My mom took my son to KH after I told her not to

by unbeliever 100 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Scully

  I asked her if she had learned to respect my wishes. She told me I was being unreasonable and that she would witness to my son. I then flat out told her she could not see him.

  Your house, your baby, your rules. She can think that your position is "unreasonable" all she wants, you still control access, and until she gets that you are serious about her not witnessing to your son, she doesn't get to see him. Period.

  I hope Ryan stands behind you on this. Shame on your mom for trying to go through him to get access to the baby.

  If she continues to refer to your position as "unreasonable", you can call her position "unreasonable" too. Let's face it, only a fanatic would think of "witnessing" to a little baby. Can we say "restraining order"??
• 

  jgnat

  Hi, unbeliever. I have a crazy mama too. But she doesn't need the Witnesses as an excuse. Your little exchange took me back down memory lane:

  Before she left she said she was thinking about taking me to court. I told her to bring it on. I hope she does take me to court.

  Before she got too ill, my mom babysat my children on occassion. She would often do what she wanted without checking with me, including sending them for haircuts. The last time I let her babysit, I signed her up through a subsidy program so she would get paid like a professional babysitter. She was signed up to 'sit for one month.

  She complained after the month was over that she spent more than she received and demanded more money. I thought, "Very well, if we are going to be professional, I will be professional about it." I asked for receipts. Mom was deeply insulted, but she finally complied. They were a mess, disordered, and duplicated. When I put them in order, called her back. "I come up with a different total. According to the receipts you gave me, you owe me money." She used a bad name and hung up on me.

  Well, that was the end to the babysitting. It was bound to happen anyways.

  You are using the right approach. If she threatens to go to extremes, let her know you are willing to match her. Back up a bit and be objective and logical. Diarize her craziness, the occassions she insulted your wishes and disdained your choices. It will be a cold day in Ghenna when the courts will grant her access.
• 

  Paralipomenon

  So the only reason she wants to have a relationship with your child is to indoctrinate him against your wishes?
  
  That's a special kind of crazy.
• 

  unbeliever

  Scully,

  If she does serve us with court papers for visitation Ryan will turn on her. He's all for grandparent contact but no way would he put it in writing not even with his own parents who are wonderful and normal people. I so hope she takes us to court. It will ensure she stays out of our lives for good.
• 

  Highlander

  She won't win in court. Only parents have visitation rights. Grandparents do not. It is a priviledge(not a right) to visit their grandchildren and should be seen as such.
• 

  John Doe

  but I cannot believe he is willing to put our relationship at risk over this.

  Sounds to me like you have a share at putting your relationship at risk as well--you're the one who's threatening to leave.
• 

  unbeliever

  Highlander,

  In most states grandparents do have visitation rights if a court determines it's in the child(ren) best interest. I know the US Supreme Court struck down a law in Washington about grandparent rights calling it too broad but that ruling did not do away with grandparent rights in other states. In my case I am not too worried. It won't be hard to prove she is a nut job.

  John Doe,

  I was really furious when I wrote that. I am not going anywhere unless he allows my mom to see the baby alone. That would really be crossing the line with me.
• 

  Highlander

  In most states grandparents do have visitation rights if a court determines it's in the child(ren) best interest. I know the US Supreme Court struck down a law in Washington about grandparent rights calling it too broad but that ruling did not do away with grandparent rights in other states. In my case I am not too worried. It won't be hard to prove she is a nut job.

  I agree w/ that and as you say, the visition 'right' has to be given to the grandparent by the court as opposed to a parent who has the right to visit unless the parent is proven in a

  court to be a danger to the child. It's quite a difference, and as you say,, you'll have no problem proving her to be a nut job. The burden of proof would fall heavily on her shoulders to prove

  she isn't a danger to your child and that she has a 'right' to see her grandchild. If you're anything like me,, I would want my mom to take me to court over this issue.

  It would make one 'FINE WITNESS'™ for the j-dubs now, wouldn't it?
• 

  Heather

  my ex-n-laws have taken my oldest to the meetings with them on occasion (when he stays with them) and if you ask my son now if he wants to go to a meeting he'll tell you "heck no" "its boring and you have to sit still to long" If they aren't exposed to it all the time and you explain the best you can how you feel about God. They will pretty much look at it as a "boring meeting" and they will get all the right info from you.
• 

  unbeliever

  I wanted to post a little update. My mom has FINALLY promised me that she will not expose my son to the JW religion. I never thought I would see the day. I am very glad I stood my ground and did not cave into pressure to allow contact. If I had she would have thought she could walk all over me in the future. I still have my guard up where she is concerned but this is the first time ever she has said she would not talk about her religion.