by ballistic 97 Replies latest jw friends
You made the right decision Ballistic. I don't think she is ready to be in a relationship with anyone.
BlessedStar... waiting to have sex until marriage is one hell of a risk. What if you find you are not sexually compatible? Better to test the goods before marriage. You are preventing a future divorce.
Ballistic -
Read your different postings about your situation w/this women.
Sounds like she's playing on your sympathies for the bad stuff in her life. It is hard to get a good hearing ear these days, but some people just carry on and never move on. They just drag us down with them - if we let them.
If you know that this woman is not for you, Ballistic, you have to cut it off. Otherwise you are tearing yourself up emotionally. If she is a hard one for taking no for answer then you have to assert yourself. Whatever your choice about keeping messages going between the two of you - I feel you have red flags going up all over and you're just afraid of hurting her more as she has been hurt in the past. To protect your own sanity - move on. Don't keep it going by continuing to try to let her down easy. Be nice, but direct. Sometimes there is no nice way with some people.
My son who is 35 went through this recently. Finally had to tell his girlfriend, "That's it. It tears me apart to keep in contact w/you. I remember our good times, but now it's time for me to go on w/my life and you w/yours as we are going in two different directions."
Juni
Ballistic -
Accidentally posted my comment 6 lines up. Hope you take the time to read it.
Juni
Juni, don't worry. It is over. This thread keeps coming to the top. But it is all finished. I accidently left my computer on over night and she was messaging me every hour. But in the morning I told her I didn't mean to leave my computer on and she left. It's very sad because l am actually desperate to find the right woman but she wasn't the one.That's life I guess. There's been several issues come out in this thread unintentionally. It's learning for me or whoever else cares to read it. Let us all pick up the pieces and walk. I learn something every day.
That's good Ballistic. Like I had said before, my son who is 35 gets a little nervous because of his age and he has had very nice girlfriends. The one he was w/for 8 years, a teacher who was very sweet and good to him. He was stupid and she walked. Now he only wished he wasn't stupid about things.
Wish you the best and don't settle for anyone. Take your time. There's someone for you where you can be happy together. Maybe someone who does not have a lot of "baggage".
This is the mom in me speaking.
Juni
I hate to bring this rather depressing thread to the top again, but those of you who were following it, might want to know it's still going on. She is constantly phoning me offering sex, or more specifically a blow job. I keep explaining that although I'm a human being and such things are good, I don't think it would help the relationship or be good in the long run. She's been drinking now, I'm a drinker myself so I can understand that but it is making the situation somewhat messy.
Oh crud, ballistic. Thats really too bad. I feel bad for the girl. Sure wish she wouldn't beg like that...it's a pain for you and humiliating for her.
Yeah shit happens. I'm learning a lot though. I have taken the higher moral ground here now. This can happen either way can't it, when a girl let's a man down or vice versa. But this is the first time I've noticed a girl get so attached with no sex involved. And she is starting to feel that the fact that there was no sex was why she *supposedly* failed to gain my affections. Another experience to add to my bewildering collection of this world I try hard to understand.
Please someone tell me how I can help this girl, she's here on the messenger again. I've done ok so far but I'm not sure how long I can keep this up.
Tell her you're really gay and were just experimenting to see if you like women yet.
