Worst flatulence experience? Here is mine... Can you top it? (page 4)

nvrgnbk

I'm sure the hard-boiled eggs I've been eating everyday aren't helping matters.

I have mild IBD and severe IBS. Why do I tell you guys everything?! Gawd! Anyway, I was trying to figure out how to muffle the sounds of my discharges while using the bathroom. It sounds like I'm really blowing up the bathroom and it's very embarrassing when it happens in public bathrooms! I told my oldest daughter about this and she said just lift your butt up off the toilet and the sound won't be so loud!

I belong to a group called: http://www.ibsgroup.org/ I all ready told my name for this group on another thread, which is "PoopedOut".

What-A-Coincidence

nvr..go into a restaurant and let it rip and come back and record your findings .... lol!!! huevon

MsMcDucket

Merck Manual on Flatulence

I discovered this information years and years ago when I was researching IBS. The naming of the types of flatulence is hilarious!

This symptom , which can cause great psychosocial distress, is unofficially described according to its salient characteristics:

The "slider" (crowded elevator type), which is released slowly and noiselessly, sometimes with devastating effect;

The open sphincter, or "pooh" type, which is said to be of higher temperature and more aromatic;

The staccato or drumbeat type, pleasantly passed in privacy; and

(4) the "bark" type (described in a personal communication) is characterized by a sharp exclamatory eruption that effectively interrupts (and often concludes) conversation. Aromaticity is not a prominent feature

Facts Only

The average number of gas passages is 13 ± 4 in one day r
Most of us pass somewhere between 200 and 2,000 ml of gas per day (average, about 600 ml) r
Farts are composed of: nitrogen (N 2), oxygen (O 2), carbon dioxide (CO 2), hydrogen (H 2), and methane (CH 4)
Despite the flammable nature of flatal H 2 and CH 4, no hazard is likely to those working near open flames r
Gas gets into our guts by air swallowing (which accounts for very little), production within the bowel and colon (which accounts for a lot), and diffusion from the blood r
Gases produced in the bowel's interior space or lumen -- the carbon dioxide, hydrogen, and methane -- accumulate when the digestive system's assortment of resident bacteria, acting like microscopic gas factories, begin the task of digesting our latest meal r
Studies show that many people who complain of discomfort from "too much gas" have essentially the same gas volume and composition as normal controls

http://users.utu.fi/snapir/fart/pro.html

LisaRose

I used to love spicy 3 pepper hummus. Unfortunately it had a toxic effect on my system. I was in line at the grocery store when this first became known to me. One clerk sniffed the air and says "did you smell that??" The other one said she did, and they speculated it was a broken gas line. Fortunately for me it was quite crowded and I don't think anyone figured out it was me. I don't eat the hummus anymore out of consideration for my husband.

MsMcDucket

On the IBS group we used to talk about the "follow" fart. Which is what happens when you're in the mall, grocery store, or similar place. You try to hurry and get away, but it follows you!

El Kabong

...but, can anyone light them?

G Money

I was in the chow line at the dorm and ripped a very beefy, moist silent killer but as it was silent, I stood still in hopes that nobody would know it was me. Then a girl in back of me said, what's that smell? i thought i was caught until she said it smells like they are serving up beef for dinner and she may want to try it. I bit my tongue so hard it almost bled.

nvrgnbk

Then a girl in back of me said, what's that smell? i thought i was caught until she said it smells like they are serving up beef for dinner and she may want to try it. I bit my tongue so hard it almost bled.

LMAO! @ G Money.

looking_glass

My favorite story is one of the boys I grew up w/. There was this self righteous kid and his parents always made him out to be christ reborn. So every chance my friend got, he would fart when he would pass him and then look over at the kid with an expression of "that's gross". Eventually a couple of the older ones pulled the kid aside and gave him a talking to. My favorite line of that talking to was the old brother who told the kid ... "you are just being lazy, clearly you have to take a dump and refuse to do so, so you punish us with the foul odors. Next time you fart, I will personally escort you to the men's bathroom". Of course the kid constantly protested that it was not him.

Worst flatulence experience? Here is mine... Can you top it?

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