My mom took my son to KH after I told her not to (page 3)

LittleToe

Charging her???

Upset I can understand, especially if its something that is done persistently against your wishes. Shunning and charging seem a tad extreme, as this is a grandparent we're talking about.

My sister had a similar issue when my mum would look after the nephews (my sister's children). Once or twice she took them, with the result that my sister got more and more upset. My mum took the hint and stopped even attempting to take them. Of course it helped that my brother-in-law (my sister's husband) supported her in this.

You REALLY need to sit down calmly and rationally with your hubby and explain this. He will not simply get it from your emotions. Alternatively PM me your number and I'll happily give him a call for you.

betterdaze

No, LT, I never suggested that. I was giving an example of how a "worldly" person "could be" treated in a child endangerment situation, when disregarding a parent's instructions.

And, IMO, and from my personal experience, this is a child endangerment situation. The dad, unfortunately, doesn't understand that (yet).

You're good to offer to give him a call and explain things more rationally.

~Sue

Who are you?

I feel your pain. My JW MIL went behind my back when my our oldest was about 10. In a matter of two weeks she got him to quit the choir he was performing in (she never even heard him sing, so she didn't even know what songs they performed....but she convinced him that they weren't the proper songs to sing to Jehovah and that special Xmas songs performed for charity organizations was wrong). The choir had toured in Japan and was set to go to Vienna the next year.

At school, he went on and on about this new religion and alienated every kid around him and was nearly completely ostrasized until he came back down to earth a few weeks later. Luckily he had good friends who didn't hold it against him.

When he was older and realized what his grandmother had done, he was very angry and felt betrayed by her. He said that she used his natural instinct (to want to be loved by her) as a weapon against him.

He's old enough now (23) to interact with his grandmother and steer the relationship away from any talk about religion, however that two weeks of WTS experience has made any further discussion of God or religion futile. He won't discuss either subject....period.

As far as your childs father goes, I too wanted to believe that my JW MIL would be reasonable and heed my very clear instructions not to study with my sons. The thing that had an impact with me was when I realized that the "Theocratic Warfare" concept, basically allows any JW to do anything they want. Maybe a deep discussion about that will open the fathers eyes a bit.

Also please consider that the fathers actions may be more about his thinking that any extended family is good for the child, and outweighs any possible negative consequences from exposure to the religion. In the real world, he's right. In the JW world unfortunately, he's dead wrong.

Good luck!

Country Girl

A grandparent has no *right* to take your child where you don't want them to.

I would quickly bottle up my emotions on the issue and just tell your Mother that you do *not* want your son to go to the Kingdom Hall, and if she can't overcome her need to convert long enough to NOT take yor child to the meetings, then she has no business being alone with him unsupervised, and you will always be with him when he visits with her. Period.

CG

hubert

Possibly wanting to "show off" her grandson to her (only) friends (which would be) at the hall more than anything.

I kind of agree with Spaznik. She may have just wanted to show her new grandson off to her friends, who are only j.w.'s. Besides, as you said the baby will have no recollection of this episode.

But, I stil wouldn't trust her as your baby gets older. She will attempt this again, when he is old enough to "gain knowledge of the truth". I think you have to find ways of making your husband understand this, but in a kind and compassionate way.

Hubert

Nathan Natas

Hi unbeliever,

If you want to have a bit of fun with them, tell them that you have reconsidered you reaction, and you realize that they only acted as they did because they were concerned about your son's everlasting welfare. Then tell them that you want your baby baptised as a JW RIGHT AWAY.

I predict their response will be along the lines of "Huminah, huminah, huminah..."

Merry Magdalene

Could some of the creative and well-informed people here put there heads together to create a booklet entitled Jehovah's Witnesses and Children--Where's the Harm? laying out the various concerns as clearly and succinctly as possible, of course including quotes and illustrations from JW material itself?

~Merry

bluesapphire

I got an idea:

Why don't you get the "Paradise Lost" book and show your husband the picture of the little girl falling down the crack in the earth with her doggie and her dollie and her little dollie stroller. And while you're at it pull out all the graphic pictures of god destroying people at Armageddon just because they are not JW's. And tell your hubby this,

"These pictures are used to indoctrinate children from the time they are born. My mother is trying to indoctrinate our child to believe that this is what will happen to his mother AND FATHER if they do not become JW's. If we are lucky, he will not grow up to shun us the way my mother shuns her own daughter. Is this what YOU WANT FOR OUR CHILD and for us?"

Heck, just use the Revelation Climax book and show him JUST PICTURES. Those pictures alone will give him the message of what you are trying to protect your child from being exposed to. Those pictures are enough to traumatize an adult, let alone a young child.

brunnhilde

That is a fabulous idea, Merry. I just find it so ironic the reaction that a Dub parent would have if their child was essentially abducted and taken to a "worldly" church in direct opposition to their stated wishes. Consider the outrage that occurs when dub kids end up getting transfusions that save their life, and yet they see no dichotomy in their own actions. The bottom line is that trying to explain to a dub grandparent is pointless. They're not capable of understanding. And the more freaked out you get with your spouse, the more you will come across as the crazy unreasonable one. I completely understand how you feel. I know if my parents ever took my son to the hall again I would cut them off without a second thought. Fortunately my husband backs me up on this. You're in a really horrible spot (((((ub)))))

My mom took my son to KH after I told her not to

Xena