by unbeliever 100 Replies latest jw friends
Sass,
Unfortunately I think this is what will drive us apart. I cannot believe he did not back me up. There is no way it cannot affect our relationship. I feel I have to stand my ground on this. If I don't my mom will walk all over me in the future where the baby is concerned. I am not going to let her have contact until she can respect my wishes. If he goes ahead and allows contact I really feel I have no choice but to show him the door. I already told him this was a deal breaker for me.
Get him to read "Combatting Cult Mind Control"
Now.
Better yet, tell him to get his ass to this board and ask about how children are treated at the KH, and what young children are taught about how Jehovah will destroy all their family who's not JW, and the dangers of allowing your mom to start down the road of poisoning your baby's mind, giving him nightmares (when he's older but still way to little for that sh*t)
If nothing else, start a thread yourself that asks for people's specific experiences as children, or things they've seen done to children (spanking for not sitting perfectly still and paying attention for hours as a toddler), and how JWs twist even a grandma's love to the ends of supporting the society. Then make him read it out loud so you know he's really read it.
If you've told him of how awful your experiences were as a JW and he's thinking you're 'overreacting' or being 'irrational', I think you are right to be concerned about your relationship. A significant other should take these things seriously.
Since she is not willing to honor your wishes, I wonder if you could file for a restraining order.
"Unbeliever" showed me this thread. I had no plans to post until I read some of the comments. I don't think it is proper to talk about our personal life on a public message board. Since unbeliever already did and she is portraying me in such a bad light I feel the need to defend myself.
There is no question what so ever that unbeliever's mum was out of line taking him to church. She is going too far by cutting off all contact. That is the only point I am trying to make with her. There should be some middle ground. That's all.
Ryan
Cool!
There is no question what so ever that unbeliever's mum was out of line taking him to church. She is going too far by cutting off all contact. That is the only point I am trying to make with her. There should be some middle ground. That's all.
Ryan
Ryan, I agree about the middle ground...However, what you don't realize is your mom-in-law will continue to try to convert your child to be a j.w. any chance she gets.
A few years ago, my sister-in-law started working on my daughter and started to indoctrinate her into the j.w.'s. I called her on the phone and had a long arguement with her, and expressly told her to stay away from my daughter, and to never try this again....When I hung up the phone, I realized she never said she wouldn't do it again.
Fast forward 2 years, and guess who is studying to be a j.w.? Thank you, my wonderful sister-in-law, for granting my wishes. (This is why I am here).
Hubert
I'd like to take some JW elders and, somehow, someway, put them into a parallel-fear enviroment similar to the kind they instill in children. I don't know how I would do it but it sure would be fun . . .scare those " men of God" so bad they would end up in psyche wards.
Hey Ryan,
Seems like you're between a rock and a hard place. On the one hand you want to do the right thing with the grandparents (your in-laws) and on the other hand they are going to want to indoctrinate your child so that he eventually wants little to do with you unless you follow him into the religion
I can totally understand you not being too happy about having your personal life plastered all over a public webspace. I don't think bad of you in the slightest. Please believe me when I suggest that I have your best interests at heart and say that it would be all too easy for you to underestimate the significance of what unbeliever feels about this "religion". It has destroyed thousands of families, and she is only exerting her maternal instincts by attempting to keep your son away from the Kingdom Hall and anything else JW-oriented. She knows what damage it can do from firsthand experience.
I agree with you that cutting off all contact is an excessive reaction. Even worse are the suggestions that some kind of legal action should be taken at this point. That having been said, you would do well to keep your wits about you. It often starts with some "harmless" literature, like the kiddies "My Book of Bible Stories", and moves on to more overt attempts to convert. I fear for your family, should that ever happen!
On another note you might find it fascinating to read more here, to understand where she is coming from and some of the subconscious issues that she may be continually facing. Some of it is completely off the wall, some of it is bitter, but nigh on all of it is raw and genuine.
Hope things work out for y'all, buddy.
Ross.
There should be some middle ground. That's all.
Hello. I am not a JW, I married an ex-JW. I was just like you but when I studied this issues deeper, I was blown away when I realized that active JWs are not able to reach a compromise or middle ground, as ridiculous as it seems. Therefore you have to realize that unbeliever is not being 'unreasonable' but protective of your child and love because to her mom, is all or nothing.
Please don't underestimate the power of the indoctrination process. Life in there is horrible. I empathize with 'Unbeliever' in trying to save your child from such horrible future of mind control, guilt and ensuing depression.
Please don't take any drastic desicion yet. Get informed in the workings of this religion. Hang around this board, and even better, post questions! I was amazed at the fundamentalist, non-reasoning and non-commital ways of this religion.
Write me in private if you wish to communicate further. Right click on my name on top and select "Send message".
Respectfully,
Gerry
