
In the figures I have seen before - MOST pedophiles will redo their crimes - and most of them don't even think it's wrong! They have been falsely convicted! They are even proud of their actions - I actually KNOW people like that.
Chemical castration is an option being discussed in Norway, but close to 0% were WILLING to undergo that treatment. I know it has proved successful in Denmark, though.
The ones letting such people loose on the streets again, should allow these people to take their own kids for a loooong holiday in Rocky Mountains!
I bet that would keep a good many behind bars for ever!
Yakki Da
Kent
"The only difference between a fool and the JW legal department is that a fool might be sympathetic ."
Daily News On The Watchtower and the Jehovah's Witnesses:
http://watchtower.observer.org
Billygoat

(((Tina)))
Thank you! Isn't it great that we (finally!) have a safe place to voice our hearts and minds??? Really until I reached this DB, I never stopped to think how blessed I was to have that freedom! I don't mind being challenged though. Keeps me on my toes!
I agree with your point though. I do live a pretty happy, blessing filled life. But my rape will never be forgotten. The pain will most likely NEVER go away. But it's getting to a point of tolerability. THAT is what I pray for when I pray for Erica in this trial. That someday she get to a point that she understands how she's bettered herself from her experience and that she can tolerate the pain.
Love,
Andi
waiting

Hello Billygoat,
When I read your post - the quote was given without the author. It was difinative and that's why I asked who the authority was to make such a blanket statement. Since you explained it was you that you were quoting - I understand you better. Thank you.
I didn't know you were a rape victim until your last post. So am I, many times over by my father and his friends. I was also raped by my long-time boyfriend, but back then - the term "daterape" hadn't been coined yet. I was considered being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Just for the record, I knew the daterape had happened to me - I was furious at the time. But in the Grand Scheme of Things, what he did to me was nothing compared to what my father and his friends did to me.
I talked with my old boyfriend about 4 yrs ago, he's a Sargent Detective on the police force of a major city now. He brought up his rape - and apologized to me. He said he really didn't realize the totality of what he'd done until he went through a college class on rape, etc. Btw, the apology didn't mean that much, neither did the rape. He was slightly offended that I didn't attach much importance to it, then we talked about my father and friends - then he apologized again to me for thinking he was so important or different in my life.
He may have continued raping, but I really doubt it. 'Course, ya never know.
As for feeling emotions - you are completely right that victims should be allowed to feel and express their emotions. People who are not victims/survivors probably will have a hard time understanding. By conversing where both sides will listen, non-victims learn.
waiting
safe4kids

(((((((Andi,Tina))))))))),
As usual, I admire your courage in speaking up so honestly and concisely. Hats off to both of you ladies.
Wendy,
I thought after our conversation yesterday that we had reached an understanding. I appreciated your point that you were not comparing me to a pedophile. But your comments today blow my mind
When I mentioned a mistake, I was not referring to pedophiles, but trying to get one on one with Safe. No I was not referring to her being a pedophile, just bringing it closer to home for her. People do things that are purely selfish that hurt others
What on earth gives you the idea that repeatedly bringing up something recent in my personal life that has caused much pain and anguish for me as well as other people has anything whatsoever to do with the horrors of being sexually abused?! And you want to bring pedophilia 'closer to home' for me??! There is no way in hell that you could! Other people have taken care of that already Wendy, thanks anyway. You keep saying you don't want to compare the two and yet you still bring them up together. LET ME MAKE THIS CLEAR: I do not need a lesson from you in morality, selfishness, the 'right' perspective to take on pedophiles...or anything else that comes to mind. You have interesting standards of forgiveness. I'm done. This is the last post I make on this thread.
Dana
"I undid his head collar and took him outside for a drink, and felt, if not exactly a communion with him, at least an awareness of being a fellow creature on a lonely planet."
Dick Francis in "To The Hilt"
Billygoat

Hi waiting,
I am so sorry to hear about your experiences. I know you understand the grief and heartache that comes with healing those types of scars. But healing can happen in the right places and only at the victim's pace. I know the only way I've even begun to heal is through regular therapy and at times medications.
Am I over it? No. When a friend of mine's rapist was put away for 15 years, someone said to her, "You must have some closure knowing he's in jail now." Her response? "Closure? You've got to be joking right? You close on a house. You don't close on a rape that will affect the rest of my life." I couldn't have said it better!
You know from your own experiences that it takes years, even decades of damn hard work to overcome something like this. Can you even totally OVERCOME it? I don't know. I'm not there yet. Even after others have forgotten about it, we will NEVER forget. Sometimes something little can bring the memories flooding back. Simple smells (chewing tabacco), a song (anything from The Outfield), someone that resembles the criminal (red-hair and freckles).
This is just my opinion (and admittedly uninvited advice) for ANYONE who's experienced rape or molestation. Go to a professional counselor!!! Do it regularly and do it often. Until you face the emotions and memories, it will always be painful! Stuffing them, ignoring them, or believing the incident didn't affect you is just an unhealthy denial. It does NO GOOD!
Waiting, I applaud you for sharing your experience with us. Thank you! If you've addressed your personal experience in other posts, please let me know the URL. I'd love to read more of how you're taking care of yourself now. My prayers are with you!
Andi
gsark

Mommy...may you have peace (sorry, couldn't resist that)
seriously, I love your posting you are so plucky and such an asset to our board.
May I pass on to you something that I found of benefit to myself? I went to Randy's and silenlambs' site and did some research on pedophilia, because it seemed to me I could really relate a little better to victims on this board, there seemt to be so many of them here (there are so many of them everywhere). If you've been there or would go there I would really love to 'hear' your comments on what you find there, you always have such interesting insights into things.
And one more thing I would like to share...now that we have so many new ones registering, especially JW's who may or may not be on their way out, I've decided that after this most personal stuff or 'bringing closer to home' I will do in email or IM. It's just my personal opinion that these venues are a little underutilized by some of us here on this DB. I plan on making greater use of them in the future.
Cheers mommy, and everyone else on this thread. (((DB)))
Life is a roller coaster. Get in, sit down, shut up and hang on!
Billygoat

(((Dana)))
Mommy,
You never did answer my question from yesterday.
Have you ever been a victim of a sexual crime? Do you have a loved one that was a victim of a sexual crime?
Please let me quote you...
What I am not in agreement with is people feeling he should be put away forever. I also stated I do not know all of the facts of the case. There have been times I have heard of pedophiles who are permantly incarcerated, and I have agreed with that decision.
How can you make such a statement when you DON'T have all the facts??? I find this almost comical!
Here's another point...
When I mentioned a mistake, I was not referring to pedophiles, but trying to get one on one with Safe.
If you weren't referring to pedofiles, whom were you referring? Even someone that does it ONCE, knows EXACTLY what they're doing! Yes, they perhaps committed a crime of passion. But just being sorry let's them off the hook? I know you don't say that in your post, but it sure does infer that. No matter what - there MUST BE ACCOUNTABILITY!!! They may be sorry and they may never do it again. But there are STILL consequences for the original action. If a jury decides that the consequence is to rot in jail for their lifetime, then so be it. Unless you have ALL the details like those jurors, then you cannot say you think they're decision is wrong.
By your moniker I assume you have children. Going along with what Kent said, would you be willing to let your children go on a trip with a known rapist/pedophile? What if they just did it once? They're sorry and rehabilitated now. Would you still let your kids go with him? Let's bring this closer to home...
Andi
mommy

Dana,
Yet again you misunderstood me. I took time yesterday to personally talk to you about it. And today, you still jumped the gun. I am not making myself clear. But, I feel that unlike yesterday I will not apologize for your misunderstanding.
Whatever you feel I am trying to say, may perhaps be in you head. I am just saying put yourself in someone elses shoes. Personalize it, not pedophile but mistakes(which we all have defined as not a mistake) I did not bring up your personal life...I just said personalize it. Please take a deep breath before posting in the future, and do not be so quick to jump the gun, that is a sign of a guilty conscience.
wendy
Billy,
Hey Girl, I had no idea! As I reread your post I was touched by how raw those emotions are still with you. I was also impresssed with what a positive attitude you have now. I was also a victim of a pedophile who was a family friend. There was 6 girls in our family, and he had quite a smorgasboard for his sick desires. I was raped by my boyfriend, he also took my virginity as well. My children have been safe, as far as I can tell. I am overly protective of them, and being a victim myself, I am always on the look out.
And honestly, I might cut the balls off of someone that did that to my kid. It is hard to say when we are personally and emotionally involved. But, standing outside the fire, and looking into a situation. I would lean to rehab first before such rash decisions. It is a tough call, and a very emotional one. I am with you hoping the best for Erica in this.
wendy
In a controversy the instant we feel anger, we have already ceased striving for the truth, and have begun striving for ourselves.
think41self

Wendy,
Your lame attempts to justify your words here toward Dana are just that...lame. You obviously have a personal issue you would like to address with Dana. May I suggest you either do that in a personal email or IM, or even better, since you DON'T KNOW ALL THE FACTS in this case either...maybe mind your own business?
I thought you had gotten past your judgemantalism and borg mentality. Apparently you haven't. The purpose of this thread is about Erica, and the triumph of her trial, a pedophile being safely put behind bars so no more children will be harmed by him. This thread is not about Dana, and what you THINK you know. It's nice to see you think you are worthy to set yourself up in judgement over her as to what "mistakes" she may have made in her life that might cause her to have a guilty conscience. Gee, I'm so glad that you are in such a morally superior place in your life. Maybe before you go on making your sly little references and innuendos, you might want to realize that you don't know what the hell you're talking about. And let the rest of us continue to celebrate Erica's victory.
think41self
"It is much more sensible to be an optimist instead of a pessimist, for if one is doomed to disappointment, why experience it in advance?"
Amelia Peabody Emerson

Ritsfield Victory!

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