by unbeliever 100 Replies latest jw friends
Ouch, that's tough. Thw father doesn't realise the level of his betrayal. He doesn't realise that his son going to a meeting is like his son going to a crack house or shooting gallery to hang out. How many parents would want their children to be among zombie drug addicts. He doesn't realise that the halls are filled w zombies, and that his child could catch it and also become one. How to get that through to him?
S
That makes me angry just hearing that, cuz i know my mom would do the exact same thing. It makes me extremely hateful to know this when they can visibly see the damage it has caused in my life and shows zero respect for my wishes. They somehow actually made me attend a meeting on Sunday to see my dads talk. I posted a thread about it entitles should I go or should I stay. I absolutly can't beleive they had the audacity to ask that of me. I know that if I ever had a kid there's no way I'd ever let them see it.
Yes they will be conniving and tricky and sneaky. It's so pathetic and counter productive and stupid. I hate that cult. You can expect that no matter what you do or say, they will never change. I don't blame you one bit if you take that kid away from its grand parents forever . I also don't blame you if you ended your relationship with this guy.
The last thing people like us need is an enabler who doesn't get it. It's infuriating, and this crap carries itself into the next generation that way. It's like they don't realize they're sick and have a need to brainwash everyone around them into their stupid week minded ways. They need to be taught a lesson in respecting other peoples rights and veiws. They're so stupid, they tear their own families apart, and either don't care, or think they're doing something good.
It seems like the only language these fools understand is the harshest kind. This cult is so subtle ,yet powerful in the way it continues to effect lives, and present itself as virtuous to the world.I really wonder sometimes if they understand how hated they are.It's so funny that we have to go to great lengths to explain it to everyone as well. This cult has to be from the devil. That's why I sometimes always think I will end up with a person who is either well educated about this or someone who shares my antiwitness veiws like a fellow victim. Take care and don't conceed, or bend on anything. I know, they sure won't!
I found out today that my mom took my son to the KH behind my back when she was in town visiting.....She was really sneaky about it to. We live 1200 miles apart but she chose to come when I was out of town on a business trip for 5 days.
What a huge surprise that a Witness would disrespect someone else's beliefs. u/b, I'd tell her that if she ever tries doing something like that again, you'll have her charged. Witnesses think they're above the law and that they don't have to answer for their sneaky tactics. Your mate is not going to be able to fully grasp the entire situation if he's never been a Witness, which is unfortunate.
I hope you will find some way to rise above the JW mentality of disfellowshipping people from your life.
I hope you will find some way to negotiate agreement with your baby's father that this sort of thing will not happen again. Now that you know what level your mother is willing to stoop to, I hope you and he will work together to find solutions so that he'll be prepared next time.
I hope you will find some ways to work WITH your baby's father in managing your mother and not letting her religious affliction of disrespect come between you and yours.
My parents asked to have my kids over for a sleep-over shortly after we left. At the time, our kids were 4 and 6 (roughly). It wasn't a meeting night so we didn't think much about it. Well, my parents decided to have a "bible study" with the kids. What did the kids get out of it? "God takes people who aren't JW's and throws them to the lions."
After that, my parents couldn't have unsupervised visits with the kids.
Kwin
Kwin that's terrible!Do they even realised the fear they put into little kids by that sort of thing?!My little 4yr old came home all worried recently because one of the jw kids told him he would die, and he was really upset and worried by it - 4yrs old and those jw parents are telling him that !Glad i'm out of it for good.
My zealous JW mom took my sister's kids to a KH once. She baby sits while my sister works. One Thursday night there were terrible storms with wind rain and thunder. My sister was late getting home from work because roads were flooded, trees down, just awful situation with the weather. Well mom CAN"T miss the meeting so she takes the kids (4 and 7) out into this storm to the KH. My sister arrived home to find no one there and she knew exactly what was up. She then goes to the KH where a brother tries to escort her out and my sister went balistic on his ass. She got the kids and took them home.
For some reason she still lets mom baby sit. (WTF) I am the shunned one and I just bite my tounge even though I would prefer if my sister would shun the shunner for the sake and safety (physical and emotional) of my niece and nephew. But, whatever, right? I do not want this crap to effect my relationship with my sister so I just keep my mouth shut.
BFD
A cardinal rule for EVERYONE is to respect the parent's wishes, or risk being cut-off. My daughter has a deathly fear of aspartame, I do not. Do I sneak diet pop to my granddaughter? Not if I value our relationship!
The story of the sleep-over made me laugh. When my children were in their early elementary years, I was at my most zealous Evangelical best. I immersed myself in church and Christian music. Exclusively Christian music, and lots of it. My children as a consequence had a good ear, and picked up new songs very quickly. My sister babysat for a weekend, and I think tried to broaden their exposure. She played her favorite radio station all weekend.
To her disgust, all they picked up were the commercial jingles, and sang them constantly. How do I know? You can guess.
unbeliever, I usually don't respond to threads about raising children as I'm childless and my input would hold no water. But in this case I must speak up!
You're the parent in charge of your son's life and welfare and your mom willfully disrespected your wishes. She was sneaky and deceitful. Cutting her off is not cruel, it's protecting your precious son from harmful manipulation that would undermine the most important relationship he has right now: with his mommy. Maybe your mate doesn't understand the full thrust of the matter. Perhaps ask him to attend a few KH meetings so he can see for himself what his son will be exposed to... a toxic cloud of poison.
Tyrone said: I know that if I ever had a kid there's no way I'd ever let them see it.
Ditto! The WT encourages beating children into compliance. It is perfectly normal to see kids dragged down the aisle for any little infraction, hear their wails rise from the back of the hall, and then see them return, zombie-like and tear-stained. No one bats an eye at it. The churches of Christendom provide age-appropriate Sunday schools where children have fun while learning bible stories and that Jesus loves them no matter what. Huge difference.
SPAZnik, finding a way to "rise above the JW mentality of disfellowshipping people from your life" is out of the question for me. In fact, the happiest and most productive years of my life were spent avoiding my JW mother and her insidious control freaking. It's when I stopped studying and stopped attending meetings and moved out of the mentally and physically abusive family home that my life took off, and I ain't exactly dead yet (as I was told). When I started studying again a few years ago, it all fell apart. I knew my JW childhood was a horror story, but didn't realize how deep and dangerous it went because the abuse was so "normal."
It's much, much different for those who come in as adults and those of us who were raised in it. They can get in touch with who they were before the cult and move onwards and upwards. But there was no "me" before the cult. It's all I ever knew. It regulated my every thought and movement and social interaction and my JW mother reinforced it with death-threats and beatings. I was never allowed to just be "me."
It presents an identity crisis many years later. Depression, anxiety, OCD. Who would I be if there was no Watchtower inculcation? How can I use what I know now to warn and save others, without coming off hateful and bitter like Jehovah himself? Did I ever really have a mother? If I had kids, would I turn into her?
IMO, grandparents who meddle in the adult children's relationships and would sabotage the grandchildren's upbringing (religious or otherwise) deserve to be kept at arms length. In this case it's a life-saving matter.
Think of it this way: If a non-relative, hired babysitter ignored the parent's wishes and brought the child in harm's way, s/he would be fired on the spot, charges may be brought, and no one would question the parent's good judgement.
~Sue (sorry so long, end of rant)
I always knew that my mom would take my son to the meetings first chance she got. That is why I decided to protect her relationship with her grandson by not letting her be in the position to do it. I never let her take him on meeting nights. For the most part I have always been there or another family member when she has contact. What really upset me is my sons father not respecting my wishes on this. I have been very very clear where I stand on this.
We talked some more this morning and he said that he did not think cutting my mom out of our sons life was in his best interest so he would allow contact between them. He also said that if I chose to cut her out of my life that was my decision and he would make sure she did not come to the house. It took all my strength not to go postal on him. He just does not get it. After talking to my brother I realized that if I break up with him I will only have my son 50% of the time so I decided not to end the relationship just yet (we have many other issues as well). I am determined to make him see what a destructive cult the witnesses are.
