My mom took my son to KH after I told her not to

by unbeliever 100 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  asleif_dufansdottir

  I suggest you do some reading on it because you need to take your significant other seriously when she tells you she is right to be very upset about this stuff.

  I am taking this seriously. Two days ago she was threatening to end our relationship and "show me the door". Believe me I am taking this seriously.

  Poor guy. Freaked you the heck out didn't it?? Let me guess. You stood there in shock as the mother of your child turned into a paranoid lunatic in front of your eyes??

  Trust me, you can't understand the level of panic a WT escapee has when confronted with the idea that their JW family members might suck their child , their SO, and themselves into the most high control religion I've ever had personal experience with. You just can't.

  My husband became a JW after we were married. It came very close to destroying our marriage. After a couple of years, I quit fighting it and joined myself. It was awful. We eventually left, and have been out for around 15 years and married for 25. We never had children, fortunately.

  If he came in the door today and announced he was rejoining JWs (which he would not, thank goodness), I'd divorce him. End of story, no second chances, no trying to salvage the situation. I won't go back to that and I won't be married to a JW man again. EVER. It's really that bad (especially for a woman).

  You can't imagine how easy it is for someone to be sucked into this group even if they have their guard up. My guess is she's not only worried about your baby, in the back of her mind she probably thinks if you can't see the danger you might be sucked in too (she may not even realize she feels this way).

  Educate yourself. And remember that the stories you hear are only the tip of the iceberg. Pregnant JWs have been advised to "tap" their bellies to discipline an unborn child who won't hold still during meetings. Seriously. Parents with babies in diapers are reminded to take the diaper OFF to spank them if they won't sit perfectly still and be quiet through 2 or 3 hours of meetings (there is no nursery in a JW hall).

  You don't want your toddler to wake up screaming because he had nightmares of himself, you and his mom being destroyed by Jehovah (look at some of the pictures in their "children's" book some time).

  Be on high alert.
• 

  Xena

  Xena

  How old is your daughter? Has your family tried to turn your child against you?

  She is 12 now and was 7 when her father and I quit going to JW meetings.

  My parents both passed away when she was 3, my ex's parents for the most part shun our daughter along with us. Her paternal grandmother passed away about a year ago but her paternal grandfather is still alive. It has hurt her that they didn't/don't spend time with her but do with the other grandchildren. It's hard to make a child understand shunning, especially when you or they haven't done anything to deserve it.

  I have two sisters who are staunch JW's and at one time they tried to scare my daughter by telling her I was going to die at Armageddon if I didn't start going back to meetings. And it did scare her, she had nightmares. I nipped that in the bud quickly and let them know it was unacceptable for them to discuss this with her. That was when she was about 8. They let it alone until last year, then they told her that they shun me for my own good and that one day I would thank them. She is old enough and smart enough to know better than that. She now no longer associates with them of her own accord.

  The situation as a whole has an impact on her, fortunately we have good communication so I can minimize it. Suffice to say your child probably isn't going to have a normal relationship with the grandmother, but you do what you can.
• 

  Gerard

  I've already told unbeliever's mum that she can't talk about her religious beliefs or take him to church EVER. I really think it's in the best interest of the baby she be given a second chance. I already told unbeliever I would there the whole time.

  Very good. You don't want your baby near a religious cult where he is exposed to being sacrified. Literaly.

  I don't know what more I can do.

  Be vigilant and be present at all times when Grandma is there as she is expected by her cult to not desist and keep trying no matter what. The only way she might obey is that she fully understands the repercusion of braking her word. And you must show the determination and strength to keep yours.

  Be aware that she will lie if that means she can indoctrinate your child at any chance she gets.

  I hope your tolerance will not be unrewarded.

  All the best,

  G
• 

  LovesDubs

  Ryan - thanks for coming in and listening. It gives you a better view of what your baby's mom is going through and makes her look less over the top when you can SEE the level of panic and horrible conditions which exist in this cult and which NONE OF US want our children to endure if we have a say so in it. The JWs are one directional...they respond to the "GONG" and go to the mountain to be sacrificed without thought where it comes to what the Watchtower Society demands that they do. The grandparents are NOT the spiritual caretakers of children. The PARENTS are and JWs think that they can literally come and KIDNAP kids and keep them away from opposers in their lives even if the opposers are the parents of the child. They have been known to have sneak bible studies with kids against their parents wishes. They have been known to take kids and KEEP THEM HIDDEN to make JWs out of them. They have been known to take the children of JWs when the other spouse is an EX or OPPOSED from school or from bus stops or straight out of their homes and take them across state lines and hide them like an underground operation.

  I am NOT making this up.

  The fear is real. Im not saying her mom is gonna take the child but if she is so outragious that she will deliberately take the child smack in the face of the mother saying flat out NO!! Then what else is she capable of??? It's a REAL fear!

  Let me tell you what the JWs have done to my own family: My mother in law was a JW for many years before I met my husband in 84. We married both of us JWs in 87. I found out it was all a lie and disassociated, quit, and the punishment for that was that my own mother in law, my sister in law and her husband and kids and everyone I had known as a JW for 13 years cut me OFF and are not allowed to speak to me. My husband can only because we live together but if we divorced, he too would be forced to shun me except for emergency matters concerning our children.

  Then my mother in law found out it was a lie and disassociated in 2005. Now her OWN CHILDREN shun her and she is no longer allowed to see 5 of her grandchildren. She can see mine...Ive kept them out of the kingdom hall under penalty of MURDER if my husband ever tried to take them or indoctrinate them and it has been a battle for 10 years now.

  Now...my OTHER brother in law who was never a JW decided he hates the JWs so much that he is going to SHUN THE SHUNNERS and has cut off my husband and their sister and her husband and five kids from HIS life because they shun their MOTHER. And he wont speak to my mother in laws second husband who is a JW elder because he sides with the JW children AGAINST his wife, their mother.

  We have no family. We have no get togethers. We have nothing. And in case you didnt know it the JWs dont do birthdays, Christmas, Easter, Fourth of July, New Years....Thanksgiving NOTHING and they HATE all non JWs and that includes YOU my friend. If you arent a JW you are under Satan. Period end of discussion. No grey area, no compromise. She tolerates you only because there is a grandchild involved other wise she would have ZERO to do with you and thats a fact.

  I read where you said the child would never see the inside of a KH again...thats a start. Now grandma needs to understand that trying to indoctrinate the child HERSELF is not acceptable either. All it takes is for grandma to say that mommy and daddy are going to be KILLED BY GOD and the birds are going to EAT THEIR EYES OUT if they dont become Jehovahs Witnesses.....he will NEVER forget that. Not ever.

  Please...please...please...know that this is a DESTRUCTIVE HATEFUL CULT and it will eat anyone who crosses it. It is no better than the Ku Klux Klan and treats people with as much respect as the Nazi's did the Jews. You can kill a person without ever touching them.

  with warmest regards, LovesDubs - A SURVIVOR
• 

  Ryan1

  I wrote a longer post but lost it. I have taken to heart everything that has been posted. I find the shunning stories the most hard to read.

  Scully,

  I remember unbeliever telling me about her mum doing that but I did not really think anything of it at the time. Very disturbing especially about the part where she says that is the only spiritual nourishment he will ever get. He was even born yet. Unbeliever's dad told me his ex wife was crazy. Your idea about my family being involved is a good one as well. They live in the UK but come and visit often. He will grow up with normal grandparents.

  LovesDubs,

  Your post really freaked me out. Bird food eh?? Before she see the baby again I am going to have to talk to her especially about shunning. Unbeliever's sister is excommunicated from the witnesses. I don't want my son to think the way his grandmum treats his aunt is okay. I read a post earlier today where a family was inviting family members to gatherings but not the excommunicated one and they would ignore them. That is horribly rude and such bad manners. Not to mention emotionally abusive. You have given me a lot to think about.
• 

  Gerard

  Ryan,
  Shunning relatives and friends is one of the most effective mind-control tools used by the JWs. The shunned persons are said to be certain to die at Armageddon. which is "about to happen." The rules to use this are somewhat loose so that keeps JWs in a permanent state of fear, as even the closest human ties will be severed without question.... One more example of this cult's mind control by fear.

  Note that if a JW is dicovered associating (talking) with a shunned person they will be dispellowshiped and shunned themselves. Hundreds if not thousands of families (and lives) have been destroyed by this policy, also it is deeply emotionally damaging. And get this: The official position of the Watchtower is that shunning is a "lovingdisciplinary action" and "a test of loyalty to God": http://www.watchtower.org/library/w/1988/4/15/article_01.htm

  You want to get informed and read at least these selected articles on shunning:

  http://www.xjw.com/shunning.html

  http://www.freeminds.org/psych/disfell.htm

  http://www.freeminds.org/buss/shunning.htm

  Especially, take a look at the psychological effects caused by this 'loving' religion:

  http://www.freeminds.org/psych/psych.htm
• 

  Gerard

  I understand you want to expose your child to people to make him more sociable, but select or balanced social exposure should be the key word. The very real dangers Gandma can imprint on him are considerable.

  Would you save a dying child? Of course most people would without a second thought. Your inlaw thinks that you and your child are little less than fertilizer but if she sees a way to convert your child she will...because she believes she HAS TO save him, no matter the means or the cost to YOUR family. She'll do it out of love, but under programing of the cult.

  In my case, after several years of trying to reach a simple balance or agreement with my wife's situation and parents, I sadly realized that tolerance, compromize or reason are useless concepts to JWs regarding religious matters. But if you have to learn that the hard way, please, b e vigilant and get informed. Give more trust to "unbeliever's" instinct in this matter as she is definitevly more familiar with the danger and involved difficulties.

  My wife suggested to me today that I direct you to the link explaining her current experience. We hope this can help you realize the dangers of this cult, which often includes death - by rejecting blood or by suicide:

  http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/131138/1.ashx

  Respectfuly,

  Gerard
• 

  Gerard

  Hello Ryan, I hope you are still reading. Here is a link to a good article entitled: "The Introduction Of Phobias (Deep Rooted Fears) And Other Development Traits In The Jehovah Witness Child" - by Randall Watters

  Hopefully you will be able to identify when your MIL beguins to implant phobias on your child -because she will.

  http://www.freeminds.org/psych/kidphob.htm
• 

  unbeliever

  Gerard,

  Thanks for posting all the info. Ryan is on a business trip but will be back early next week. I will make sure he reads everyone of your links.
• 

  unbeliever

  I wanted to post an update to this. A few days ago my mom came to visit and she wanted to see the baby. I asked her if she had learned to respect my wishes. She told me I was being unreasonable and that she would witness to my son. I then flat out told her she could not see him. She then went to his dad and called him. He was out of the country at the time so she could not go through him. Before she left she said she was thinking about taking me to court. I told her to bring it on. I hope she does take me to court.