My mom took my son to KH after I told her not to

by unbeliever 100 Replies latest jw friends

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  unbeliever

  Real shock I know that a JW would do that. I found out today that my mom took my son to the KH behind my back when she was in town visiting. He's just a little baby so he will have no memories of it. She was really sneaky about it to. We live 1200 miles apart but she chose to come when I was out of town on a business trip for 5 days. My son was with his dad. I have been very clear with him that I do not want my mom taking him on a Sunday morning or on Tues and Thursday night.

  I have told my sons father that she will take him straight to the KH. Did he listen to me??? Oh hell no. He let her take him and she went to the KH. I am livid with him and he has accused me of over reacting. I told him to go to KH and sit his ass down for 2 hours and listen to that drivel and see how he would like it. I have talked till I am blue in the face about how destructive that cult is and even he was disgusted by some of their beliefs. I guess not enough. I told my mom to lose my number and address. I know she is going to go thru him if she wants to see her grandson. He told me that cutting off my mother was a cruel thing to do and that I should rethink it. I told him that this was a deal breaker for me and I could not be in a relationship with a man who did not respect my wishes on this. We have not spoken about it since but I cannot believe he is willing to put our relationship at risk over this.
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  sass_my_frass

  Oh bub that's awful. Just when things seemed to be working really well!

  Yeah I can agree that it's something that your mum needs to understand it out of line; and if it takes a little while of not seeing grandson to get the message through, she's just going to have to put up with that. Parent = primary rulemaker - you do what you think is best for your own child.

  I think though that it's worth taking some long calming breaths with regards to what to do about father; there are ways to react that actually do make us look a bit loony. It's impossible for anybody who hasn't had our experience to understand our reaction when things like this happen, so we've got to keep it under control or we look berko. Lately I've been letting my family situation get to me again, and I'm taking it out on innocents at work. I really wish that I didn't have to work so hard at staying in control of my emotions when something like this happened; I hope that one day I'll be Mrs Cool.

  It's worth explaining to father that you really want to keep your mother in your life and in your sons life, but only if she is willing to follow the basic ground rules you have set. You probably won't get him to understand why; he's going to have to trust you on that. In the meantime he should understand that you have to draw a line with your mother to prevent her religion doing the same thing to your sons precious mind as it did to yours.
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  Black Sheep

  He told me that cutting off my mother was a cruel thing to do and that I should rethink it

  Has your mother cut you off?

  Probably.

  Take him to your mother's home.

  Ask her questions that she doesn't want to answer in his presence.

  Let him see who is cutting who off.

  Sorry to hear about your dilemma.

  Chris
• 

  lisavegas420

  When my son was a baby, my inlaws were ...Catholic...they wanted me to baptize my little boy at their church. I freaked out. I didn't know what would happen and I refused. (you know demons and such) My f-i-l kidnapped my son and tried to sneak him to a church, but was caught before he got to far. He then went to the priest and asked him if he would come over and talk to me, the priest refused unless I agreed to raise the baby Catholic. The priest did give him a rosary and some holy water and told him to let me be.

  My son is 22 now...his grandfather has passed away long ago. I don't know why I made such a big deal out of it. I know my f-i-l was just worried about my son's soul or something.

  I think about it now and I laugh...I know my son. I remember sitting most of the time in the back room of the KH because he could neither be quiet or still during a meeting (ADHD or boardom, or a combo of the two). There is no way his grandfather would have wanted to take him too many times.

  lisa
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  SPAZnik

  Hmmm...
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  TheOldHippie

  ADHD sucks - I've got it, and all of my kids, as well as my father and grandfather. It sucks.
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  Fe2O3Girl

  SPAZnik, I think that she had left her child with his (never been a JW) father, who allowed her mother to take the child to the KH, not left the child with her mother. Read her post again - are your comments justified?

  Most JW parents would never allow non-JW grandparents to take children to mainstream church services. Unfortunately, they can't see this from the other side. It is simpler to never allow JW grandparents unaccompanied access.
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  SPAZnik

  Wow that seems disrespectful of your expressed wishes. I'm trying to understand why she would do that. Possibly wanting to "show off" her grandson to her (only) friends (which would be) at the hall more than anything.
  
  Is it his son too?
  Did he know you felt this way, or did only she know?
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  SPAZnik

  Yes, I realized I had misread that immediately after posting my reply, hence the edit. Oops!
• 

  dobbie

  So sorry your mum went against your wishes in this way, i'm not surprised you are mad with her and your babys father. I let my son go to a jw party at xmas time and he came back saying his nan was trying to get him to say he'd like to go to meetings, and hes 4 yrs old and neither of ;us were there, i told my husband there and then that i'd never leave my boy alone with her, but then he was a witness so he understands the control and thinking behind all this - in your mums eyes your little chap is a potential convert , her grandson she wants to 'save'.Its so sad they have to be like this. What about a cooling off period, explain to your mum that this will never happen again and make sure that she cannot have him on meeting days/nights, and if it ever happens again you will have to think about cutting contact. Yes the father should have taken your wishes seriously, i suggest the only thing is to show him exactly what sort of religion it is by internet, publications etc. I'm sorry i can't be more help but hugs to you.X