by Crumpet 63 Replies latest jw friends
Hi Nina
I hope you're feeling a bit brighter now, you 'sound' to be
I've just been reading through my own 'official request for forum membership' thread from 2 years ago - you was my first welcomer!! I've always remembered that
You've shown me and others here a lot of love and compassion, I hope you're being truly blessed by receiving plenty back from us whilst you need it
Nina, you are living, breathing proof that the Universe is an unplanned, godless void lacking any purpose or direction. If there were any 'guiding hand' or justice in the cosmos you wouldn't be unhappy - and you certainly wouldn't be alone!
It's because existence can sometimes be so bleak that loving, caring souls like you shine so brightly. You are one of the stars in heaven Crumps.
We must schedule a Gabbly appointment. I will bring the wine. You bring the jokes. We can look for your missing mojo, joie, French fries, French dressing, French toast, or whatever other French items you're missing. In your honor, I will be serving toasted crumpets with brie--goes well with wine.
I always enjoy your posts (and they cant all be light and fluffy). Although I am not glad for your current situation, I am glad to know you are human like the rest of us. I bet..if you want... you find a nice guy one day soon. The nice girls dont stay on the market long...
Did I appear inhuman before then? Thanks Snakes - not sure I am on the market - in fact I am seriously debating a long spell of stubborn celibacy. I usually do find nice men, but I tend to frighhten them away. Guess I'm not for the faint hearted then!
Jringe - I am so sorry to hear you were so close to the edge. Thank goodness you didnt succumb and like me you find salvation in humour. This always works for me - I have to stand to one side and laugh at my plight and my reaction to it. Its what I am doing now (despite Sad Emo - your very wise counsel on the matter. If the only tool one had left to build a wall is a fork then you use the fork even if its not the best tool for the job otherwise you remain vulnerable to the elements and exposed to ridicule.)
Thank you BFD - sorry I missed your kind words before...you must have posted at the same time as I was responding to some earlier ones.
You've shown me and others here a lot of love and compassion, I hope you're being truly blessed by receiving plenty back from us whilst you need it
I think of you the same way Sad Emo you know. And I am receiving back in abundance. Honestly if I didnt have the people I have met here to talk things through with I would not have gotten through the last couple of days - I probably would have sunk into sullen despair for much longer. Hopefully tonight will be better than last night. I kept waking up to the same dread thoughts and it was so hard to turn them away. So hard when I cant just turn over and talk to someone about it or pad down the hall and ask for a hug.
Nina, you are living, breathing proof that the Universe is an unplanned, godless void lacking any purpose or direction. If there were any 'guiding hand' or justice in the cosmos you wouldn't be unhappy - and you certainly wouldn't be alone!
It's because existence can sometimes be so bleak that loving, caring souls like you shine so brightly. You are one of the stars in heaven Crumps.
Nic - thats a fantastic and hysterically funny thing to say. I am going to carry that one around for a long long time - that I am proof there is no god - LOL! I love it! Rebel8 -
We must schedule a Gabbly appointment. I will bring the wine. You bring the jokes. We can look for your missing mojo, joie, French fries, French dressing, French toast, or whatever other French items you're missing. In your honor, I will be serving toasted crumpets with brie--goes well with wine.
Now there is an offer that is severely tempting. How about I get through this tragic week and get my exam sat on saturday then one evening next week depending on the time difference - I shall be there for a good ole chinwag about wine, the cosmos, bri, crumpets and how to be celibate! Anyone can join in!
Hey Crumpy,
It will come back just give it time. Discouragement and despair are like a mad dog don't feed it maybe it will go away.When I get the low-downs I find walking or driving by the lochs and glens of Sotland do wonders for my spirit, but I can only go there now and again.So in the meantime I listen to one of my pick me up songs like a song called,"That's Life".Look it up when you get the chance here is just a couple of verses from it but you might know it anyway.
I've been a puppet,a pauper,a pirate,a poet a pawn and a king
I've been up and down and over and out and I know one thing :
Each time I find myself flat on my face,
I pick myself up and get back in the race.
That's life that's what all the people say
You're riding high in April shot down in May
But I know I'm going to change that tune
When I'm back on top in June.
Edmond.
Here's one of my favourite French songs to you Crumpet
Ça ne prévient pas quand ça arrive
Ça vient de loin
Ça s'est promené de rive en rive
La gueule en coin
Et puis un matin, au réveil
C'est presque rien
Mais c'est là, ça vous ensommeille
Au creux des reins
Le mal de vivre
Le mal de vivre
Qu'il faut bien vivre
Vaille que vivre
On peut le mettre en bandoulière
Ou comme un bijou à la main
Comme une fleur en boutonnière
Ou juste à la pointe du sein
C'est pas forcément la misère
C'est pas Valmy, c'est pas Verdun
Mais c'est des larmes aux paupières
Au jour qui meurt, au jour qui vient
Le mal de vivre
Le mal de vivre
Qu'il faut bien vivre
Vaille que vivre
Qu'on soit de Rome ou d'Amérique
Qu'on soit de Londres ou de Pékin
Qu'on soit d'Egypte ou bien d'Afrique
Ou de la porte Saint-Martin
On fait tous la même prière
On fait tous le même chemin
Qu'il est long lorsqu'il faut le faire
Avec son mal au creux des reins
Ils ont beau vouloir nous comprendre
Ceux qui nous viennent les mains nues
Nous ne voulons plus les entendre
On ne peut pas, on n'en peut plus
Et tous seuls dans le silence
D'une nuit qui n'en finit plus
Voilà que soudain on y pense
A ceux qui n'en sont pas revenus
Du mal de vivre
Leur mal de vivre
Qu'ils devaient vivre
Vaille que vivre
Et sans prévenir, ça arrive
Ça vient de loin
Ça s'est promené de rive en rive
Le rire en coin
Et puis un matin, au réveil
C'est presque rien
Mais c'est là, ça vous émerveille
Au creux des reinsLa joie de vivre
La joie de vivre
Oh, viens la vivre
Ta joie de vivre
Barbara, Le mal de vivre.
(Tentative translation:
Without notice it comes up
from so far
It came slowly from bank to bank
With its sneaky ugly face
And then one morning when you wake up
It's almost nothing
But it's there and makes you dizzy
In the depth of your loins
The sickness of living
That you've got to live
For what living is worth
You can wear it on your shoulder
Like a jewel at your finger
Like a flower in your buttonhole
Or at the tip of your nipple
It's not absolute misery
Neither Valmy nor Verdun
Only a few tears in your eyes
When the day dies, when the day comes
From Rome or America
From London or Beijing
From Egypt or Africa (!)
Or from Saint-Martin's Gate (popular neighbourhood in Paris)
We all say the same prayer
We all walk the same path
How long it is when you have to do it
With this sickness in your loins
They may try to understand us
Those who come to us with bare hands
We do not want to hear them any longer
We just cannot bear it anymore
And then, alone in the silence
Of and endless night
Suddenly we think
Of those who never came back
From the sickness of living...
Their sickness of leaving
That they had to live
For what living is worth
And without notice it comes up
From so far away
It came slowly from bank to bank
With its sneaky chuckle
And then one morning when you wake up
It's almost nothing
But it's there and fills you with wonder
In the depth of your loins
The joy of living...)
Ms. Tea n'
Take the next off day and do this: When you wake up, wail and scream into your pillow, beat the crap out of your pillow, pound your mattress, cry uncontrollably. Beat everything that is soft with all your might. Get it all out with tears and violence.
That should do it...........for a while. If it comes back, do it again.
You WILL get better, in time, YOUR time, not anyone else's.
Warlock
I really like some of the old AA sayings. "And this too shall pass." You will be a different person in a year then you are right now. Enjoy the journey..it is like a rollercoaster ride... ups and downs, spinning around. As long as you continue the ride until the end it is a hoot. Get off the ride in the middle, and it is detrimental to you.
Loosing a relationship even if it was not the best is a "death of a dream." We all have pictures in our brain of what we want for ourselves, now the picture has to change. Change is always painful, but without change we do not grow. You have to grieve to be healthy. It is ok to cry, be sad, etc. As a JW we were never allowed to grieve, but it is human and necessary to do so. I believe it is one reason why there are so many mental health issues with individuals in the borg. The best way to get over anything is to give voice to the pain. Glad you shared your pain with us...we are here for you.
Leslie
Crumpet, I'm so sorry you're in pain due to grieving your relationship with MrC. (((((((Crumpet))))))) Time will allow you to have more moments in the day when you don't think about him. I know the mourning will hang around a while, since the change certainly took place yesterday when viewed with respect to the years spent with him - let alone the deep, perhaps complex feelings of love felt for him over this time. Though it's been five months, each day is what you can focus on getting through the best you can. Wake up to a new morning tomorrow and so on. Each day, at some point, honey, you won't be crying. You may not even think about him. Then you will have days when you do. It's ok to own that and mourn that change of heart that took place. And you will get through the days. I don't have an answer for the future and would never put out a time limit and tell you there will be a snappy come back like nothing happened. I hope you know I would give you a big hug and tell you to just let it out!
Sweets, I KNOW heartache is pure pain.
