A Jesus Fish-Bone: The Life and Experiences of JCanon (page 2)

funkyderek

From what I recall, JCanon's real name is Gary or Larry, and he has posted on various forums as larsguy and bibleman. He used to be a JW but left or was kicked out, I'm not sure. Possibly something to do with his homosexuality. He lived in a dumpster for a while and worked as a Diana Ross impersonator. In 1992 one of his friends took a photo of the evening sky, in which JCanon saw all sorts of symbols that nobody else can see, which convinced him that he was the Messiah. Clearly, he's not stupid as his writing is quite articulate and some of his reasoning quite logical. However, he is obviously suffering from severe delusions perhaps consistent with schizophrenia or temporal lobe epilepsy, but almost certainly some sort of severe mental illness. I genuinely hope that he gets the help he desperately needs and can one day rejoin the human race.

minimus

Yes, Larry the Bibleman has issues but he's very entertaining.

Awakened07

He's as good a Messiah as any.

I used to think he was just cluttering up the forum with nonsense topics, but now I see that I can use him as an example of how people can arrive at pretty much any conclusion using the Bible as source. No offense meant.

GetBusyLiving

..if you listen closely you can hear the swoosh of his fingers typing up his 15,000 page-long life story..

GBL

AK - Jeff

..if you listen closely you can hear the swoosh of his fingers typing up his 15,000 page long life story..
GBL

Oh - that's what I hear in the background. Jeff

Honesty

I enjoy reading JCanon's posts.

He would make an interesting addition to the Watchtower Society's Writing Department.

I might even renew my expired Watchtower subscription if he jumped on board the SS WITCHTOWER

JeffT

In 1992 one of his friends took a photo of the evening sky, in which JCanon saw all sorts of symbols that nobody else can see,

If that's a typo and its supposed to say "1972" I think I went to college with him. He took LSD every day for about two years. Then one day he forgot to take it and neither he, nor anybody around him could tell the difference so he stopped taking it. He could talk for about an hour nonstop with out saying any two words that had any connection whatsoever with each other.

Hermano

I think he is Fred Franz reincarnated.

JCanon

WOW! I guess I'm ENTERTAINING if anything.

Out of respect for GBL I'll address your issues first. You have some specific questions that disappeared rather mysteriously about the dumpster, etc. But otherwise you ask:

I just thought I would start a thread wherein we could get some background info on JCanon without any of the end times predictions. Just want to get a feel for who this person is, what type of environment helped mold his world view, and what his likes and dislikes are. Whatever your opinion of him you have to admit that he's a character. Post your personal questions for him here.
How about a run down JCanon?
GBL

Well that's a lot to say, BUT... if you just research all my old posts, you'll learn a lot of the background. In general, I was born in 1950. I was raised in the truth. I was very religious and so got baptized when I was ten years of age. Life was fine. I was odd and definitely a "sissy" in local terms. I used to dress up in girls clothes or pretend I was a queen (little did I know!) with a long cape. In those days, what "gay" was wasn't even a pop culture issue. Besides, everybody thought it was a phase. But I was more than gay, I was transgenered. I played with dolls, hung out with the girls and played jump rope and hopscotch. That was my childhood. My dad didn't like my dressing up but my mom was the more dominant in the family and thought I should be left alone. I remember distinctly not getting rid of my rag doll that I made until I was 16. But I was smart. Smarter than most blacks in my class. I was an A-student and very studious. In the sixth grade I read more books and turned in more book reports than any other student. I truly believe that is what led to myopia, eventually causing me to become myoptic (nearsighted) and needing to wear glasses. So I guess I began to look like a nerd. I wasn't well coordinated physically though, and early on I was always the forfeit for any choosing of teams. That means everybody was picked before me and I was never picked, I just was the forfeit as the last one left. In grade school people called me "sissy" but I didn't care. In Jr. High, it was a bit different. Some smark aleck named me "Sally Lou" and that was my name. To everybody. Sometimes they'd feel bad about it, but everybody called me that. Even so I gained a degree of respect because I was smart and would argue with the teachers, pointing out their errors. (I know, I haven't changed much! I'm still pointing out errors!) That was because of my "theocratic training." And, oh yes, I was quite zealous! In the summer following the 8th grade I vacation pioneered like many of the zealous youths were doing. It was in the Compton Area of Los Angeles, where witnesses were growing so fast, congregations were splitting almost every year and the territory for a single congregation was not much more than a city block. It was an interesting time. I liked pioneering so much, though, I decided to become a regular pioneer, getting up early in the morning for magazine street work and going to school during the day then going out into service every evening to get my time in. But puberty and my gay issues were bearing down on me. I was also quite musical. Mom scraped up enough for me to have piano lessons and I loved it. I got good enough to learn all the kingdom songs and played the piano for the congregation. Lots of other zealous witnesses admired me because I was a regular pioneer while still in school. But I had to quit those ranks when I went into high school. Emotionally that's when things started to go downhill. Sexuality and all that started to come into play. People could tell I was gay, but I was innocent. Yet one scandal after another followed me. One in particular was with this family of about 8 kids I was studying with, from 18 years old to tots. It was a family study at first, I think in the Paradise book or something, but I thought the older sons needed their own study. Word got out that something was going on between me and the eldest son, someone trying to come into the truth. So as usual, the unthinking police elders one night before the meeding actually dragged him into a car and interrogated him about having a homosexual affair with him. He was shocked and stumbled! He couldn't believe it! He never came back to the truth. And even though he swore to them nothing was going on, they didn't believe it. So the prejudice was intense! And it's ironic how this affects you! People liked me to my face, but hated me behind my back. It taught me some valuable lessons. You see, they never asked ME anything. They did this right in front of me. It was as if I was invisible. But I think homosexuality has that effect. Another profound incident I will never forget is a good friend I had who became a pioneer with me. Yes, he was gorgeous! Absolutely cute. But we were at that age where we wanted to move out on our own. I don't remember what happened. He was having issues with his mom, the usual for any 18-year-old. But when she found out we had moved in together, she slapped his face right in front of me and accused him of being a homosexual! Right in front of me! Saying nothing to me, as if I wasn't even there. Nothing was going on. He had a girlfriend. but as innocent as that relationship was, I was slipping... my spirituality waning. My sexual curiosity growing... And that's it! I woke up 40 years later as the messiah! NAHHHHH! ..... OKay. Pertinent details: Got involved with homosexuality eventually. Tried to commit suicide before confessing to the elders. Usual trip. Confused over my gender dysphoria with NOTHING available about that in those days. No help from parents or elders. The usual, you'll grow out of it. And the really bad advice that if I married a "real woman" I'd get over it. BIG mistake!. You know, it's more than sex. Sometimes you are actually in love with someone, which makes it ten times as difficult. Anyway, after confessing to the elders and thinking I'd be disfellowshipped, amazingly they were merciful! They let me off the hook. I was put on probation. I thought this was an important second chance and so I had no excuse for doing everything in my power to correct this. So I decided to get married. There was a really nice girl at the hall, who was faster than ever, had had sex before, a really hot mama! But amazingly just like me. We were very much alike as friends. Anyway, I thought an oversexed kind of girl is what I needed, but just the opposite was true. If anything I needed a highly undersexed woman. But hindsight is amazing. But my wife to be was explained everything. She was 17, I was 20. She was in love and didn't care. We were close. The congregation was shocked I was engaged and wanted to stop it but they never told me I wasn't supposed to get married. In fact, case in point, I had a girlfriend from way back whom I assumed I'd marry. Another very zealous woman. I remember going to her house first and asking her to marry me, just out of the blue. I explained everything to her. But she cautiously agonized and said no, she would have to wait until after I'm off probation. She was wonderful with a great singing voice. But I wasn't waiting! She wasn't that attractive but my new wife to be was beautiful and sexy. But things got disastrous even before the wedding. I was in love with another brother at the time and he showed up out of the blue. I thought I'd chase him away by telling him I'm gay and giving him a kiss, which I thought would turn him off. But it didn't! I think it turned him ON! But that kiss. I wasn't expecting it. This man I was in love with all this time, and now this intimacy. And he's still here! Of course, I told my wife to be and she freaked out totally. She ended up grinding some guy she knew in the park. We were both ready to call the marriage off, but the pressure from the parents to go through with it, we just did. Of course, it was a disaster. Having sex with her made me more homosexual than ever. To satisfy her I had to think men, basically. So the marriage backfired on me. When it got to much, we sat there and cried when I told her it was over. It was so sad. I didn't have to ruin two lives. Plus, she couldn't divorce me because THEN, the WTS said the only grounds for adultery was when you had sex with another woman! HELLOOO! Had I known that homosexuality was not only fornication but also "adultery" I know I never would have went back to it! Oh well.... so much for my growing discontent with the WTS. I suppose they were trying. About 2 years afterwards they figured out that homosexuality and bestiality was actually worse than simple adultery and thus definitely grounds fr divorce. But this time, I was determined to figure out what was going on and absolutely determined not to waste any more time being on probation. It was my definite intent to get disfellowshipped this time. I would not show repentance. I needed to find out why I felt so much like a woman. I needed to be free of the organization, and yes from my faith. Soooo... I just called up an ex-lover and had sex with him and reported it. I really didn't need to have sex with him, I needed to get disfellowshipped. Within the next few months I had sex with over 230 people before I stopped counting. I wasn't that attractive, but I was young. Still the dysphoria of being transgendered also was apparent. Interesting. I resisted drag for a long time. After I confessed everything to my wife, I think she helped me get dressed one time to go out. But it was something I despised. I wasn't going to spend any money toward it except the least. So I got some old shoes at the Good Will, not high heel and the cheapest dress and I refused to cut off my little light moustache. That was like a betrayal. I wasn't allowed in bars until I was 21, but on my 21st birthday, I was in the seedy downtown bar I always wanted to go into because there were all these drag queens. I remember because they give you a free drink on your birthday. There I saw a poster of the Supremes, and for some strange reason, I just fixated on Diana Ross. I didn't know why. There was just something about her. Well, I was this ugly drag queen until one day I broke down and bought some eyelashes. That event changed everything. Suddenly, I looked like Diana Ross. I got into a local show club and became so popular I soon had my own show and it became my new passion. So I became a successful Diana Ross lookalike. That's how I made my money. And after losing my County job (I was a stenographer) I started to live as a woman and working in a nightclub that had shows six nights a week. It was the happiest time of my life. Or the least less confusing. The dysphoria was gone! I had begun to take female hormones, the whole thing. Plus I had a cute Italian-German lover. Very romantic, but married. I thought I was happy. But I still couldn't figure out how to resolve the truth issue. starvation. I realized, this is what "starvation" is like! Well... I had been promiscuous anyway, so I thought, "I'll be damned if I turn down offers from all these guys for money and I'm here starving!" So I went out and turned my first trick. Oral sex only. I made $20! Wow! That was a lot of money all of a sudden. That's a lot of 25 cent pot pies, which was what I was eating at the time. Plus it was fun. I never picked up anybody I didn't want to date. What happened was, though, I started seeing a different clientel. No some drunk who wanders into a drag bar. But these were real men. Cute college boys who are engaged to nice girls who just want to get off. Businessmen out of town cheating on their wives. All straight men. All freshly showered. Soon though, the sexual addiction took over and the money didn't matter. You see, every time a man has an orgasm its like being able to peer into his soul, his sexual being. I called it "soul gazing" because at that one moment, somehow he was psychologically and emotionally "naked", and that was fascinating to me. I became addicted. I began to wonder what every man's orgasm was like. So there I was, observing life. Hiding from Jehovah. I'd see the witnesses on the street corners and accept a magazine. I wouldn't read them. It was a glimpse of a life I once knew. Of course, not being a professional prostitute it was only a matter of time before I got busted for postitution. I was sooo ashamed. But in that cold cell, as I was crying, away from my lover in LA, I felt finally, it was too much. For the first time in all those years, I finally cried out to Jehovah. The nerve of me. But he answered my prayer and I was comforted. When I got out I flew back to L.A. I ended up in a drag show in Orange County. Then a cast member gave me some cannabinol (concentrated weed). It was like a truth serum. I instantly knew I shouldn't be there any more and that I needed to get back to the truth. That was it. I left the show and moved back in with my parents and started back to the meetings. It was a big change. I had been living as a woman up until then. Now I had to pretend to be a man again. I eventually got back into the truth, but the temptations continued. Eventually I was disfellowshipped again. I thought it was unfair because I felt I was repentant. But anyway, I knew I was innocent so just went through the process of getting back in. I wore dark glasses and sat in the front with the back to the congregation instead of in the back. When my year was up I applied for reinstatement and got back in. But I wasn't totally back in. I thought there was some glory left for me as a Diana Ross impersonator and those were the days of the "Gong Show." I got on the show and almost got gonged! But I wasn't because they changed my act! I had on his incredible costume I made out of gold tinsel. It was a lighting extravaganza! Something only Diana Ross could get away with. I was going to sit down at the piano and play and sing two short segments of her songs. But the Gong Show host, Chuck Barris, thought it was more interesting to see the costume. Fine. But I was no singer! Fascinating experience. Go arrive at the studio about 5:00 in the morning with a room full of all these acts! Everything! They group everything into five shows. Do one rehearsal for the band. Then that evening they bring in a live audience to see three shows, which they tape. Then they bring in a second audience to see the two final shows. I was in the last show. When it aired on TV I took a little flier to Beverly Hills to Diana Ross' house so she would tune in. Oh yes! I have lots of Motown stories. Like when the Motown lawyers tried to sue me for using the name "Supremes" when I was heading in an afterhours as "Lin and Her Supremes"... I went to the Motown offices in Hollywood to check it out, in drag of course. They wouldn't see me. But Smokey Robinson came into the room so I got to meet him! I gave him an autographed photo. (helllooo! You're the drag queen! He's the STAR?!!!!) He was sweet about it though. They just wanted to have a good laugh for lunch that day. Anyway.... The judges should have gonged me but Chuck stopped them. I guess he felt guilty because he changed my act. And they must have liked me because he invited me back. But each of the judges gave me a 6. So I got "6-6-6". I didn't think anything of it at the time, but to this day I'm a bit suspicious. Well, that dream back to reality gone, I was set to go back to Hawaii when I get this call from a road show whose Diana Ross had to leave the show for some reason and they offered me the part. It was great. The cast of "French Dressing" did lots of major venues, including the Whiting Auditorium in Flint, Michigan, where we opened for Milton Berle. That was the highlight of my career. (Berle was JIOR by the way, so it wasn't entirely an accident.) After leaving the group I returned to Hawaii and did a 30-day gig at "Le Boom Boom" Room. I was the feature act in a trio of an Asian Elvis (real man) and a Dolly Parton lookalike. The show broke box office records for an afterhours gig. I was just in it to get on TV one more time and when the Elvis and Parton left, so did I. I had a straight job and didn't need the money. But I was still having issues, because I remember my psychiatrist and her husband came to one of the shows. Maybe I was able to articulate better what my gender dysphoria was about and the problems I was having, since at one point she wanted to use me for the University of Hawaii's psychiatric training and so wanted to tape me once as a man, and then as a woman. I guess to see if I had multiple personalities or something. So I did seek psychiatric help. I was never on any psychotic medications. I also never really felt that I wanted to be a woman. The physical change just wasn't enough. After all this, I finally got reinstated but just couldn't stand being in the congregation, so I just became inactive. I was a real estate agent by now and living in Fox Hills in a fabulous luxury apartment. I made $11,000 for the first house I sold. I wrote two real estate books, self-published. This was around 1989. Then strange things started to occur. The culiminated in January of 1992 when I moved to Duarte, California, which was near by job in nearby Monrovia; which is next to Arcadia, which I'd later learn was the modern-day "throne of Satan, where Satan dwells..." I felt in a new congregation, where nobody knew about by shameful past, I could have a new start with the congregation. So true to form, when Memorial rolled around, I attended my first meeting in years. You know how it is, the brothers find out who you are. They found out I was "inactive" but wanted to come back so they assigned a young ministerial servant to study with me. A really cute brother! That didn't help. Of course, being in the truth all my life I knew far more than he did, so the debates began, and so did the research. Next thing I knew, I was finding out some interesting things and discovered the WTS was teaching some false teachings. At the same time, holy spirit was teaching me about the "deep things of Satan" that were going on in that area. By November I knew that 455BCE was the actual date for the 1st of Cyrus and that the WTS GB was the "evil slave". I thought I was an anointed prophet at the time. Holy spirit was beginning to show me all kinds of things. In fact, once I realized I was of the "anointed" and accepted that, the very next day when I went out into service, the brothers I went out with told me they knew I was a "prophet." I had told no one. They seemed to have some special powers of foresight. Like telling me the type of car that would pass by before it did. I mysteriously had on some of the same articles of clothing as some of them. It was my initiation into the JIOR. They showed me what the anti-JIOR were like. How holy spirit made them do certain things that let the JIOR know how they were. I was suddenly into a new spiritual world. On November 10, 1992, I wrote the WTS a letter, explaining to them I was one of the anointed and that Jehovah had dimissed them from his Heavenly organization because they had made themselves a god, and that they would be cast into spiritual darkness. I gave a copy to the local congregation. Then president Franz died shortly after on December 23, 1992. I also began to document new truths and pass them onto the JIOR who came from all over the world to get this information from me. Passing on the information was easy though. Since it is the JIOR who are in hiding and not me, and the information doesn't mean anything to anyone but them. So I'd make up 200 fliers or so and just put them on all the cars in a certain parking lot. Impossible to track. Anyway, since you asked about the dumpster situation. that led to the dumpster situation. Basically I was shown by the JIOR this dumpster which I was supposed to jump into. Holy spirit was telling me that I was to exchange my clothes with another individual since my clothes were bugged by this radioactive lint or something. Then those chasing me would follow them, and I would escape. So that's why I got into the dumpster. I actually saw someone carrying a clothes bag whom I thought would be in the dumpster with me to exchange clothes. The idea was that I'd go to some secret place and continue to discover more truths and publish them for the JIOR. But it didn't turn out that way. There was a little "stool" for me to sit down on in the dumpster so I could take off my clothes. And a brand new box that was folded that said: "TOXIC WASTE". I was instructed to strip down to my underware and put all my clothing into this box, including the couple hundred dollars I had on me. I thought the man was in there with me being quiet, but he wasn't. There was no one. This was on Christmas Day, after midnight. There was a Christmas tree in the dumpster, so it kept me warm. Holy spirit told me to stretch out. Now this is the thing. The last time I was in a dumpster, I couldn't move. I had to be perfectly still for fear someone would hear me! If I was discovered, I could be killed. So it was definitely paranoia time! So positioning yourself well, with no pressure spots was important if you had to lie still and motionless for hours. But that's when I was let in on the vision of Jehovah and Satan standing over me. I guess I had withstood so much pain the first time, Jehovah was rather proud of me and now Jehovah and Satan were taken bets on how much pain I could withstand. At that point, I didn't understand. Why was this happening? So Jehovah called it off and told Satan to leave. After that, I went to sleep. I guess you don't want to hear the details of what happened in my visions. But basically the "war in heaven" took place. It was no more than a court case arguing whether or not Satan should be condemned to death. He was. The concensus was, even if he felt he had no choice about his wicked course and rebellion, there is no excuse for killing several billion innocent humans. You can't justify that. So he was condemned. I thought all this front-row activity was a bit much for must a "prophet"... Well, after it was revealed what was going on to me, I had an enterview with the Father himself, only some of which I've been permitted to remember. But I do remember his physical appearance. He had a natural hair style, an "afro", which explains why he is described in the Bible as having hair like "wool." So it was the same god as in the Bible. The day after that, in the afternoon of the 26th, I emerged from the dumpster, with just my shorts on and a t-shirt. No shoes or socks. I wasn't going to any secret place of hiding after all. I had to reintroduce myself back into my old life. There was a railroad track nearby with an opening under the fence which I scraped under. I felt devastated. Then when I looked up, there I saw in the clouds the image of a child, lying on a cloud and next to it what appeared to be an agle or dove with its wings spread like a cross. Then I became aware of a large assembly of the heavens, with many angels applauding. And voice from heaven that said....[something]. And that's it! I've been sneaking secret doctrinal refinements to the JIOR ever since. JC

JCanon

I have a question JC! Please answer it in 100 words or less.
Where did you ever get the idea that God is using you as his prophet? And why, in God's name would you waste so much time on this board when most of us here are not looking for a modern day Messiah - WE JUST ESCAPED FROM ANOTHER FRAUDULENT ONE!!!!!
Jeff

The plain and simple? It's all for show! It's just to technically fufill the letter of prophecy:

25 when once the householder has got up and locked the door, and YOU start to stand outside and to knock at the door, saying, ‘Sir, open to us.’ But in answer he will say to YOU , ‘I do not know where YOU are from.’ 26 Then YOU will start saying, ‘We ate and drank in front of you, andyou taught in our broad ways.’ 27 But he will speak and say to YOU , ‘I do not know where YOU are from. Get away from me, all YOU workers of unrighteousness!’

Christ returns and he must preach the advanced word. He does so in the "broadways" of the apostates, who clearly know him and even like him, but don't take him seriously. When the "great tribulation" starts, they then figure out this is all real and seeing their necks on the line and their own world ending, decide to play the "friendship card" and remind him of their previously relationhip on the BOARD-ways. The "broadways" of the apostates are these discussion groups, where the messiah reveals himself. So I'm basically just checking off this prophecy. As well, the JIOR who have to arrange things for me can keep tabs on certain things if I talk about what I'm up to, as well as keep up with the latest going on with me that they are not monitoring elsewhere. Meaning what? Meaning there is no true sincere effort to convince anyone here of anything nor convert them. JC

A Jesus Fish-Bone: The Life and Experiences of JCanon

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